Film isn't just a visual medium it's a verbal one too and
nowhere is the brilliance of a good script easier to hear than in the mouths of
the characters bickering and bantering, yelling and yapping, probing and
pontificating these are our picks for the best dialogue of all time.
(Music)
Kicking us off at #10, we're looking at dialogue that was brilliant in its
specificity and how it evoked a certain place or time or sense of character by
choosing words, pacing, structure, cadence that was specifically evocative.
This is dialogue from 'The Departed'.
- Well, laudy (Bleep) dah.
- 'On the Waterfront'.
- A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville.
- And 'Snatch'.
- (Inaudible) with horses, you know.
- 'My Cousin Vinny'.
- Two youths.
- 'Juno'. - Honest to blog.
- 'True Grit'.
- (Inaudible) - And 'The Big Lebowski'.
- I'm the dude man.
- However, for our number 10 pick we think it's pretty damn hard to beat 'Hunger'.
- I just won't go in.
- Grand.
- Filthy habit, disgusting.
- Aye, awful.
Lovely though.
- Aye, praise the Lord.
- We're not actually Irish so this could be about as accurate as
a Lucky Charms commercial, but goddamnit if it doesn't sound bang on to us.
And what's more important even than its accuracy is how it uses it.
How it dresses a most urgent of conflicts in the most eloquent and
specific of clothing.
There's a certain musicality to the sound of it.
A rhythmic patter to what amounts to a negotiation for a group of mens' lives.
It transports you to a place in a time where terrible decisions had to be made
and illustrates it with the most beautiful of language.
(Sound) - Next we're considering wordplay,
verbal trickery, linguistic aerobics.
The famous Who's on First routine is the classic benchmark here.
- Well, then who's playing first?
- Yes. - I mean the fellow's name on first base.
- Who? - But we also have to show some love for
'The Grand Budapest Hotel'.
- A second copy of the second will.
- Lucky Number Slevin'.
- I never thought you were him, I thought he was you.
- And our Number 9 pick, 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern' Are Dead.
- A man talking sense to himself is no matter
than a man talking nonsense not to himself.
- Or just is mad.
- And he does both,. - So there you are.
- Stark raving insane.
- 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead' is Tom Stoppard's absurdist spinoff of
Shakespeare's Hamlet following two of its most interesting minor characters as they
grapple with various existential dilemmas, attempting to riddle their way through
an inherently non sensical world in one extended conversation the whole film long.
So the turn of a phrase is tantamount to the entirety of the drama.
It is even physicalized in a verbal tennis match as they match
wits instead of swings.
The word play is the plot.
They seemingly live and die by their language and it puts an urgency
behind their conversation that is both desperately hilarious and
completely gripping.
Of course, sometimes, it's not the words.
So much is having relate to the meaning underneath.
We're talking subtext.
Dalogue that takes the scenic route, that zigs when the intention zags,
that works to conceal or contain or contrast the underlying truth.
It's done wonderful all over 'Double Indemnity'.
- I wonder if you wonder.
- 'The Third Man' - You oughta leave this thing alone.
- And famously in 'The Godfather.' - I'm
going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
- But come on, people,
we'd have to be kidding ourselves to not go Tarantino's way.
And while he's written Cirque du Soleil level verbal contortion all the way
from Reservoir Dogs.
- I'll bet you're a big Lee Marvin fan, aren't you?
- To 'Hateful Eight'.
- Did I know him?
Yep.
(Laugh) Yeah, I knew him.
- There's nothing that's had quite the subtextual impact as 'Pulp Fiction'.
- Looks like me and Vincent caught you boys at breakfast.
Sorry about that.
- What you having?
- Hamburgers. - Hamburgers.
The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.
- What kind of hamburgers?
Cheeseburgers.
- No, no, no, no.
Where'd you get them?
- Tarantino is the master of subtext, and it's our favorite kind.
