- Boy, I've got a special delivery for you.
That's it, all right now give me that precious look.
I like the, work the dolly, work the dolly.
Work the umbrella, come on work the umbrella.
Kinda screw around there, that's it, that's it.
Give me that, a little more precious, got that.
No, that, that's the money, that's the money.
Yes, okay, good, cut, your tie's a little crooked there.
Okay, just a little... - Like this?
- No, no the other side, here let me get it.
Here, it's going so well, yeah that's better.
Now I want you to let all your
natural charm just seep out, huh?
- Okay, yeah.
- Man are you firm, wow.
Workin' out huh?
Nice traps.
- Huh?
- Nice traps.
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
- How about we get back to the calendar there?
We've got some juveniles to save huh?
- Wow, that's a lot of boy.
- Yeah.
- Doug, I've got to level with ya.
There's no juveniles.
- No juveniles?
- No juveniles, no juveniles, no calendar, just you, me.
(deep breath)
And a whole lot of sexual tension.
(audience laughter)
- Hey Phil.
Oh, hey Doug.
- Hey Glenn, I gotta tell ya, I love the
way your garden's been lookin'.
- What do you mean?
The heat wave killed almost everything.
(audience laughter)
- But less is more, you know?
Hey, who's this handsome fella, huh?
Look at you. - This is Sparky.
You like dogs Doug?
- No, I really don't.
I love 'em. - Oh.
(audience laughter)
(Phil laughs)
- Do you have a dog?
- No, I don't but I'll tell ya, if that one was as cute as
this one, I'd pull the trigger in a second.
- Well you can have him.
- Come again?
(audience laughter)
- Sparky isn't mine, I volunteer at the animal shelter and
I'm just keeping him for the weekend.
(audience laughter)
So what do you say Doug?
Is there enough room in your heart?
(audience laughter)
- Here's your toast Doug.
Now are you sure I can't interest
you in a nice turkey omelet?
(audience laughter)
- I'm stickin' with the toast, thanks.
- Mr. Boots for the last time, stay out of the butter.
(audience laughter)
Oh.
- Just to get the feel of breathing underwater, I'm gonna
ask you to put your regulator in your mouth.
Let the air out of your... (audience laughter)
And float gently down to the bottom, take a couple of
breaths down there and then just come right back up.
Okay?
You three first.
(audience laughter)
- He loves the water.
(audience laughter)
Doug?
(audience laughter)
- Douglas, aren't you gonna introduce me?
- [Doug's Inner Voice] Noooo. (audience laughter)
Hmm?
- Aren't you gonna introduce me?
- Oh, god how rude of me, I'm sorry this is Arthur my
father-in-law, Arthur this is,
Well this is just one of the coolest
people here at the firm.
(audience laughter)
She's a great gal.
(audience laughter)
- [Doug's Inner Voice] Think of something, think.
- Ah god.
(audience laughter)
- Oh my god, he's having a heart attack.
- Mr Heffernan, can you describe the pain?
- Ah yeah, it was pain just shooting down my right arm.
- Well heart attack would be pain
shooting down the left arm.
- I meant my left, I said right for
you, I switched it around for you.
(audience laughter)
- Just hang in there, all right?
We'll be in emergency room in a minute.
- Baby, I love you, I love you.
Please be okay.
- Don't worry, I'm faking it.
(audience laughter)
- What?
- I'm faking it.
(audience laughter)
- What?
- What, hello you're through.
Okay, you're out of our lives.
♪ Margie girl, my heart's in a whirl tonight ♪
♪ I need you bad, oh Margie ♪
♪ I need you so oh Margie girl ♪
♪ Before we met nothing in my life was right ♪
- Okay, you finished it.
♪ But all that changed with Margie ♪
♪ You blow me away, oh Carrie ♪
(audience laughter)
(gate rattling)
Peace.
(audience laughter)