hello, my loves!
welcome back to lavendaire~
i want to talk about the concept
of connecting with our future selves
how do we use this image of our future self
to bridge the gap between
who we are and who we want to be
and how does this concept
of the future self help us
appreciate the present moment so much more
before we get started
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i started reading this book lately called
become your future self now by dr. benjamin hardy
and there's an exercise that i really liked
that i wanted to share with you guys
imagine yourself 20 years from now
and you had the opportunity to go back in time
and relive the present moment
that you are living today
relive it in this current body in the state
and you can make choices in your life
with perspective of you are 20 years old older
so i am 32 right now
20 years into the future
i would be 52 and if i had the opportunity
my 52-year-old self going back
and living in this 32-year-old body
what would i do and how would i relive my life
take a moment close your eyes
and imagine how you would feel
if you were 20 years older
but living in this present body
what would you do?
how would you approach life differently?
this exercise is meant to give you perspective
that we are going to get older
and it gives you perspective to be grateful
for all the things
that you have in your life right now
and it also helps you have this mindset
of living to the fullest with no regrets
when i think about what i would do
or how i would feel if i were 20 years older
back into this current body
number one,
there are so many things i would be grateful for
i would be grateful for
my family at the current age
that everyone is at right now
the current stage of life
that we're all in right now
super grateful for togi
i would hug togi tighter
because in 20 years he probably won't be here
and just appreciating the home i live in now
cause i know that will change
and appreciating my youthful body, right?
my young energy that i have
i can still move fluidly
there's just so much that i have right now
that i can enjoy
i would appreciate my friends even more
cause i know that changes as as you get older
i also feel that the older you get
the less you care
you can be yourself, you can have fun
as i get older i'm just releasing
all of those things that held me back
and so if i could imagine
what my mindset would be then
and living in the current body
at the current age that i am now
i think i would just have no regrets
i would just go for whatever i want to do
don't be shy, just be bold
say what you want
do what you want to do
wear what you want to wear
enjoy just having fun with everything, right?
your self-expression
create what you want to create
there's literally nothing holding you back
i want to share this quote that also supports
this exercise this is a quote from
victor frankle he said
"live as if you were living already
for the second time and as if you
had acted the first time as wrongly
as you are about to act now"
he's just saying that we make
a lot of mistakes in our lives
sometimes we don't take the chances
we don't go for it because we're too afraid
we let fear hold us back
and later on, down the line
we might regret these choices
live as if you had made the mistake
and you grew older
and then you had a second chance
to relive this life that you have
then you would relive it with much more gratitude
and much more
how do i say this
more boldly and daring
don't be afraid
just do the thing confidently
go for it
be confident in yourself
have fun
make friends, travel
do the thing
go on adventures
just do everything
because life should not be wasted, you know?
this is an exercise where you can
time travel in your mind
but the reality is, we're always getting older
and we are always
the youngest that we will ever be
we should truly be grateful for the phase
that we are in our life and truly be grateful
for the capabilities we have
if you did this exercise
i'd love if you could share
down below in the comments
what would you do?
how would you feel if you got to live your life
a second time and you were at the current age
that you are now
let me know down below
if it helps shift your perspective in any way
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next let's talk about
bridging the gap between your current self
and your future self
a lot of you who know about
my artist of life workbook that i sell on my shop
know about this current me vs. future me exercise
that i've done for over a decade
essentially i do it every single year
and it's a doodle where on one side of the notebook
i draw my current self
what she's feeling, what she's doing,
how her life looks like at the moment
and then on the other side of the notebook
i draw my future self
where i just put all the notes of
what does that life look like?
how does she feel
what is she doing
who's around her
doing this exercise allows you
to visually see the gap between
where you are and where you want to be
it's okay to be real
where you are could be
really ugly, really messy
i've been there, right?
and then where you want to be
could feel so out of reach
it could feel so
just imaginary, unrealistic and that's okay
i honestly think it's good to set
big unrealistic dreams
the magic of this exercise though is that
as i continue doing it year after year
the gap between my current self
and my future self started
getting smaller and smaller
like i was bridging the gap, right?
when i first did this exercise in i think 2012
it was such a wild gap
and it was hard to even know
how could i become this future self
she's so different from who i am now
it's so out of reach
but baby steps, little by little
somehow i took the steps
to get closer and closer each year
to that ideal future celf
let's talk about how to begin bridging that gap
when you do this exercise
and you have the visual laid out in front of you
of your current self and your ideal future self
then you can start to look at where
it is possible to practically bridge the gap
cause there are things that are going to be
practical and things that are just
a matter of taking the steps
to get there, right?
if you have a goal of
"i want to save this amount of money"
then all you have to do is
work backwards from that
okay, how much do i need to save at
a time every month or every year
to have that much money saved
and if you have a project,
say "i want to write a book" right?