He's not just writing subtext in that awful literary way where both people
are talking in a mutually thinly veiled metaphor that's basically just a code.
No, in Pulp Fiction, they talk about hamburger.
They talk about coffee.
They talk about tomatoes, and pot bellies, and oral sex, and the Bible.
They talk about anything and
everything that has nothing to do with what's really going on.
Because what they're really doing is threatening and apologizing, and flirting,
and falling in love, and sparring, and opening up.
And the results speak for themselves.
Next up, we're looking at the all-time best verbal conflict.
Dialog that attacks and digs and dodges and parries and
goes straight for the heart.
Words as warfare.
Conversation as combat.
Think 'The Master.' - "Who's (Inaudible) you except for me?"
- Or 'The Lion in Winter'.
- You can expire.
- You first, old man.
- Or 'Doubt'.
- You have taken vows.
- Or 'Glengarry Glen Ross'.
- What is this courtesy class?
- You bet your ass it's all over 'The Social Network' but
for our number seven pick our favorite of Sorkin's psychological sadism
belongs to Steve Jobs.
- We're there.
- No, it's gotta a one and six change of working.
- God damn it.
- Well, we're not a pit crew at Daytona, this can't be fixed in seconds.
- You didn't have seconds.
You had three weeks.
The universe was created in a third of that time.
- Well, someday you'll have to tell us how you did it.
- Love it or hate it, Sorkin's writing is something to marvel at.
And nowhere is it more talky,
more play-like, more reliant on what characters say than here.
The conflict bubbles so turbulently just below the surface.
Always swirling around and constantly being dredged up by Jobs himself
who flies about like a conversational Juggernaut.
Arguing and threatening and
bludgeoning the people around him into the shape of the world as he envisions it.
Sorkin's dialog stages a war on many fronts while always connecting it to
Jobs essential trust.
For a result that is a frenzied whirl of a character
desperately clawing about in a fight for his own self worth.
On the other hand, the flip side of this kind of linguistic aggression takes us to
the calmer world of dialogue story telling.
Where the pleasure lies not in the conflict, but in the honest and
vulnerability of humans sharing their personal narratives.
It's 'The Big Chill'.
- Wise up folks, we're all alone out there.
- And 'Magnolia'.
- The past is not through with us.
- 'The End of Tour'.
- I'm sure that I still have those same parts in me.
- And,' Coffee and Cigarettes'.
- I know a guy, freezes coffee.
- But for our number six, there can be none other than 'My Dinner with Andre'.
- See, I've seen a lot of death in the last few years, Wally.
And there's one thing that's for sure about death.
You do it alone, you see?
That seems quite certain, you see?
That I've seen.
But the people around your bed mean nothing.
Your reviews mean nothing.
Whatever it is, you do it alone.
And so the question is when I get on my death bed,
what kind of a person am I gonna be?
And I'm just very dubious about the kind of person who would've lived
his life those last few years the way I did.
- 'My Dinner with Andre' is quite literally just a conversation.
There is no plot, no external conflict, no ticking clock.
Just two men with various disagreements, as men have, talking them through.
There is no character arc or grand reconciliation or great big epiphany.
The film is just talk, and yet It's utterly fascinating.
Written by the two actors distilled from months worth of their actual conversation.
It is nothing more than two men gradually, and
articulately revealing their inner selves.
At number five, we wanna reserve a spot for
dialogue that manages to feel as true to life as possible.
And sure it'll never be realistic because have you listened to real people talk,
its awful.
But with careful balance and compromise, an imperfection,
a talented scribe can achieve a subtle naturalism worthy of these list.
'Primer' is an excellent example of this.
- (Crosstalk) - As is 'End of Watch'.
- Shit, dude.
- The entire 'Before' trilogy.
- (Crosstalk) - Most mumblecore.
- (Sound) - And even 'Superbad', in parts.
- Yeah.
