[upbeat intro music]
hello everybody it is me chaseypoo and today I'm so excited yes I do this video
once a year and yes it's getting redundant but it's still a celebration
of my milestone in my life and something that I like to talk about and think
about so I think it's important to talk about anyway so before I even go into
this sorry about my hair like literally it was beautiful this morning it had a
little curl and it was just like a little wavy it looked really good and
then the humidity level got to like maybe 7,000 percent so now my hair is
like a big ball of pouf I'm like I want to put it up but I also want to put it
down because I want like videos of me with long hair said I have things to
refer to later on in the future when I don't have long hair or if my hair's
longer I don't know whatever today is June 16th 2019 alright this
means that as of today actually technically as of like I believe it was
maybe like 5:00 p.m. 5:00 6:00 p.m. in the afternoon I got my first
testosterone shot and listen I know nine years later you're like you're still
obsessed with this you're still obsessed talking about this because a lot of
people online I've seen who kind of start the transition online talk about
the transition online they kind of not make their whole life about their
transition kind of move away from the YouTube platform I'm not saying I'm
making my whole life about my transition I do talk about things that aren't
translated and I do review products and stuff like that but I think it's so
important to show people who are older aunty like in terms of years to people
who are just starting out because yesterday I was in the car driving and I
realized I was like wow okay so tomorrow's my nine years on T and I just
stopped and think that I in stopped the car I just stopped to think I honestly
that's that's one year away from ten and I never thought that that was possible
and you want to know why because when I started t I didn't know anyone who had
been on t for more than five or six years so I had no one to look up to the
only people that I knew might have been on t for that long had written books
like the testosterone files and things like that that like you you can't really
talk to the person and they're just a book so you have to read the book and
it's their experience in the beginning not their experience now so I guess I'm
talking to you about my experience now b9
I'm 28 years old man I started to when I was 19 and it has been a bumpy road
ahead as I've talked about in many of my update videos I was on T for a whole
year and then I went off for a little bit and then I went back on I need to do
that for myself if you are confused as to why the hell a trans person would
ever want to do that I'll put the video description link I'll put the link in
the description below so that you can take a look at my explanation of you
know why I went off T because I stigmatized as it is I think it's super
important to talk about how we feel because yeah look the physical changes
are real okay and it's amazing to see the physical changes but emotionally
alright you don't change personality it's nothing like that you just you go
through a lot of things emotionally and we need to create an environment in a
space where that people feel safe talking about this anyways let's talk a
little bit about changes because there is this myth okay and to me it's a myth
where it says after five years of being on testosterone all of the changes that
could have happened happen like nothing is supposed to change anymore
listen I call BS on that because if you look at cis men alright or people who
just have testosterone in their bodies and that's you know the puberty that
they went through and things like that you see them grow and then as the years
go by people change and it's the same thing for people who are on estrogen
over who have estrogen like your body changes and develops so this whole all
of the changes will happen in five years like most of the changes that are like
whoa in your face will happen within the first five years but that doesn't mean
that in those changes things are still going to squiggle around give you an
example I have a lot of issues with bleeding and that's a thing that like
goes away within the first one to six seven eight months of starting T and for
me it's been no no none none yes none none none yes yes and now yes yes yes
every second month which is really annoying really not common not trying to
scare you I just have a lot of issues with my testosterone levels and my
estrogen levels usually testosterone levels like overpower estrogen they're
like we're takin over you however either my body really likes the testosterone
and really in races it and sucks it in and then
converts it to estrogen or my body's like now I'm gonna make more estrogen
than that conkers yes then testosterone somehow no idea look at the science so
because my hormone levels are kind of up and down for the last nine years I would
say more for the last four years um I've had some issues with that maybe
four years ago I had a really hairy stomach and then I last for like I used
to like trim it and now it is still pretty hairy but it's not as hairy as it
was and then sometimes it is it's very interesting like the body really does
change and that's a normal thing and I think that we absolutely need to embrace
it and have two more things I want to mention before I go first is growth so
