hello everybody Welcome to story time
I'm pear and this is orange
orange are you here Shrek yeah I am
gross but I do appreciate your
enthusiasm for today's story Shrek
ogre the moon about today's episode
well since you're so excited maybe you
should take the lead on this one I
couldn't agree more
orange you don't have hands exactly
so I'm confused do you actually know the
story or don't you yes yes to which
option correct
yo do you know the story of Shrek or
don't you what are you saying oh I all
I'm saying is this and once upon a time
in a land Far Far Away there was an ogre
named Shrek he seems green and farted a
lot and um there's a lot of mud and bugs
involved and uh dude you don't remember
anything about Shrek just admit it I
remember that he did an awesome opening
Montage so that one Smash Mouth song you
know somebody once told me don't remind
me
somebody once told me
bugs mud farts farting bugs just classic
anyway it was a super awesome way to
start the movie and then a bunch of
other awesome stuff happened I think it
was a gingerbread man at one point and
they live happily ever after
hold on who lived happily ever after
Orange what's that now I asked you who
you're talking about it feels like you
don't actually remember any of the
specifics no no no no no no I totally do
I didn't know you were gonna go all
RoboCop on me about filling in the
details jeez okay so
um maybe you'd like to talk about
Princess Fiona and how she was kept
locked in a tower oh yeah totally
princess Leota Fiona that's what I said
yeah yeah so Princess Fiona was locked
in a tall tower but had super long hair
people could climb up wrong princess I
mean she uh pricked a finger on a
spinning wheel wrong again she ate a
poison apple
she wore a dress uh that's technically
not incorrect I'm
yes oh yeah well then tell me what
happened next easy next was another
awesome Smash Mouth Montage no sign body
once told me
do you really not know any other lines
to that song if I knew them would you
want me to sing them good point anyway
after an encore Smash Mouth Montage of
Shrek eating bugs and farting and
slinging mud and farting in mud and I
don't know probably farting on bugs we
got introduced to another important
character and that character's name was
Lord Farquaad because it's tight that's
his name oh I knew that and Lord Sparkle
snood really liked this one song that
went somebody won orange
just kidding but not really because who
doesn't love that song dude can I take
over the story now or what why would I
just let you take over I'm just getting
started because now that we've met the
main characters it's time for a bunch of
fairy tale stuff to happen okay maybe
you do know the story of Shrek of course
I do so first Shrek bought a dragon and
defeated him by pulling a sword out of a
stone and then throwing mud at the
Dragon and also farting on a no
then Princess Fiona went for a walk in
the woods to her grandmother's house but
when she got there it wasn't actually
her grandma it was the band Smash Mouth
this guy that's her grandma orange
somebody enough you're done dude but we
haven't even gotten to Lord fart knob
Farquaad fart nard Farquaad well
whatever his name is he had some kind of
scene with a gingerbread man and his
nose grew every time he lied and when
someone asked if he liked Smash Mouth he
said no and you know what happened no
somebody got stashed when his clothes
extended that's what cause that song
rolls it everybody knows it somebody
once told me
so tell me orange who wound up living
happily ever after in the end yeah
everybody everybody okay well maybe not
everybody but I'm pretty sure it worked
out for somebody
don't yell over the closing Smash Mouth
Montage pair you're missing the best
part
you know I want to be mad at you for
desecrating a really great movie but if
I'm being honest your humor level is
basically on par with the real thing you
butt or believe it
[Music]
[Applause]