- Today on Temu Tech,
we're gonna find some of the coolest,
most interesting,
and or worst gadgets
we can possibly get our hands on.
And, oh, boy,
is Temu full of weird, weird gadgets.
All right, here's one.
Rechargeable long range laser pointer
for night hiking.
Dude, if this is really-
Okay, it says it's insanely strong.
This seems like one of those things
that you get in trouble with
if you use the wrong way.
But I am a responsible adult
who would definitely not do anything
illicit with a laser pointer.
You know what?
I have looked the same.
The style has not evolved.
The kids are leaving me in the dust.
It's time to up my style quota
by buying a wig on this Mother's Day sale.
All right, I'm going silver gray on my hair.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hand-touchable
palm lightning sound speaker
music Tesla coil.
So we did a Tesla coil on Mystery Tech
three or four years ago.
It was kind of cool.
It looked a lot jankier than this.
For 37 bucks,
I'm down to play with some electricity
and potentially get thunder-shocked.
Uh-huh, uh-huh,
uh-huh, uh-huh, thunder!
Oh, no, no, no!
"Black technology to stop snoring."
Excuse me? What?
Intelligent snore arrestor,
snoring suppressor,
magnet, double pulse.
You put this on your chin
and it makes you stop snoring
by shocking you.
What the-?
I gotta stop doing this to myself.
Eyebrow stamp stencil kit.
What the hell is this?
Foldable mini-washing machine?
You get a $33 portable washing machine
so you can wash
your underwear and socks separately.
This actually seems
like it might be kind of cool.
Robot wireless speaker.
$13 portable little robot dude.
I mean, it's probably not
gonna sound very good,
but it's really cute.
It looks like an old Mac.
All right, my friends,
we've got a cart full
of weird and wacky gadgets from Temu.
So let's give it a few weeks
for this stuff to actually show up
and see if any of it is any good.
Boy, we've got a beautiful looking box here
with a very clear instruction to not open.
Are they calling me out here?
"Do not open."
It's like taunting me.
All right, let's see what we've got.
Oh, boy, that's a lot of stuff.
Okay, so first off,
we have the SY-G15
with detachable, domineering monster ear.
Rawr.
- [Ken] You could complete the package.
- What's the package?
Oh, good lord.
What?
Oh, I forgot I ordered this.
- [Ken] You're about to look
like a "Final Fantasy" character.
- I think I am.
Good lord, this is a wig,
in case you're curious.
This is a "oh my goodness wig."
All right, I'm about to become beautiful.
Wow.
Oh, good lord.
These are the ears.
- [Ken] Craig Federighi
about to give us the halftime report.
(Austin laughing)
- All right, so which way should my ears go?
Do ears go spiky side out,
or like, uwu side in?
So a problem I will immediately say
that I've tried
with some of these like really cheap headsets,
they've got on this little splitter,
the aux and the USB.
But for this laptop,
it's too far away
because the aux is on this side
and the USB's on this side.
So I can only do one at a time.
I'll look like a DJ.
Here we go.
I'll just pretend to be typing things.
(EDM music)
- [Ken] Okay!
That's not allowed.
- What?
2012 was fun, man.
Those headphones sound very mid.
Oh, no, not the lobster shoes!
I don't want them lobster shoes on my feet, man!
No!
I don't know why I ordered these things.
I do this to myself.
You know what?
They're just a couple happy little guys.
Oh, they're even bumpy.
I normally would wear socks and sandals,
but because you
Linus-loving perverts are out there,
I'm instead gonna take my socks off.
- [Ken] Oh, man.
- If you've ever wanted
the cutting edge
in lobster-themed attire,
then these are clearly the shoes for you.
What the (beep) is this?
- [Alex] Those are headlights
that go on Crocs or other slippers.
- Oh, my God.
Here.
How about I just hold one in my toes?
(everyone laughing)
That's gonna be the Wikifeet
screenshot of the day.
- [Joanna] I do not want the toe headlights.
- Well, you know what?
We don't always get what we want in life,
but sometimes, we do.
Ah!
Fingerprint padlock.
Don't need a key.
Lock picking lawyer,
your match has been made.
So this is a very high quality padlock
that has a self-developed chip.
Fingerprint unlock in under a second,
USB rechargeable,
and morse code for emergency.
It is quite heavy, I will say,
which is what a padlock should be.
The fact that this is not centered
is unbelievably irritating.
Middle fingerprint sensor.
How the hell did it know my fingerprint?
I teach you my fingerprint.
Like you would set up Touch ID or something.
Okay, good.
Green is done. Okay.
I will say,
the setup process
actually is very straightforward
and it makes sense.
All right, let's see if I can unlock it.
Okay, so that works.
- [Ken] Okay. Toss it to me.
So in theory...
- [Austin] Ooh, it turned red!
- [Alex] Yep, it's flashing red.
