There are three important things
that your wife needs from you,
three. Did you know that? My name is Paul
Friedman, I founded The Marriage
Foundation
and when I started to work on
transitioning
from helping couples dissolve their
marriages
to helping them heal their marriages
many many years ago. Over 20 years ago, I
discovered that the western
psychological models
were useless. It always comes down
to much more simple analysis
and structuring, and it's almost
mechanical. It's almost mechanical.
Of course, you can't just be mechanical
in a marriage because devotion is a huge
part of what works for your wife
but I'm going to put together a list for
you
and go through each item on that list
in some detail. It may take more than one
video to do this so subscribe to the
channel
and like this video, and remind yourself
of it. Leave a comment if you want.
So firstly, we're going to talk about
number one. And it's number one
because it's a derivative of the drive
to survive.
You need to constantly remind
your wife that she is attractive
to you. This means basically
that you're telling your wife, "I love you,
you're beautiful. You are the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Oh my God, I can't believe it you look
great in that outfit.
Wow, your hair is perfect. Honey, where did
you learn
how to do your makeup?" On
and on and on, I know it's hard.
You may think you're being a phony
but let's go back to when you were
dating. Now
maybe you're one of these macho guys and
you never
paid the woman that you're recording a
compliment
and she married you anyway. I don't know
why
but it's very important. You have to
understand.
We have minds, we're souls but we have a
mind.
Follow this, you have a mind
what influences that mind
more than anything else
until you take control over your mind.
You the soul but more than anything else
is the environment that is closest
to the mind which is the body.
These two work together but not
really together. It's more like
a mutual struggle
but the body is comprised of
individual cells, trillions of them
and we know scientifically there's
no dispute
that each cell is
mostly the drive to survive.
Isn't it so? We are
compelled. We, the mind
is compelled to do everything that it
can
to survive.
For a man that means being tough,
standing up to threats, being the
protector.
For a woman,
one of the basic
outgrowths of this drive to survive
is to nurture her beauty to attract
you who she married to be the protector.
Doesn't this make sense? Of course it
does.
Is it as big as I'm making it? Bigger
because we are subconsciously
being motivated by the drive to survive.
We don't know about it. We look at it and
we look at it objectively and it makes
total sense but we don't have those
feelings. It's kind of hidden from us
similar to our flaws. You know you have
flaws.
Okay, name your biggest flaw. You can't
because the mind has a mechanical
operational
system that hides things
including this compulsion coming from
the body
that tells it has to survive. And in a
woman's body,
it's not like a man's body,
the man's body tells the mind
very different things to do.
But the woman's body
is telling her, you better be beautiful
or you're not going to attract a mate.
You better be beautiful or you're not
going to keep
your mate. It's very low level stuff.
This is not hard to grasp.
So you bring it up and what you want to
do as a husband
is you want to reduce all the tensions
in your marriage,
all of them. It's like your job
is to reduce tensions. Why?
Again, it goes back to the drive to
survive.
For a man, I'll give you a great
example.
Let's say you're standing on the
shoreline and you're
looking out at this vast expanse of
water
and you see the horizon or you've
climbed up on top of a hill
and you see this vast expanse,
this beautiful scenery. Consciously,
you're going, "Wow, that's really beautiful,"
but you're also relaxed.
Seeing this creates relaxation.
Why? It's pretty logical because you can
see.
You're not going to get snuck up on. Now
you're not thinking that
but subconsciously, we still have these
primitive
instincts and defense mechanisms
and that's how deeply inset they are
into our minds. So as a man,
you're really safe so you're really
relaxed. The woman
sees the beauty. She's not worried about
being snuck
up on because she's got you to take care
of her.
So it's very very
underneath, very subconscious stuff
but it's very real.
So she has this fear
because that's what drives to survives
compel
in the mind. It's a fear that you're
going to leave her for
a younger more beautiful woman
so it's your job.
What your wife needs from you
is for you to constantly remind her
that she's the most attractive woman
you have ever seen.
It's not that hard. It's got to be
constant though,
"Honey, you're beautiful." "Oh my God, you're
beautiful."
"Wow, look at you." "Oh my God, I can't
believe how beautiful you are
over and over and over and over." Even if
she says you know
you're pouring it on too thick, keep
pouring it on
that's what she needs and you are
there to provide her
with what she needs. That is
your job and it should be done
with love, consideration,
and integrity.
You go back to the mind. What if I
don't feel that way? Then you make your
mind feel that way, it's your mind.
Okay. You need to subscribe to this
channel, like this video and then go to
part
two because there are two other things
that your wife needs from you and we're