Life is a train station, and we as people, are the trains;
people getting on and off at different times every day, every week, every month, every year...
People will walk in and out of our lives
in the same type of way they board and exit a train.
Some people stay on for a long ride,
while some only go for a short stop or two.
However, we're more affected than the average train by people coming and going. As
a train you're only expected to power on and keep chugging along.
It seems easy to go on without stopping, and it's tempting for us to try doing it, too
but
we're people not trains. It's actually not that easy.
Sometimes it's hard to power on to keep going and chugging along...
Sometimes we have to stop and cool our engines a bit before we can keep going.
When someone who meant a lot to you gets off, it hurts!
You can ignore it.
But, ignoring the pain only prolongs it. And to confront it might cause you even more pain than you've ever felt in your life!
But is it worth it to experience all this if you could eventually find solace in the end?
If it meant you could,
Let it go...
Letting go is one of the hardest things in life. I
am a firm believer that people come into your life with a purpose. And, once that purpose is fulfilled,
they will inevitably leave.
Sometimes, people are in your lives for good reasons, and maybe it will seem that they leave too soon.
But maybe it's the departure that is the true purpose,
the true lesson that they have to offer you.
There are different types of letting go: the type of friends and significant others leaving, and that of death.
But death is to be discussed at a later date. I
have had to let go of a lot of people throughout my life, especially since starting college. I
have been in and out of different relationships that have each dramatically changed me as a person.
These experiences and people have shaped my values and beliefs,
challenged what I thought to be true, and made me realize some hard truths about myself and about others.
The first person who changed me significantly
was a boy.
Let's call him "Jason" whom I talked to for about a year. He
was one of the first people in my life whom I considered toxic;
he was selfish,
Illogical and honestly just a horrible person!
No matter what I said, he would disagree with me just because he could. He would never admit when he was wrong;
even if it made him look bad, he would ask for favors
that would only benefit himself and would even make me go out of my way to do them, even though
I never would receive the same kind of favor in return.
You may be asking yourself, "Why would I keep talking to this person?
This is obviously an abusive friendship and not the way anyone should be treated!" Well,
the reason I kept trying to talk to him was because he was the first person
to show interest in getting to know me deeper...
Like a true best friend. I never
experienced that before.
We would have great conversations, and he would be there for me when I was falling apart.
My freshman year of college was the first time I had to confront the possibility that I might have depression.
Having him around felt great because it meant I had someone to help me up when I was down,
someone wanted me even though I had felt broken beyond repair.
I was so caught up with that feeling that I almost wasn't able to see how manipulative
he really was and when I did, it crushed me. I had to distance myself
and it hurt because I thought he cared
but he was using me and taking advantage of my kind heart.
I had never experienced a situation where I was the one who had to end the relationship:
That what the lesson "Jason" taught me. He's just one example of the people I've had to let go in my life
The one thing I have learned though, is that if a person is compromising who you are as a person,
forcing you to change your fundamental beliefs without your permission,
then you are better off without them.
If they make you feel guilty for being yourself, for disagreeing with their opinions that they take for a fact,
for telling them how you feel?
Then, they don't deserve to be in your life.
Now, I
understand that letting people go is something that has to happen sometimes, and it will hurt.
But, not as much as it would if you continue to associate with that person. In
the long run, it's better off to distance yourself from those people instead of sticking around and letting them hurt you. And,
whatever you do,
don't lose hope. The right people will come into your life,
they might just not have found you yet.
So if you recently realized the "friends" you thought you had we're not good for you? That's okay.
Don't think that you're alone in this world, because you're not.
Your people are on their way.
They may even be sitting next to you
and you don't even know it. Don't be afraid to reach out and try to make new friends. Although
it's scary, and the fear of reduction is strong,
the worst case scenario is if they don't stick around,
they weren't meant to stay in your life, and that's okay.
You're narrowing down the potential possibilities for your true friends and loved ones. I
hope these things help you realize that it might not be our fault people leave after all,
it might just be the people around you. You don't deserve to be treated as anything less by someone else because you deserve the BEST!
And sometimes that best is only achieved by letting someone leave your train station and letting them go on their way. And
the thing that isn't always realized is
that's okay.
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