then you just work backwards from there
okay, when do i want to have this done by
and then you work backwards
you break down the goals
how you would do with any other goals
but some things are not exactly practical
they're more just subjective
where you look at that ideal future self
and you're like,
"i have no idea how i'm going to make that happen"
right? it could be just something
that you don't even know what the steps are
don't worry about those for now
let me tell you about something else
another aspect to help you bridge the gap
between your current self and your future self
is becoming that identity of the ideal future self
this is part visualization part manifesting
in law of attraction
once you know what your
ideal future self looks like
once you know all the details
get as specific as you possibly can
cause once you have it all laid out in front of you
then you could just act the part
you could just pretend
you know people call it pretending, delulu
whatever you want to think it's just becoming
stepping up into that identity, right?
so i'll give you an example
let's say my current self is wearing sweatpants
she's not very confident
she just feels sluggish and lazy every day
she doesn't feel motivated
but her ideal future self is confident
likes dresses, likes really fashionable
and and she's really motivated in life
yes, there might be achievements
that our future self has made
that you have no idea how you're going to
make happen but that doesn't matter all that
what matters is how that future self feels
and how that future self shows up in the world
that future self shows up with confidence, right?
she's not afraid
she goes after what she wants
that part is really simple
because all it really is a belief
and a mindset shift
it's a perspective shift
all you have to do is imagine
that you are already that future self
and that you already feel confident
and this is the delulu part, right?
where you might not really
feel that on the inside
but you try your best you dress the part
you act the part
and you just go put yourself out there
and you do the thing
even if you feel scared and insecure
it's that saying, "feel the fear but do it anyway"
the more you can step into that identity
of the future self
the more you're going to become
that future self because you're literally living it
if you're literally living it
then your brain is going to start to believe
that this is the person that you are
your brain starts to shift
your concept of your identity
our concept of our own identity
is something that is so malleable
i think that is like a secret
that most people don't realize
that they could tap into
you might believe that you are this way now
and that you'll be that way forever
but no, you can just change your mind
on who you are and then you can
just be someone else else
it definitely helps to dress the part
you know, people who cosplay
or if you put on a costume
or if you wear a ball gown
it just makes you want to like act elegant
when you look the part
you kind of feel the part
imagine you are just the actor
playing that part
but the more you play that part
the more your brain believes that's true
and the more your brain shifts
into that new identity
and as you know, in manifesting
once you believe that you are already there
the universe willing bring
the right opportunities to you
like your new life is going to look
more and more like that ideal future self
the more that you can believe that
that is who you are
there's another one of my favorite
future self type of exercises
that i've shared in a video of mine years ago
but it's a vision exercise
i believe it's called "vivid vision"
i'll link the video here and down below
you can watch that video
and go deep into that exercise
but essentially, that exercise is just writing
a journal entry as your future self
you lean into the future, right?
and the first time i ever did this
was probably around 2012, 2013
and i kept all those notes
i transcribed it on my phone
from my journal so that i can come back to it
i went back to read it recently
and these were things that i wrote
before i started lavendaire
before i even knew what
i was doing with my life, right?
it's crazy how when i read
what i wrote back then
so much of it aligns to my life now
and it's it's just fun to see
your dreams come true
as cheesy as that sounds,
just an excerpt my career is
perfectly aligned with my purpose
as an artist, i empower people
and make a positive contribution to the world
i am a media producer artist and personality
i write eloquently make good music,
beautiful and inspiring videos
basically create awesome
world changing content
i know branding and marketing
i have built a community around me
and spend my time sharing
my lessons and ideals with the world
in influencing everyone around me
i spend half of my time being creative
and the other half outside,
meeting with and connecting with people
that super positive energy i get
when things are happening
and i'm meeting inspirational people as well
i know it might not sound surprising
because so much of this is what i do now
with my life but back then,
i was not i was not doing this
i just knew that i wanted to do something
along these lines but nothing was materialized
i just was a fresh grad out of college,
trying a bunch of random jobs
and that was that
anyway, before we wrap it up today
i want to let you know that
we have a launch date for our
2024 artist of life workbook
this is the workbook that i come out
with every single year
and the current me future me exercise
is in here as well
as the vivid vision exercise
and the new version has
an updated goals section
it will be slightly different
from last year's version
but if you love doing exercises like this
if you love to set goals,
connect with your future self
and become the person
that you've always wanted to be
this is the tool to do it
alright, so this will launch on
october 18th at my shop
i'll link everything down below
if you subscribe to our email newsletter
you get first access to shop
when it releases
i hope today's video was helpful
and that it helps you connect
better with your future self
sending you so much love
and I'll see you in the next one
bye~