12 Most common traits of cheaters
12.
Narcissism- Most of the time cheaters are narcissists, or at least share a lot of qualities
with them.
They are greedy and selfish, and often only think of themselves.
A narcissist usually feels that they are entitled and will do whatever they have to feed the
narcissistic supply.
This is generally used in a negative way, describing a pathological or excessive need
for attention and admiration that doesn’t take into account the feelings or opinions
of other people.
Narcissists are self-absorbed, just care about themselves and lack empathy, which is what
makes it possible for them to cheat and have affairs without feeling guilty.
Narcissism is a disorder fuelled by an inflated sense of self-importance.
This makes it easy to see how this would play into the notion of cheating.
People who suffer from narcissistic tendencies or the disorder itself have a severe lack
of empathy and think very highly of themselves.
This means that while most of us consider other people's feelings, the narcissist will
often neglect emotions and just care about their own feelings.
While other people might refrain from cheating because they don’t want to feel guilty or
hurt their partner, a narcissist is too busy thinking of the reasons why they should cheat
instead why they shouldn’t.
Many people avoid cheating mainly because of the guilt they would feel, but a narcissist
doesn’t really experience that guilty feeling.
11.
Overly flirtatious- A sign your dating a cheater is that they are excessively flirtatious.
Not all flirts are cheaters, some people are just naturally flirty or like the attention,
but most cheaters will probably display overly flirtatious behavior at some point.
This is mostly because of internal issues that the person has, like jealousy, insecurity,
or the need for attention.
Flirting with someone other than your significant other gives them some validation within their
relationship.
Most cheaters tend to tease right in front of their partners while playing it off as
just harmless fun.
Most of the time people who do such things while in a relationship also have sociopathic
or narcissistic tendencies and don't take their partner’s feelings into consideration.
They might say their flirting is harmless but what their doing is hiding their cheating
tendencies right in plain sight without even realizing it sometimes.
If you accept your partner’s flirtatious behavior, to them, it’s like giving them
consent and letting them know it’s okay.
So just be cautious not to expect their behavior to improve when you're not around, most likely
it will be much worse.
10.
They’re insecure- Many cheaters have become the way they are because they're insecure
about themselves.
It’s often due to lifelong emotional scars from their past relationships that they can’t
help but spread to their partners.
So despite the fact that their partner is attractive, their insecurities might cause
them to act out just because they feel they don’t deserve you and fear that their partner
will eventually leave them.
The fear of being lonely or abandoned they tend to accept attention from people outside
of their relationship.
It might seem like those with insecurity issues would work even harder to keep their relationships,
often they carry on with outside relationships to fill the void and make sure they never
feel alone.
9.
Highly deceptive- Obviously many cheaters have problems with telling the truth.
They are most likely to possess sociopath and narcissistic traits to make it so much
easier for them to cheat on their spouse without feeling ashamed or guilty.
This is a huge advantage for serial cheaters because while the average person might feel
bad after cheating, a cheater can cheat on someone and look them in the eye like nothing
ever happened.
Being numb to shameful feelings is what makes it easy for someone to cheat on a regular
basis.
If you're unsure whether your partner has these traits, a good way to figure it out
depends on how often you catch them lying to other people, and if they seem guilty about
doing it.
If they don’t then it’s likely that they don’t feel bad about deceiving you either.
8.
They are excessively needy- Cheaters are extremely needy.
They might want your time, money, energy, attention, and affection, or more than one
of those.
Their insecure nature makes them act out to receive attention.
For example, some cheaters who have insecurity issues might exaggerate an illness in order
to get you to take care of them or want you to buy them something to prove that you truly
love them.
The sad part is, no matter how much you do for somebody they will never be fully satisfied,
and once you find out they cheated on you, they will blame you for not doing enough for
them and move on to the next one.
The problem with these types of people is that they seek validation through the eyes
of others and like to be praised by others.
So when you are not validating their existence, they start to feel unimportant and will usually
seek out validation from others other than the person they're dating.
This doesn’t mean they're going to cheat on you because you didn’t compliment their
new haircut, but if someone else happens to do it, they might feel attracted to that person
for noticing something you failed to notice or mention.
7.
They’re highly attractive- Being physically attractive is one of the top ways cheaters
keep a stream of victims.
Whether most people will admit it or not, most of us are most likely look the other
way or forgive a cheater if you're too busy drooling over them to be upset.
Studies have shown us that women, in particular, are more likely to cheat based on the element
of attraction.
