Today's the day that I hit 100 thousand loyal subscribers on Sexy Confidence.
And because I wouldn't even remotely be here without you, I want to share some lessons
I've learned along the way that can help you on your journey to success.
1.
Lesson number one, quitting is not always a failure.
Usually it's a stepping stone to something much, much bigger.
Now, Ill never forget the day that I said, "**** it, Im done."
I was working for a startup software company as a lean 6 sigma and balanced scorecard implementation
consultant.
And if you have no idea what that means, then it's cool.
I'm kind of with you.
Now I'm on a business trip to visit one of my biggest clients that I'd ever worked with.
I was with the CEO of the company who was my boss's boss's boss's boss, and my CEO decides
to go into this meeting and lie to my client and tell them things that were complete bullshit.
And after that meeting I sat down with my CEO and I told him, "**** you.
I'm never working in this industry ever again."
It was at that moment that I set my trajectory to being a professional speaker and a dating
coach.
Sounds a little crazy, but it's true.
2.
Lesson number two, don't be entitled to success.
Add value first, prove yourself, and good things will come.
Now, we live in a time when everyone wants to be the next big thing but no one wants
to work for it.
You've got to get off your ass and do something.
Get off your ass and do something whether it's finding love and getting that healthy
relationship you want or it's finding that job that you absolutely love and that you're
passionate about, or it's getting into shape.
Whatever it is, it won't just come to you.
You need to get off your ass and go make it happen.
I remember before I got my first paid speaking engagement, my first actually making money
giving a speaking engagement, I gave over 30 speeches across Massachusetts to just get
enough video to be able to submit so I could get some paid speaking video.
You've got to give value before you get value.
3.
Lesson 3, you[re going to suck at anything the first time you do it.
Now, I remember the first time I finally got my first speaking engagement.
It was 500 bucks, it was more than I'd ever gotten before.
I'd never got paid for speaking, so I was pumped.
And after I gave the speech, I thought it was actually pretty good.
I was feeling good about it.
I actually got a call to go into the principal's office and I felt like I was back in my freshman
year of high school.
He was telling me that it was the most inappropriate speech that he'd ever heard and that I was
not supposed...
I'm not the type of person that should be speaking at high schools.
I was inappropriate, I was dressed inappropriately, and I should really give up on my career.
4.
Lesson four, find your support systems and mentors.
Now, there's really only been a handful of people who really stood by my side over the
past few years as I've put this together.
It's my mom, my dad, my brother who has mentored me and supported me every step of the way,
and as of recent years my girlfriend, Jessica.
Now, the reality is anytime you're doing something big in your life, most people are going to
make fun of you or they're just really not going to understand what it is that you'e
even doing, so they're going to kind of stay away.
Now, if they don't understand you it's ok.
Don't even waste your time explaining to them what it is you're trying to do.
Just move on.
If they make fun of you, then **** them.
Let them enjoy their lame lives while you go off and do something a little bit crazy.
5.
Lesson five, destroy your comfort zone.
If you're doing something really big in this world, you're not only going to be just stretching
your comfort zone, you'll be absolutely demolishing it.
I think about all the times that I had a big speech or before I got on a video... in front
of a video camera, no one knows how many times that I puked before those speeches.
No one knows how many times I've been so nervous before a video that I was absolutely shaking
or when I was coaching men, having to go up and approach a woman in front of a guy that
I was coaching, these are the things that absolutely destroy your comfort zone.
And this is the case for anyone who does anything significant in their lives.
They're going to have to just leave their comfort zone home and do something really,
really big with their own lives.
6.
Lesson six, don't be afraid to shift courses even if you're getting successful.
Now, I remember I was at a point where my business was absolutely blowing up when I
was coaching men.
I had a ton of coaching clients.
I had some guys paying me over 10 thousand dollars to work with them, but I didn't see
a future in it.
I realized that did I really want to be spending the rest of my life teaching guys how to go
out and meet women?
No, I didn't.
You know, I wanted to have my own healthy relationship and not be subjected to doing
that every single weekend.
So I decided to shirt course and that's when I decided that I was going to really dive
into coaching women, working with women, take all the knowledge that I've accrued over the
years to helping women be able to meet men and find love.