down dere growth down there if you don't know I'm talking about I'll put links in
the description below of what I am talking about but not that my growth has
grown more from year 8 to year 9 it's nothing like that however I'm becoming
more comfortable with my body and more comfortable with myself in a way where
I'm like I don't really care what other people think anymore
and it makes me feel more confident in my growth and in sex and in my own body
and I know that might not make any sense to you can barely make sense to me but
yeah so as you can see I'm sweating so the second thing I wanted to mention is
my hair all right so I have been growing out my hair for a year and I think the
last time I cut my hair for real was in March or in April of last year of 2018
so that is exciting and my hair is is long and I did get a haircut like maybe
three weeks ago just to even it out a little bit cuz it was all over the place
so I am growing out my hair and I have had some weird comments online and
please if you see these comments on my videos just like just just mess with
these people because like wait you look like a girl now why are you growing out
your hair are you d transitioning yes cuz men aren't allowed to have long hair
at all because there are no men in history none whatsoever that I've ever
had long hair anyways hair is very important to me personally from my own
body all right and I have been terrified since day -1 of testosterone
that I was going to lose all of my hair and the fact that we are now in year 9
and I have been taking very good care of my hair as much as I possibly can
i hydrate it I massage my scalp I don't pull my hair
I really just dab the towel and make sure not to brush it too much or pull it
back I don't dye my hair as much as I used to
I don't know if you check any of my videos but really the last time I like
bleached my hair is a very long time ago I'm just like taking care and of course
oh my god I'm also on a medication that I take called finasteride that I take
every single day and that is to help reduce hair falling out and I've been on
that for maybe four or five years now and that has been a lifesaver for me so
hopefully when I'm making this video next year when it's my ten years on t I
can talk to you about my hair again because there are things I'm very you
know I'm talking you about my body and how good I feel and I don't care what
other people think but my hair is different Matt I don't know I have this
thing in my head I just I don't know people are always asking me like why do
you have long hair why are you doing that I'm like you know what I rather do
it now and grow out my hair long and deal with this really awkward phase
where the hair doesn't look that great but sometimes looks good because one day
I'm not gonna have hair probably and that's where my brain is automatically
going I'm not going to that negative but I want to have fun right now while I'm
young so I want to enjoy this hair and in the future if I lose it all that's
what happens welcome to testosterone but as of right now my hair looks very
healthy it's very strong and I all right Ally and I do have one more thing I want
to talk about I've been taking a picture of my face every single day since June
15 2010 alright that's nine years as of today well yesterday like that is just
mind-blowing and every single day so of course every year I put out a video
where I do the comparison of my faces so I'll just give you like a little of what
I used to look like before testosterone and what I look like right now so
there's a pretty big difference yeah sometimes I think about how long ago I
started tea and I'm like was 19 I'm 28 now like I am close to 30
like that is such a foreign concept to me because I literally didn't think I
could live longer than like 23 like there's no future for me like you
graduated high school and then what I did not know that you can actually have
a future it's like I don't want to just be trans that's like that sucks like I
don't I want to be able to like have a life and I have a life and I have a
master's degree in sociology and I do research I do presentations and I make
videos and I work also part-time at a running store so like I have a
fulfilling life and I have two beautiful cats and a partner and I just met if you
were to give me all this information about my life today to the person who is
19 years old scared shitless by the way to start testosterone so like totally
normal if you're scared I don't know if I could've believed you because back
then I didn't know anybody who'd been on t that long anyways I'm gonna go because
the AC is off the windows are all closed there's no fan nothin I'm literally
melting I don't know why but I kind of want to show you my titty I did pass my
six years post off in May so I'll post that video also in the description below
but yeah here's a little his little titty you know you can't have a video
with chase without of titties am i right alright thank you for joining me and I
look forward to talking to you about this again next year I'm super excited
for my ten years on t I have this big plan it's just I'm proud of myself and I
don't know what I'm proud of myself for right now and that's okay
I'm just maybe the the heat is like making me delirious I'll talk to you
guys later make sure you watch the video of my
every day picture they'll I'll put that link down stairs to downstairs okay I
love you bye