Got me thinking,
What's it like to deal with narc co-workers?
Bosses? Working with them?
How do you survive it?
I'm breaking it all down in this video,
So, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung,
I am an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I teach you how to deal with the dreaded narcissists and
if that sounds amazing to you,
if you want to be the most powerful and persuasive person
in any room into which you walk,
please feel free to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
So, I just was reading about a brand new book that just came out,
It's called “Ticking clock”
It's written by this guy who had worked with
all these really, really talented people.
The guy's name is Ira Rosen and
he worked with Mike Wallace, with Diane Sawyer and
he worked with Chris Cuomo and Katie Couric and
he worked with these people that he called talented a-holes.
Let's see, he started in 1980, he was 26 years old,
he worked with then Mike Wallace
who he was like amazed with working with and
he goes on to say “Hey, I learned a ton from him,
but he was extremely volatile and toxic”
He describes how he would grab papers and
throw them at him and fistfuls of documents and
hurl them into his face, and curse at him,
it was astonishing verbal abuse,
is the way that he actually describes it.
He describes him as being actually abusive.
So, he's got this new memoir that just came out, and
he talks about him,
he also talks about Diane Sawyer and
it just actually got me thinking about
How do you deal with these people in
a workplace environment? or in any career situation?
It talks about Diane Sawyer and
how she could kiss your cheek and
then be quite the backstabber.
I mean, who hasn't dealt with that?
It talks about Katie Couric and
how she thought she was smarter than all of us,
that she would pick fights with colleagues,
get your blood moving, all sorts of things.
Let's see, Chris Cuomo disrespectful,
Chris Wallace really, really interesting and mean and
so anyway, it just got me thinking about
what it's like to work for narcissists.
I have been there. I've worked for a couple myself,
not fun, not fun, but I'll tell you this
I mean early on in my career,
I worked for a couple of narcissistic lawyers.
The way I dealt with it is
I knew that I was working for people who
were actually very talented and it sounds like,
that's what I arouse and did as well and,
he actually goes on, at least in this particular article that I read,
which happens to be in the New York Post and
I haven't read the book itself,
but I happened to read this article about the book and
it seems like he goes on to say,
“Hey, I learned a lot from these people” and
that's what I decided I did too and
I think sometimes you need to decide,
“Hey, I'm in a good situation, I'm learning a lot,
I'm going to take the good with the bad” and
maybe that's going to be your situation,
however, if it's a really abusive situation,
that's stealing your soul, and
you feel like I can't do this anymore,
then, perhaps, you need to look for a different job.
One of the things that you can do as well is
do the things that you need to do,
in any situation with a narcissist,
which is document, document, document, document.
Make sure that you are taking notes,
that you are responding in appropriate ways and
by the way, I do have a whole video on
how to respond to narcissistic texting,
which if you get a text from them,
you want to respond in an appropriate way,
definitely check out my video on that topic,
so that you know how to respond in an appropriate way.
Make sure that you are doing that, don't get emotional,
don't allow yourself to be sucked into the emotion of it,
they do like to trigger you,
I would definitely not stay in a situation
for longer than you need to,
unless you think that it's serving you
or serving your career in some way.
You do have to have a certain amount of stamina
when you're dealing with those sorts of people and
you do have to sort of think about it, in terms of okay,
I'm making a choice to be here,
I’m making a choice to be here,
because I know that I'm learning,
I know that I'm going to be able to put this on my resume,
I'm going to have a certain type of skills
that I'm going to be able to transform,
going to be able to take somewhere else,
that sort of thing.
I mean, you think about people that maybe worked
for Steve Jobs at one point and they go,
Okay, I had that opportunity, I got to do that,
so, if you can endure it because that's what you're doing,
then, that's your choice.
But, you have to understand that
you're choosing that at that moment,
but for the most part, I would say don't do it for very long,
have your boundaries,
you can use your 50 key phrases to disarm narcissists,
which I have in my S.L.A.Y program,
which you can certainly get,
if you are negotiating with a narcissist,
you can certainly grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com,
make sure that you aren't getting sucked into
being triggered by them,
not allowing yourself to be put in a situation
where they're gaslighting you,
by saying things that you know didn't happen,
that's what happens, they'll say, “Oh, we talked about that”
they’ll say, “No, we didn't have that conversation”
you avoid that by making sure that you send confirmatory emails,
send confirmatory texts, keep your documentation,
so, that you don't allow yourself to be sucked
into those sorts of things and just say,
“I'm not allowing you to speak to me that way”
“That was disrespectful”
you can always say certain things like that as well and
just try to keep your boundaries.
Sometimes, use your bartering techniques as well,
which is kind of fluffing up their ego
so that you can get something,
give them something that they want,
so you can get something that you want in return,
which is a little something that
I also teach in the S.L.A.Y program.
So, those are just a couple of the things that you can do
to kind of maybe survive the situation while you're in it.
If you are in it for a period of time,
I would just say don't stay there very long,
if you just choose to stay there,
understand that you're choosing to stay there for a reason
because you're going to be learning something,
getting something out of it, getting some value from it.
But anyway, brand new book out,
apparently about talented a holes.
Sometimes that happens I guess, with people and
they get full of themselves.
I haven't read the book,
not certainly saying go read the book,
because I don't know.
But anyway, saw that article and
it made me think about what's it like to be negotiating and
dealing with people in the workplace and
I thought it would be a good opportunity
to remind everybody how to deal with that
in a way that's productive.
So, you can grab the free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
You can also join my free private Facebook group
at “Narcissistic Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
If you are so ready to beat them in a negotiation,
I'm so glad that you stopped by,
make sure that you like this video,
give it a like, give it a share and
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subscribe, hit that notification bell,
I am so glad that you stopped by and
remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.