- SO I JUST SAID CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE ENGAGED. YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED SOON.
- YEAH.
[cheers and applause]
- DO YOU--DO WE KNOW HOW SOON?
DO YOU KNOW--DO YOU HAVE A DATE?
- I KNOW HOW SOON, YEAH. [laughs]
WE HAVEN'T REALLY SHARED THAT, THOUGH.
- OKAY, WELL, THEN DON'T SHARE IT.
BUT WHO'S DOING MOST OF THE PLANNING--YOU?
- NO, NO. I'M DOING WINE-TASTING.
HE IS--SECRETLY, THIS IS, LIKE, HIS PRINCESS MOMENT.
HE HAS WAITED FOR THIS FOR A LONG TIME.
HE'S BEEN HOARDING BRIDAL MAGAZINES.
HE'S VERY READY.
- LIKE, REALLY, LIKE, EVERY ASPECT OF THE WEDDING PLANNING?
- EVERY ASPECT-- ASPECTS I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WENT INTO WEDDING PLANNING, HE IS ON.
- LIKE WHAT?
- TO HAVE A CENTERPIECE; TO NOT HAVE A CENTERPIECE.
HE HAS VERY STRONG OPINIONS. - DOES HE WANT A CENTERPIECE?
- NO CENTERPIECES.
WHO CARES? HE DOES.
- BUT YOU JUST SAVED SOME MONEY RIGHT THERE.
- YEAH.
NO, HE'S VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT THE MUSIC
AND THE GUEST LIST.
- IS IT BIG?
- I THINK PEOPLE ARE THINKING IT'S A LOT BIGGER THAN IT IS.
THEY'LL FIND OUT WHEN-- - WHEN THEY'RE NOT INVITED?
- EXACTLY.
[laughter]
- AND DWAYNE IS YOUNGER THAN YOU, RIGHT?
- YES, YES. - HOW MUCH YOUNGER?
- NINE YEARS. - NINE YEARS.
[cheers and applause]
WHY ARE WE CLAPPING FOR THAT? WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?
YES!
- [laughs]
- AND DO YOU SEE DIFFERENCES? DO YOU NOTICE?
- THE BIGGEST IS, LIKE, FOR MUSIC.
SO, LIKE, I WANT THE OJs TO PLAY AT OUR WEDDING.
HE WANTS YOUNG JEEZY.
YOU KNOW, LIKE, I'M LIKE, OOH, PATTI LABELLE.
AND HE'S LIKE, ARIANA GRANDE.
LIKE, I'M--WE'RE-- IT'S NIGHT AND DAY.
- WOW, AND HE GETS UPSET, I HEARD--
THAT HE GETS UPSET WHEN YOU DON'T KISS HIM GOOD NIGHT?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, WHY DON'T YOU KISS HIM GOOD NIGHT?
- I MEAN, THE PLAN IS, YOU KNOW.
BUT IF WE'RE WATCHING, LET'S SAY "NASHVILLE,"
ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SHOWS, I MIGHT DRIFT OFF.
THAT'S ONE OF THE DOWNSIDES OF DATING AN OLDER GAL.
WE DRIFT OFF.
SO I TRY.
I'M LIKE, IF I CAN JUST MAKE IT TO 11:00...
- YEAH.
- I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T DO IT.
- SO HE'LL WAKE YOU UP TO KISS YOU GOOD NIGHT OR SOMETHING?
YOU CAN'T HELP IF YOU FALL ASLEEP.
- YOU DON'T WAKE UP AN OLD SLEEPING GAL.
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW THEY SAY LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE.
LET OLD SLEEPING BROADS LIE.
IT'S SOMETHING.
- SO AS YOU FEEL YOURSELF DOZING OFF,
YOU HAVE TO IMMEDIATELY LEAN OVER AND KISS HIM BEFORE YOU--
- LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY. - YEAH.
- BUT YEAH, HE'S-- - WHAT A HASSLE.
YEAH, THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE.
LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY.
AND HE'S HUGE.
HE PLAYS FOR THE MIAMI HEAT, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS.
DWAYNE WADE.
UH, AND HE'S HUGE IN CHINA. YOU JUST WENT TO CHINA.
- I DIDN'T REALIZE HE'S, LIKE--
HE'S LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER IN CHINA.
I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.
I'M LIKE, "THEY'RE NOT EVEN GONNA KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BABE."
I MEAN, YOU DO WELL IN THE STATES,
BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THAT TRANSLATES.
"WADE! WADE!"
- WOW. - YOU--YEAH.
OH, I WAS NOT PREPARED. "YOU'RE SO SEXY, WADE!"
[laughter]
THEY LOVE THE SKINNY JEANS OVER THERE.
THEY LOVE HIS MAN-PRIS.
THEY LOVE ALL HIS CRAZY FASHIONS.
- WAD-DAY. - WAD-DAY.
- AH. - WADE IS HUGE, APPARENTLY.
- AND I HEARD-- THIS IS A HILARIOUS STORY.
YOU WENT TO A KARAOKE BAR...
- OH, WE HAD A LITTLE KARAOKE RACISM--
OR SO WE THOUGHT.
SO WE'RE AT KARAOKE.
THEY--YOU KNOW, THEY TAKE US TO THIS PRIVATE ROOM.
AND IT'S A GROUP OF PROBABLY, LIKE, TEN BLACK PEOPLE.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
WE'VE GOT SOMETHING WE KNOW YOU'LL LOVE."
AND WE'RE LIKE--YOU KNOW, WE'RE THINKING BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE,
MAYBE A LITTLE BOTTLE OF VODKA.
THEY COME BACK WITH A PLATTER OF WATERMELON.
- UH-HUH.
[laughter]
- WE WERE LIKE, "UH..."
AND SO NOBODY WANTED TO TOUCH THE WATERMELON.
[laughter]
SO AND THEN AFTER A MINUTE, AND, YOU KNOW, WE'RE SINGING.
YOUR VOICE GETS A LITTLE PARCHED.
- [laughs]
[laughter]
- IT WAS THE MOST DELICIOUS WATERMELON
I'VE EVER TASTED IN MY LIFE.
AND APPARENTLY IT'S A GIFT.
LIKE, WATERMELON ISN'T--
IT DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME RACIAL CONNOTATIONS.
- RIGHT, SO WATERMELON IS BROUGHT TO EVERYONE,
BUT YOU, FOR SOME REASON, TOOK IT AS...
- IT FELT A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS... - YEAH.
- WHEN THEY WERE LIKE, "WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE."
[laughter]
"WE KNOW WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR KARAOKE
"FOR YOUR HALL & OATES MIX.
"I KNOW WE'VE GOT JUST THE THING.
SOME DELICIOUS WATERMELON." - THAT'S HILARIOUS.
AND I LOVE THAT AFTER A WHILE YOU'RE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT.
I'M JUST GONNA HAVE SOME."
- AND WE MURDERED THAT WATERMELON.
IT WAS SO GOOD. - YEAH.
DID IT TASTE BETTER THAN WATERMELON HERE?
- IT WAS LIKE SPECIAL CHINESE WATERMELON.
I DON'T KNOW. - WOW.
I WANT TO GET SOME CHINESE WATERMELON.
- SPECIAL NONRACIST CHINESE WATERMELON.
- YEAH, RIGHT.
OH, MY GOD.