- Okay.
And then...
- [Alex] Eyy!
- This actually works!
I will still say, though,
it feels cheapy, right?
So like if you were buying this
to protect anything serious,
you could take a pair of bolt cutters or whatever
and rip this thing apart in no time.
Okay.
We've got a menagerie
of phone-related accessories.
We've got a 200x smartphone microscope
that we're also gonna pair that
with a 36x telephoto lens
and 150 millimeter F-scope.
What's an F-scope?
So we'll start with the telephoto lens.
So it does come with a little tripod.
- [Ken] That's actually very adorable.
- It's legitimately like a decent little tripod.
And then we've got ourselves
a little phone mount too.
This is actually like a proper little kit.
I was expecting nonsense.
- [Alex] It should be.
That is the most expensive thing we bought.
- How much was my telephoto camera?
- [Alex] $45.
- $45?
That's actually not unreasonable.
Aww!
Actually that's legitimately kind of cute.
So we're gonna attach this here.
- [Ken] So, you're doing it wrong.
- Oh, what?
That's never happened.
I've never done anything wrong
a day in my life.
- It's on the box.
Look at the box.
(Alex laughing)
- Ohh!
What?
Zoom in on the back of the-
- [Ken] That looks so funny on your phone.
(everyone laughing)
Austin Creeper Evans out here.
- [Alex] With the hair and everything.
- You wanna be in a YouTube video?
Heh-heh-heh!
All right, I'm gonna look at the back of the set.
Okay, so there's the little scale.
Can I get that in focus?
Oh, I can get it in focus!
Actually, wait a minute.
Honestly, this is a little bit of a vibe.
So for reference,
you can see where this is.
Watch how far away it is.
(fart sounds)
That's how far away it is.
This thing's legitimately pretty neat.
So it definitely has
a minimum focus distance
of like 20 damn feet.
But it does work.
It's a little finicky.
It's a little hard to actually use.
You need to rely on the tripod.
And the weight of it,
it does this.
So, I mean,
I've tightened it down
almost more than I feel like I should.
It might start to crack
for too much longer.
This is really neat, though.
Like legitimately really fun.
Okay, so this is a microscope.
Now, I think all of the things I've got here,
they don't need apps or anything.
They should just work with my phone.
I will say,
I used a microscope like this a long time ago,
but it wasn't for phones.
It was actually like a USB microscope,
which is neat for Mystery Tech.
I think I just clip this on.
I really don't think there's anything to it.
- I'm gonna give you something to-
- Whoa!
The ocean and the stars in your eyes.
(Austin mumbling)
Wow.
We're gonna start recording.
Okay, so I'm gonna get closer and closer.
Whoa, that's actually kind of cool.
- [Ken] Bro, I gave you a whole.
- Oh, you mean like to actually open it?
Oh, I'm gonna do the box first.
It looks all blurry and everything, right?
But as soon as you get nice and close,
look at the detail.
Air more, air less, air right.
I have no idea.
This quicksand painting.
Oh, look at that.
How neat?
Wow.
This is a beautiful piece of art.
It's somehow too far away.
I think because there's that layer of glass.
The optics are meant to be
literally right on top of something.
What else can I show?
Let's look at Roboraptor incredibly closely.
Wow!
- [Alex] Is he made of Nokia phones?
- [Austin] No!
He's got all these veins in his eyes
I've never noticed.
Look at that.
Honestly, these kind of things
work surprisingly well.
Me and Mr. Monkey Boy
need to figure out what is inside this F-scope.
What do we got here?
Well, something in a carrying case.
What did I buy?
Oh, yeah!
My ding dong 9,000.
(everyone laughing)
Whoa!
There's so many of me!
Who wants one of us
when you can have all of us?
(Austin creepy laughing)
- [Alex] You know what else
you can do with that?
- How many items do we have in this episode?
We've got UV lights.
Oh no.
I mean, this is a blue light,
black light filter.
We've had this couch for a long time.
Let's see what we got here.
- [Ken] All of the stains.
- [Austin] Ooh. Ooh.
Actually-
Oh, we got something!
We got something!
There's some stuff on this couch
that looks a little suspicious.
These look like bits of fuzz.
All right, what is this other item?
All right, laser pointer.
Oh, it says right here on the box
that's in front of my face.
Okay. All right.
Oh, this is a big boy.
Oh, it's got a little lens cap.
That means it's a big boy.
- [Ken] Oh, my God.
- Ready, set...
Oh, my God!
- [Ken] Oh, whoa!
(Austin beatboxing)
This is gonna probably help the hair even more.
- [Automated Woman] Okay, for sure.
- [Automated Kid] So this is one of those
Bluetooth zappy Tesla coil speakers.
- If you're wondering why
my audio sounded weird over there,
that's because I'm trialing dubbing.