And that's really when I started to dive into Sexy Confidence.
7.
Lesson number seven, if you shift directions you're probably going to start sucking again.
Don't quit.
Now, remember when I started Sexy Confidence I left this amazing business that I had created
for coaching men and I had decided that I was going to start all over coaching women.
And at first I was a little cocky, I thought this was going to be an easy process.
But ultimately I was starting over.
I was starting with a whole new gender, women, trying to understand exactly what it is that
they want to learn about, what it is that they want to hear about, and that was a whole
new process.
And I've got to admit, when I first started creating videos for women I sucked and these
things didn't exactly go viral, not like my stuff did with men.
You know, I got to a point where I had to even downgrade my life a little bit, I had
to sell my Harley Davidson, I had to downsize my living.
I even had to stop drinking for a month, and that wasn't for health reasons, but because
I couldn't afford my bar tab.
I had to downsize everything because financially I just couldn't even carry myself because
it sunk so much into this process.
But whatever you do, I always have that vision of what it is that I was trying to create
and I kept forward to make that happen.
8.
Lesson number eight, listen to feedback.
The only way to succeed at anything in life is to know without a shadow of a doubt that
you know nothing.
Listen to the people that you serve.
If you're in a relationship, listen to your partner.
If you are trying to lose weight, listen to your trainer.
If you're trying to start a business, listen to your customers.
Don't give them what they... what you think they should have.
Give them what they want to have.
You know, read the comments, listen to the complaints, learn your weaknesses, improve
on them.
You know, if you don't think I'm reading your comments, I'm reading every single comment
to really learn how does that improve every single video?
9.
Lesson number nine, stay committed to your vision.
As things were starting to ramp up, you know, I got over 8 television inquiries to be a
host, I had so many opportunities to just stray away from the vision, but I looked at
all those as being total distractions.
Just stayed consistent and built Sexy Confidence into what it is today and will continue to
build Sexy Confidence into the vision I see it for tomorrow.
10.
Lesson number ten, never assume that success will make you happy.
It's the journey.
Now, I look back and, quite honestly, the most fun days, the most exciting days, were
creating those stupid videos back in my shitty apartment with, you know, mice running around
my feet and, you know, having no money, nothing but just a vision, you know.
Or getting on stage in front of thousands of people but being absolutely terrified because
I had no idea what I was doing.
You know, those were the fun days.
You know, I'm still having fun today, but those were so exciting.
And what I caution everyone to do is while you're trying to build something great, while
you're trying to succeed, enjoy the moment, enjoy every single step of the way, because
once you arrive at success it's not going to always be as sweet as you think it will
be and it's all about the journey.
So I want to say thank you to everyone watching this video and to everyone who has continued
to watch my videos over the past few years.
I'm going to continue to serve you and continue to make Sexy Confidence the highest quality
platform in the world for women to create the love life that they love.
So in return, I need you today to take that one step toward any success in any area of
your life whether it's dating, relationships, health, wealth.
Whatever it is, I need you today to make a comment right there below with your own commitment
to stepping forward, to stepping outside of your comfort zone, to doing something really
big with your life.
Have that **** it moment right now where you're going to do something really huge in your
own life.
Make that comment right there below.
And you know what?
I've got to say, if I could do this, if I could build this, you can do whatever it is
that you want in your life.
Because you're the type of person who believes in self development, you're the type of person
who believes that you can do anything, that's why you're here.
That's why you've been watching Sexy Confidence this whole time.
Because whether or not you've been watching it just to get a boyfriend, to keep a great
relationship, or ultimately get married, or if you're just doing it for yourself to feel
great about yourself, you're here because you want to improve yourself every single
day.
And, I've got tot tell you, that's something very rare.
Not many people do that and not many people will take the time out of their day to learn
something new.
So now is the time, now is the time to find that thing that really excites you, that you're
passionate about, that you want to do with your life, and go make it happen.
I'll be here every single step of the way and I will be here to support you, I'll be
here to guide you, and I want to thank you so much for being here and guiding me every
single step of the way.
This journey has been incredible and it has only just begun.
Thank you again and I'll see you at 1 million subscribers.