In this video, we're going to talk about how to end a conversation politely.
I have seven tips for you. So let's unpack it.
Hello again friends. Alex Lyon here. And this channel, Communication Coach, is here
for people like you, rising leaders, so that you can increase your own personal
leadership impact and bring out the best and all of the people around you. And
today we're talking about people skills. Every leader needs good people skills
because sometimes people don't respect the boundaries that we have on our time
and the kinds of work that we need to do. And if you're like me you've been
trapped, you've been painted in a corner by a
person who won't let that conversation go. So we're gonna talk about seven ways
that you can end these conversations politely. And as we talked about the list,
I'd like to ask yourself which of these seven do you feel would be most helpful
for you personally. Because if you can pick out just one or even two, that will [help]
make sure you put it into practice that much more. So let's talk about the seven
steps. Number one. You have to end on your turn. So in a conversation, there's a back
and forth dynamic to communication. And when you want to end the conversation,
you do it when you're already talking. You can't interrupt the other person
because that will not come across as polite. That's an interruption. So you
fight for a talking turn, say what you have to say, and then during that talking
turn you signal that you're ending the conversation. You have to end on your
turn. All the rest of the tips flow from this concept. Tip number two.
Set a time limit. Somewhere in the conversation, you have to indicate how
much time you have to talk. You may do it at the very beginning of the
conversation and say hey it's good to see you Steve. I've got about five
minutes to talk what's up. Or you can do it somewhere in the middle of the
conversation. You might say something along the lines of I have about one more
minute before I have to go but let me finish with this thought. And somewhere
in there you're signaling the time and then they hear oh okay this conversation
is going to end. And that's the way normal people do this they let you know
that they have about a certain amount of time and then they end the conversation.
This is gonna be familiar to people. The third thing you want to do is like a
little secret technique you pack up your stuff. This is a nonverbal way to
show them that you are leaving and moving on to the next thing. So you start
putting things in your bag. You get your keys out. You put your coat on. this shows
them oh something's changing here. Alex is about to leave. So that's a nonverbal
signal that shows, it's reinforcing the fact that you're leaving verbally, you
already said you're gonna leave, you have about a minute left or so and then you put
your stuff on, you're committing to this non-verbally. By the way, these are called
leave-taking behaviors. And this is what we all do naturally when we're about to
go and so these cues are really known and powerful to most people. They will
pick up on them. The fourth thing you want to do is tell them that you have to
go. So you have to use phrases that they're used to hearing like I've got a
run. I've got to get going. Those are phrases that signal once again
that you're going to go. A lot of times people even feel like just saying that
feels rude. But I assure you these are just common phrases that wrapped into the
other tips, they're going to understand that this means you're going to go.
The next tip you want to do is tell them what you're about to do next. And you
don't want to be too specific. Keep it nice and concise. But if you say things
like I have a meeting to go to or I have some projects that I've got to get back
on or I'm a little behind on some work, then they'll know that oh he's not just
abandoning the conversation because he doesn't like me. He's going
because he has something else to do. So that's the next tip. The tip after
that is to use politeness. This is what we do when we like a conversation with
someone when we're happy that we've seen them. We say toward the end of it it was
really great catching up. I'm so glad I bumped into you. This was a great
conversation. Now of course you want to be honest but pick something that is
honest and is true to who you are and express that politeness to them because
that shows them a little bit of respect but also this is the way we signal that
we're wrapping up normally. So again, it'll be familiar to them and it'll set
off those cues for them oh I guess we're wrapping up. Like if somebody says it was
so great catching up with you I'm so glad I bumped into you, we don't normally
say that at the beginning of the conversation. We say it toward the end
and so that'll let them know yet another way that the
conversation is ending by using that politeness. And the last thing you want
to do is to apologize and repeat. Now you want to say, if they're stubborn and
they're not breaking off, you want to say I'm really sorry but I do have to get
going. Or I apologize but I've got to go to my
meeting now. A lot of times people need that little extra reinforcement toward
the end. And by the way, saying you're sorry quickly or apologizing, you
don't wanna drag it out, make too big a deal of it. bBut this is the way people
talk in a normal kind of polite conversation. They say little phrases
like that. It doesn't mean you've actually done something wrong that you need to
apologize for it. It's just a way once again to signal that you're trying to be
respectful to that person. Now let me reassure you that if you do these seven
techniques or even some of these techniques, you will come across as
polite. A lot of times when we're maintaining a boundary we feel like just
maintaining a boundary around our time around our energy and our focus that's
impolite, but the truth is is that only you can maintain your boundaries. Other
people are not going to do that for you, and if you're routinely getting painted
into a corner in a conversation by somebody, they need a reminder of where
that boundary is and if you do it politely they should respect it and
their feelings are not gonna be hurt if you handle it this way. So as I
mentioned earlier, I want to ask the question of the day. Which of these seven
tips do you most see benefiting you personally? Which one do you think would
help you the most? I would love to hear your comments in that section below the
video. So thanks. God bless and I'll see you next time.