- And Kenneth Lonergan is hot as hell right now with 'Manchester by the Sea' but
we wanna turn new Lonerganians on to an older lesser known gem of his that's
flushed with this kind of dialog, 'You Can Count on Me'.
- So how are you?
- I'm fine Terry.
- So, how's Rudy.
- We're fine Terry.
How are you?
Yeah.
- The magic of 'You Can Count On Me' is that so much happens in the dialogue
without resorting to the extraordinary, the unbelievable or the melodramatic.
It is subtext but a tamer sort.
Deep familial conflicts of love and responsibility and respect and
dependability lie underneath the everyday topics of plumbers and car rides and
the quotidian how are you?
On the far opposite end of the naturalism spectrum,
we end up with the hyper stylized, uber suave, quick wit of banter.
Where everyone always seems to know the exact right thing to say.
David Mamet is sharp as a tack in 'Heist' and 'House of Games'.
- Let's talk turkey, pal.
- Woody Allen's is quick and frenetic in 'Annie Hall' and 'Manhattan'.
- People should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.
- And Scott Frank's take on Elmore Leonard is never better than in 'Get Shorty'.
- I don't say any more than I have to, if that.
- But for our fourth and
last slot, we're going with Shane Black, who was iconic in 'Lethal Weapon'.
- That's a real badge, I'm a real cop and this is a real (Inaudible) gun.
- Hilarious in 'The Nice Guys'.
- Excuse me.
I'm carrying a dead body and I have his schwanz in my face.
So I'm sorry I'm not Baryshnikov.
- You can't even say Baryshnikov.
- But never better than in 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang'.
- I want you to picture a bullet inside your head.
Can you do that for me?
- Fuck you (Sound) - Anyway, that's ambiguous.
- Ambiguous?
No, I don't think so.
- No, I think he means that when you say picture it inside your head, okay?
It that a bullet will be inside your head, or picture it in your head?
Like form an image.
- Okay, can you shut up?
- No, he's got a point. - Where Sorkin's characters always seem in
danger of destroying each other with their words.
Shane Black's are just slap boxing.
In Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is him at his quippiest,
throwing the most hilarious of shade in the cleverest of ways.
It's verbal slapstick.
Characters tripping over their own words in an attempt to prove themselves
smarter than each other.
Of course, that last slot was all Hollywood.
And while you may have noticed by now that we've limited this list to
English language films only, because we didn't feel properly qualified to evaluate
dialogue in languages we couldn't speak, English isn't only the purview of America.
The UK has their own special kind of banter, too.
You can find it 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'.
- That boy doesn't know his arsehole from his ear-hole.
- Trainspotting.
- They're just wankers.
- Withnail and I.
- They must be delighted with your career.
- And 'Hot Fuzz'.
But to our ears there's one modern master who stands above them all,
Martin McDonagh.
And while 'Seven Psychopaths' is a fantastic second effort our hearts
still belong to 'In Bruges'.
- Harry let's face it, and I'm not being funny,
I mean no disrespect - But you're a (Bleep).
You're a (Bleep) now.
You've always been a (Bleep) and the only thing that's going to change is,
you're going to become an even bigger (Bleep).
Maybe have some more (Bleep) kids.
- Leave my kids (Bleep) out of it.
What have they done?
You (Bleep) retract that bit about my (Bleep) (Bleep) kids.
- I retract that bit about your (Bleep) (Bleep) kids.
- You insulted my (Bleep) kids That's going overboard, mate.
- I retracted it, didn't I?
- While Martin McDonagh only has two features films to his name,
he's an accomplished playwright of the funniest,
darkest theater you'll ever read.
We personally recommend 'The Pillowman' if you ever get a chance for
the most hilarious take on child murder you'll ever hate yourself for laughing at.
And some of that sneaks over into 'In Bruges', too, because McDonagh goes dark,
he takes his comedy to the blackest of places.
And everyone in' Bruges' should be despicable for what they've done, and
for what they'll undoubtedly continue to do.