Up to 44% of women actually said this as being their reason for infidelity.
This doesn’t mean it’s okay or acceptable to cheat on someone, but the world’s most
valued cheaters are usually highly attractive and with the terrible feelings that are associated
with cheating, just being able to be with someone so beautiful is enough to make most
people take the risk.
6.
Thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies- Another common trait that is found in people who cheat
are thrill-seeking behaviors.
Of course, there's plenty of people out there who enjoy extreme activities and getting a
dose of adrenaline while staying committed to their partners, but the thrill-seeking
tendencies are associated with the traits of recklessness in that people who seek thrills
enjoy being in dangerous situations.
So pretending to be in a committed relationship while secretly getting with other people might
be their normal pattern instead of a one-time thing.
If this is the case, the person will most likely get caught up in situations and pretend
not to care or try to change, but in reality, they are just playing a game that involves
cheating and getting caught and trying to make up for it.
If the person your dating is often caught up in hypothetical situations, they are most
likely doing it on purpose, and they take out the time to participate by getting upset
and forgiving them, you are giving them what they want and they’ll think they can continue
that behavior.
5.
Questionable morals- People who are serial cheaters often tend to have a questionable
moral compass.
The definition of cheating means deceiving one or both of your love interests, solely
just for pleasing yourself.
Not all cheaters engage in reckless behavior, a lot of them tend to also enjoy some kind
of negativity in their lives in general.
For example, a closet cheater, which usually somewhat of a decent person, might talk bad
and trash talk about others.
They might pretend to hate drama, yet you’ll notice they refuse to disassociate themselves
from the source of the drama like they get some pleasure out of it.
So you might see they are numb to empathy and remorse when consequences happen for others.
4.
Addictive personality- A very common trait amongst people who cheat have highly addictive
personalities.
This can be for a number of different reasons.
People who have addictive personalities, in general, are prone to becoming hooked on intimacy
and the intense feelings that go along with it can be similar to some kind of high.
Therefore no matter how much they're getting from their partners, they will always go out
looking for more because they are never satisfied.
On the other hand, using narcotics or alcohol on a regular basis also lowers our inhibitions
which make a lot of people more likely to cheat.
That’s why the club scene is notorious for being the hookup central to find all kinds
of romantic outlets even when you shouldn’t be looking.
Long story short if your partner is always going out and getting drunk there’s a good
chance that they're going to use that time to cheat and attempt to blame it on the alcohol.
3.
Opportunistic- Being highly opportunistic means while most people enter relationships
with the intention of finding our soul mate, the opportunistic cheater enters a relationship
based on what that person can do for them and what they can benefit from them.
This type of person will make you feel vital to their life when they're getting what they
want from you, but once they no longer need you, or come across something better, they’ll
simply leave you in the dust.
You might be taking great care of your partner and treating them like gold, and they may
still cheat on you with someone who has more money or more to give than you do.
They’ll know when they can get away with cheating.
For example, an opportunistic cheater might use a death of a family member or loss of
a job to step outside of the relationship.
2.
They’re secretly miserable- To make it simple, most people who cheat are miserable, and they
don’t let it be known, but their not truly happy.
Their either unhappy with themselves and their life, or the relationship or both.
A big thing is the insecurity issue, they never feel good enough or attractive enough
and always worry if their partner is going to come across someone better.
This takes a toll on you after awhile.
If they're not happy, they’ll find someone else who makes them feel worthy instead of
working on their own issues.
It can be something as little as someone smiling at them or making small talk; the person might
get lucky simple because they felt inadequate at the time.
Instead of taking time to themselves and working on their problems they blame their partner
for not meeting their needs, and they usually turn to cheating as a result.
1.
Their biggest fear is being alone- Lastly, one of the most common traits of cheaters
is the fear of being alone above all other things.
You might think that cheaters would be faithful and make a point to be on their best behavior
to maintain their relationships, but unfortunately, it’s just the opposite.
Instead of trying their best to be true they often jump right into infidelity because they
think the relationship isn’t going to last anyway and want somebody else lined up and
ready to take your place when it ends.
Another reason this happens a lot is because they like to have someone to confide in and
comfort them when their relationship gets rocky.
All of these issues are within the person themselves, and they have some deep rooted
issues only they can fix.
So rather than putting their all into a person, they start a pattern of spreading themselves
too thin to ensure they are never left alone for long.
The irony is, this is the exact reason why their lovers end up leaving them alone.