So we've got a couple of little neon lights,
and I have an electricity needle.
Boy, those are words
that should not go together.
Don't want that.
- [Ken] Looks like a mini disc.
- It looks dope, is what it looks like.
Look at that. Wow.
Set up the electricity needle.
Okay, so I'm just gonna screw that in.
Okay, so everyone who's afraid of needles,
this was an electric one,
so it's probably even worse.
Jesus Christ!
(disc speaker snapping)
Hit me with a beatbox, Ken.
(Ken beatboxing)
(disc speaker snapping)
- [Alex] Encore!
- Yay!
Dude, that thing is so cool!
Now the last thing to do here,
short of being DJ Austin all day,
is to actually play some music.
'Cause if I Bluetooth to this,
it'll actually play the music on the electricity.
(disc speaker playing music)
- [Ken] Oh, there we go.
(disc speaker playing music)
- Boy, we just spent like an hour
playing with this thing.
It is so cool.
These microphones
probably aren't doing it justice.
It's not like a 16-bit song,
it's not like an 8-bit song,
it's not like a 4-bit song.
It's like a 2-bit song.
It is such a basic level of like.
(Austin screeching)
But you get into it,
especially if you find something
that's actually been properly designed for it.
It kind of works, man.
That's cool.
- [Ken] Speaking of electricity.
- Ah!
Don't hit my electric needle, Ken!
Snore circle.
How dare you?
How dare you,
even though I know that I was the one
who ordered this like three weeks ago?
Oh, good lord.
Oh, my God.
- [Ken] It looks like headphones.
- [Austin] Look at the electrodes
you put on your throat!
(Ken laughing)
- Seems pretty simple.
Put it on and shock away.
- Ah!
- Oh, it already did it?
- It zapped me. Okay.
- [Alex] You're not even snoring yet.
- No, no. I felt it.
Like as soon as-
Ah, ah, ah!
My throats moving!
- [Alex] Oh, we found a way
to keep him quiet!
- This thing actually kinda works!
Stop it!
I feel like my neck muscles are moving
without my permission.
(everyone laughing)
This is the robot speaker.
It's a robot, speaker.
Behold.
Oh, he actually is really cute.
He's got posable arms and legs too!
That's legitimately adorable.
And USB-C?
Be still my heart.
(Sea Shanty 2)
- [Joanna] It never gets old,
except for when it does.
- This actually doesn't sound bad.
- [Ken] It's loud.
- It is surprisingly loud.
(90s hip-hop music)
(Austin laughing)
This is great. This is great.
Temu, keep it coming, man.
Keep it coming.
This is legitimately
better than your phone speaker.
It's so cute.
You could put it on your backpack.
You could just have it as a little guy.
How much was this?
- [Alex] $13,48.
- $13?
- [Ken] That's cheaper than most
small cube Bluetooth speakers.
That's great.
- Yeah.
I didn't order that.
Did I order that?
There's no video evidence of me ordering that.
I would never have ordered something like that.
(everyone laughing)
Multi-function folding washing machine.
Please read the instructions carefully
before use.
When I read this,
I initially thought
it was gonna fold my clothes for me,
but then I realized,
oh, no, it's just a washing machine that folds
and it's significantly less cool.
But let's give it a try nonetheless.
Wow, that's actually very small.
And that's it. Okay.
These instructions are all in Russian.
Both sides are Russian.
All right.
Okay. We're activated and on.
- [Ken] It has the same sound as a PS5.
- Okay.
So I'm gonna put it into 2 minutes
semi dehydration homey mode.
Boy, it's so much bigger
than I ever imagined it could be.
- Dirty clothes.
- Okay.
- And water.
- I think I need more.
This is not enough water.
Okay, so there is about
one bucket-full of water in here.
I'm gonna close it.
Let's hit the button.
(washing machine rustling)
- [Ken] Actually, do open it up.
Yeah.
- [Alex] It lights up.
- It sounds like I just hit rewind on the VCR.
- [Ken] It's just doing its thing.
- It's just a little happy guy.
- [Alex] Eyy!
- All right.
We'll see how my clothes are.
I don't really know what I expected.
(everyone laughing)
And I'm pretty sure it was cheap.
How much did I pay for this on Temu, again?
- [Alex] $33,88.
- You know what?
33 bucks, actually not crazy.
I mean, it's very limited.
You're gonna be putting in like, a shirt.
You couldn't even put a pair of pants in here.
I think it's too small for that.
But, for some underwear,
some basic little things,
don't wanna go to the laundromat,
and Ken has a massive sock collection
that he needs to keep clean at all times.
Temu, you never fail to surprise,
delight and shock me
with the weirdest gadgets
I think I've ever seen.
These are incredible.
And if you would like more Temu
directly to your subscription feed,
subscribe and ringling that dingling button.
I'm gonna wash my wig now.
Oh, it feels so good!