And yet, you love them for their cleverness, their humanness, and
their sense of the absurd.
But, banter isn't a modern invention.
And we want to take these last two slots to pay homage to its origins.
And in America, that means your noirs.
- What is your nationality?
I'm a drunkard.
- And your screwball comedies.
- Here, you better give me a receipt.
- I'll give you a scar.
- Your Houston.
- I mean you paid us more than if you'd been telling us the truth and
enough more to make it all right.
- Your Wilder.
- I'll say.
- Your Sturges.
- You find him, I'll push him.
- Your Lubitsch.
- Must you flirt?
- I don't have to, but I find it natural.
- Your Hawks.
- How do you like your brandy, sir?
- And a glass.
- However, we're gonna take it back one step further to some of the original
kings of banter.
The Marx Brothers and their brilliant back and forth of "Horse Feathers'.
- Who are you?
- I'm fine, thanks.
Who are you?
- I'm fine too.
- 'Animal Crackers'.
- You know conductor Hennessey, don't you?
- Inspector.
- Inspector yourself.
- And our number two pick, 'Duck Soup'.
- Not that I care, but where is your husband?
- Why, he's dead.
- I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
- I was with him till the very end.
- No wonder he passed away.
- I held him in my arms and kissed him.
- I seem, then it was murder.
Will you marry me?
Did he leave you any money?
Answer the second question first.
- While the screenplay was written by a handful of scribes over a handful of
years, the mouthful of dialog is distinctively brothers Marxist.
In an act refined over decades from vaudeville, to broadway, to the screen,
the Chico, Harpo, Groucho,
Zeppo combination was honed into one of the best comedy formulas of all time.
The type of banter they sling, rapid fire and nonstop is specific
to the wild smorgasbord of characters the brothers had created.
And 'Duck Soup' is probably the best incarnation of their particular brand of
madness and by God does it sing.
Finally for our number 1, we're tracing British's banter's origins to another
place and it's not to Mony Python.
- I'm your king.
- Well I didn't vote for you.
- Or James Bond.
- That's a Smith and Wesson.
Well, you've had your six.
- Or 'Kind Heats and Coronets.' - Said he wanted to improve his mind.
- He has room to do so.
- No, it comes from before all that, way before all that.
Our top scribe of our top slot goes to a young man by the name
of Bill who wrote some of the prettiest dialogue you ever did see.
He did it in 'Romeo and Juliet.' - Why then is my
pump well
- (Sound) - He did it in
- 'Julius Caesar'.
- He's a tried and valiant soldier.
- So is by horse, Octavius.
- And he did it in our top pick, 'Hamlet' - Guildenstern, Rosencrantz?
Good lads, how do you do both?
- As the indifferent children of the Earth.
- Happy in that we are not over happy on fortune's cap we are not the very button.
- Nor the soles of her shoes.
- Neither my lord.
- By then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favor.
They a private suite.
- In the secret parts of fortune.
Most true. She is a stumpet, what news?
- Are we cheating because this dialogue was originally written for the stage?
Sure, maybe.
But to separate the origins of cinema dialogue from theatre is disingenuine,
and likely impossible.
And the Bard is simply the goat, and Hamlet is even better.
If you haven't given him a shot since high school, do yourself a favor and try.
Try him on film.
His dialogue is so much more fun in the hands of and
mouth of a smart actor than it is on the page.
They can reveal the humor, the wit, the musicality, the subtext,
the emotion, the conflict, the humanity beneath it all.
And it hardly gets better than Kenneth Branagh.
There's nothing on this list that Shakespeare didn't do better and first,
which is why we think this is the best dialog of all time.
So what do you think?
Disagree with some of our picks?
Did we leave out any of your favorite dialog?
Think my voice sounds sexy and wanna take me out for a night of passionate romance?
Is anyone still actually listening?
God, I hope not.
Let us know in the comments below and be sure to subscribe for
more CINEFIX movie lists.