Translator: Mohand Habchi Reviewer: Denise RQ
Hi, my name is Harry Backer.
I'm a student and a poet,
and before to enter poetry, I used to be a rapper
as you can probably tell by my swagga.
But I was always told, "You should write about what you know."
So instead of writing raps about killing people,
or driving fast cars over people,
I used to write raps about
doing a paper round, playing with Lego, and maths.
So without getting too mathsy too soon, if you imagine a Venn diagram
where this circle is maths, and this circle is Jay-Z,
this is going to for that kind of niche crossover in the middle.
So maybe imagine I've got some backing dancers and get into:
I've got my calculator on statistics mode, pencil and protractor and I'm ready to go,
they say that I'm a looser with no life and no hope,
I'm a mathematician; what types of facts are those?
If you grew up with sums since you were three and a third,
and could be talented with numbers without being a nerd,
to me that doesn't seem irrational like surds,
but if you don't like my logic then just listen to my words.
No, I may not be normal like a distribution curve.
If I don't fit in, well, I don't give a standard deviation. (Laughter)
They call me the denominator, because I defy crowds like hyperbolic equations.
Yes, I don't know what you take me as, as the intelligence that HB has,
but from fractions to decimals, I ain't dumb.
I've got 99 problems, but maths ain’t one, hit me.
(Laughter)
99 problems but maths ain't one.
And if you're having a number problem, I feel bad for you, son.
I got 99 problems, but maths ain't one, hit me.
Dancers get, "Woo!" (Laughter)
99 problems but maths ain't one,
that took me recite pi like Mr. Palfreyman.
-He's a Maths teacher - (Laughter)
99 problems but maths ain't one.
I'm break it down for the pi solo, like,
3.14159,
2653589,
7932384,
62643383279502884197169399375
105.
That's 51 decimal places, and I've got a few more,
hit 'em with the 820974,
94459230781.
I've got 99 problems, but math ain't one, hit me.
(Applause)
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
As I got more into poetry,
I decided I wanted to be accepted as a proper poet,
and so to do that I needed to write a love poem.
But I wanted it to be cool, so I put dinosaurs in it.
(Laughter)
So this is called "Dinosaur Love":
I want to say I love you, but it seems it's not enough,
because when people say I love you, it can mean a lot of stuff,
like, "I'll always have your back," or "I'm glad I'm not alone,"
or "To be honest I'll say anything so you'll hang up the phone
because I'm kind of in the middle of something right now,
and these Doctor Who boxsets aren't going to watch themselves."
I want to say I love you, but it seems it's not enough,
because when people say I love you, it can mean a lot of stuff,
and all I'm really trying to say is,
raaaaaawwwwwrrrrrrrrrrr!
I want to love you like a T.rex
(Laughter)
with a tiny brain but a massive heart.
And if I was a T.rex, I could hold you in my T.rex arms,
and protect you from harm, because that's dinosaur love.
It's the way that you send spines down my spine like a Stegosaurus,
or how just like dinosaurs, no one cares what came before us,
because I've got that love so big it cannot be ignored.
Like if you're with a dinosaur, everything else seems secondary.
Dinosaurs are not mythical creatures they're legendary, plus, just really cool.
The thing with dinosaurs is dinosaurs are kind of awesome,
more than that they actually existed.
Yes, my love is real.
I ain't talkin' blindly walkin' strings-attached like Theseus.
That's Minotaur love, when this is dinosaur love.
This ain't no damsel in distress, trapped princess, dragon slaying quest,
because 1, dragons never happened, 2, most women don't need rescuing
- Feminist dinosaurs - (Laughter)
This is less prancing unicorns, more two tonne triceratops,
or terrifying pterodactyls tearing terror from above,
it's dinosaur love.
Molton rocket, Meteoric,
trust me, I've got a love so old school, it's pre-historic.
So if you're into Spielberg, or hip hop with a classic vibe,
then we could watch Jurassic Park, or listen to Jurassic Five.
And if you like a bone, then I know a place where we could see 'em,
I'm a lifetime member of The Natural History Museum.
(Laughter)
I want to say I love you, but that might be awkward,
so instead, I'm happy to let that stay in my head, where it cannot go wrong.
And if as time goes on, my Dino love dies out,
as you'd expect, when it's extinct,
I'd rather that we remained friends than became ex's.
But if somehow, against the odds, my Dino love proves so colossal
that it stands the test of time perfectly preserved like a fossil,
then one day, when you've been left in ruins,
and need someone to help excavate through them,
it won't take an archeological expert to point you towards me.
And at that point, I'll point out that you're like a Brachiosaurus,
because there's no one above you,
and I'll be able to look you in the eyes and say,
raaaaaawwwwwrrrrrrrrrrr!
Thank you very much.
(Applause)