What the fuck happened?
Hey.
I asked you to deliver 10 episodes of your show by 9 a.m.
Yeah it's 9 a.m.
It's before 9 a.m.
9 a.m.
Tokyo time!
Before the markets open!
I can't do anything with these.
They are worthless to me.
You fat idiot!
Vivica, you know what I heard when I first met you?
What?
Boo.
What are you doing?
That's an ambulance, coming to take me away,
'cause the sight of you stopped my heart.
You have some nice moves.
Thank you.
You have some nice moves.
Nice moves.
Moves.
May I have this dance?
♪ Everybody dance now ♪
You better not go to sleep.
As soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you
square in the face.
I hope you stay still when you sleep,
'cause I'm putting a rat trap between your legs.
I'm gonna take a pillowcase and fill it
full of bars of soap and beat the shit outta you.
I want you out of my fucking house.
No way Ke-mo sah-bee.
This is my house now.
♪ La ♪
♪ La la ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ La la ♪
You know how I met Jo Bennett,
and got started on my ladder of success?
No, I don't.
I'm walking along, out of work, again,
thinking to myself, I only got enough cash
to buy a sandwich or get drunk.
And I see this guy trying to steal this lady's dog.
So I grab the dog, he runs off,
she's so grateful she hires me.
Aw, wow.
Gimme that dog.
That's not your dog.
Yeah.
Again.
Oh, okay.
Gimme that damn dog you (bleep) thief.
It's her dog.
Don't ever do it again.
You hear me?
You feel that energy?
Mm-hm.
Yeah?
Woo!
Yeah!
Okay, again.
Okay open your eyes.
Whoa.
See that black smudge right there on the blade.
Yeah.
Look at it closely.
Pretty recognizable signature.
No.
Randy Jackson from American Idol.
Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph
on a martial arts weapon?
'Cause I bumped into him and all I had on me
was this samurai sword and you're not gonna
not get Randy Jackson's autograph, right?
I would've done the exact same thing.
♪ Mothafuckin' grip ♪
♪ '93 was the year P-Dog came rippin' shit ♪
♪ Bouncin' out the belly of the beast ♪
♪ And still the same nigga ♪
♪ That was hollerin' fuck peace ♪
♪ But check it out it's the same old thing ♪
♪ Cause now the year is '94 ♪
♪ And ain't a damn thing changed ♪
♪ Niggaz still droppin' dead like flies ♪
You, me, inside.
(upbeat dance music)
Goodnight Mary.
(gasps)
Oh my God.
Oh my me.
How are you?
It's going okay.
Are you the lord?
Well, to you I am.
See technically you're in like this R.E.M sleep state
and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God,
some past authority figures, Sky, and your dad.
Basically your subconscious came up with me
to help you deal, dig?
Yeah.
Want a glass of water or something?
No I'm good.
I'm God.
Oh right.
Is this your stereo?
Yep.
- CD player huh? - Yep.
We don't have these.
Oh you don't?
(humming to music)
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
That song's about me.
I used to be obese.
Once you've conquered obesity,
everything else is easy.
Life literally moves in slow motion.
I'm not saying I'm Superman,
but, let me just put it this way.
If I were shot in the head,
I'm pretty sure everything would be fine.
I almost welcome it.
Let me tell you right now, I'll nail it,
I'll pull it off, okay?
Wait a second, why do you want this so bad Brennan?
Are you trying to get mom and dad
back together or something?
Why do I want this?
Because I wanna make bank, bro.
I wanna get ass.
I wanna drive a Range Rover.
(upbeat music)
(police siren)
Who's the biggest client in the state?
I say we go get 'em, whatever it takes.
What do you guys say?
- Yeah. - Yes.
- Right?
- Let's do it.
Or my other idea, 50,000 tiny clients.
Yeah, I say that we just go for it.
Is that ball lighter than usual?
Is that a China town knockoff?
That's Toys-R-Us I think.
No that's definitely knockoff.
You can feel the center of gravity's off.
Feel that.
What do you think?
Oh yeah, totally.
Jim you got ripped off big time.
D'Angelo.
See what I did there.
Oh that's what you need to do,
just add a little English.
The British are coming.
D'Angelo's open.
This is how we do it!
Dun da dun dun dun dun da.
Hey I never asked you.
You like guacamole?
Brennan!
Oh God!
Brennan!
(upbeat music)