New York City.
It doesn't run itself.
And with the primary about to happen,
I thought it was time I talk to the candidates
running for the greatest job on earth:
Mayor.
Put your dick back in your pants please, sir.
I wanna get to the heart of the matter
and see just how New York these New York candidates are.
And who better to give the test than someone
not from New York.
You're a true New Yorker. - I am.
- New Yorkers love their pizza.
Is there a pizza topping that sings to you?
- Well, you know I'm having the pepperoni.
- Mine's pineapple.
- Are you kidding?
- It is.
Speaking of pineapple,
how would you address the problems facing the MTA?
Can you tell me what it means
when the subway announcer goes
(muffled noises)
What's the intercom strategy?
- How bout an intercom that actually works?
- What?
That's just crazy.
You are radical. - I am.
- But you can't beat New York pizza.
Sbarro is the best.
Have you had it, in Times Square?
You speak about having a greener New York.
Are you prepared to clean up New York,
but only on Mondays at 7:00 am and every other Tuesday.
- We can actually have a greener New York.
Imagine if there were actually trees on every block.
- The only green I see in New York
is the water in between the subway tracks.
- Oo, that's not a good look.
- I founded the New York State Federation of Taxi Drivers.
And I represent over 30,000 of those men and women
that drive 18 hours a day for a living.
- New York City.
Famous movie "Taxi Driver," Robert De Niro.
Gimme your "are you talking to me" impression.
- You talkin' to me?
- OK, now gimme that impression,
but he's bankrupt because of Uber.
- This city ripped me off.
You know, Mayor de Blasio took my money and ran.
- Are you still doing De Niro?
- Yes. - OK.
- I relate to that movie
only because cab drivers go through that every day.
Cab drivers are hardworking people.
- How did you get here today?
- I drove!
- Your favorite New York City movie moment.
What comes to mind?
- Oh, you know, I- - I'll tell you mine.
Mine is the rom com where the hero realizes
that New York City public schools are segregated.
But the love interest doesn't want the schools to change.
And the hero sees that the love interest isn't gonna change.
And that people, even liberals, don't change.
And then the wedding is canceled,
and love as both families see it doesn't exist.
And, sorry, what was I talking about?
- I have no idea. - Schools.
- Oh. - How do you plan
to desegregate New York City schools?
- If it discriminates, it's gone.
- That's a great educational platform,
but that really takes the rom and the com out of the romcom.
And while these candidates differed in opinion
on many topics, like how to dance,
everyone was pretty much on the same page
when it came to cops.
- I'm talking about taking some money away
from the most bloated police budget in the world.
- We're spending a lot of our public resources and dollars
asking police to do jobs we don't need them to do.
- I want more cops, I want law and order.
- How many more cops you want, Fernando?
- Few thousand.
As many as it takes to get our city back.
- If we add even more,
you could have police policing police.
- No. - It could be like
a stop and stop and frisk and frisk.
You could have a cop stopping and frisking another cop
who's stopping and frisking a Black person.
- No, I think you're going way beyond
what it really is about.
Our city is in shambles.
- Do you really want this job?
- Yeah!
- This is the worst job!
Do you really want all of this responsibility?
- I wanna create a new New York City,
one that lives up to the rhetoric
of being the greatest city in the world,
so we can all actually do better.
- You wanna make a lot of change.
- I do.
- And if there's one thing New Yorkers love,
it's total change from something they're used to.
Like when your subway stop changes,
you can feel the excitement in the train.
- Yeah. - You're on the way out,
right? - I'm on my way out.
- Would you mind if,
if you just, as a former sanitation commissioner?
- Well I'll take it, but you aren't very good at recycling.
- Thank you, Kathryn Garcia, she gets it done.
- Mixing paper with plastic?
This is not proper recycling, but OK.
- If you win, can I reach out to your office
about just some little ticky tack issues I've had,
like boots on cars,
and there was a open container thing on a subway.
I accidentally burned down the roof of my apartment.
There was an intoxication violation I got.
I was at a Mets game.
I'm a Tigers fan.
It's embarrassing.
I was on the jumbotron, everybody saw it.
- No. - No.
- Great, well then why are we doing this?
Look, pretend these cameras aren't here.
This is a bit of a waste of time, isn't it?
A Republican candidate
trying to win for New York City mayor?
- We will win.
We will win!
We won five terms!
- Oh, there's a hot dog cart. - We will win!
- Holy s**t. - Yo Kosta,
yo yo yo, Kosta, let's talk about my candidacy!
- Can I get a hot dog, please?
Thank you. - Oh, come on,
look at this guy.
These Democrats, he's gotta be a Democrat.