S: ♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-duuuunn... Ikea! ♪
M: It's the Utfart!
S: So it's Day Two of us in Sweden, we finished our fan meeting yesterday and we met a bunch of lovely nasties
and today we have the whole day to explore, so obviously, the first thing that we're going to do
is go to Ikea!
M: Ikeaaaa!
S: OK, love, it's very important you and I - hey hey hey, both, hey, come here for a second
this is very big and we're going to get very lost
and you have to make sure that whatever you do, you always hold onto my hand
because if not, we'll get lost, we'll never find our way out
they supposedly have very bad reception in here, so our phones won't be able to save us
So do you understand, Ducky?
M: Yes!
S: OK, so - Ducky!
S: Ducky come back here!
M: It's time for... Both: Wonderful Adventure Now Ikea!
S: The Bingo Sheet Edition
S: Oh yeah!
M: This is pretty awesome, I can't believe we have these same costumes in Korea
S: I know, exactly, isn't that cool?
M: I feel like we need to dance in Myeongdong in these
S: ♪ Ba na... ba ba ba ba na ba ba ba na! ♪ M: Ba ba... ba [licking noise] ♪
M: I've always wanted to do that to you S: Well you know what... [beeping noises]
S: Hey hey, not the nipples! Never the nipples!
M: Don't hit me in the face with your little tiny hands!
[nonsense noises]
S: [to the tune of Jaws theme] da na... da na... da na da na da na da na... da na na! Da na na! Da na na!
Both: [laughing]
S: Invalid shooting mode! You broke it!
M: Suzee, Leigh - you guys can't come into Ikea so have fun in the ballpen!
M: Bye guys, I'll pick you up later!
[cheery music]
M: And why did you get two tarts AND a chocolate ball, mister?
S: I got one tart! M: What's this?
S: It's a chocolate ball - it's coconut, it's healthy!
S: Oh man, I'm so happy to be here... [M: Yeah?] can I live in this building? Hire me, give me a visa.
S: So Martina, how is the - [dramatic noise] - What the - ?
S: You barely even shared any with me!
M: Come to Ikea, and enjoy the delicious cinnamon buns
You'll be guaranteed to share it with no-one - but yourself
Ikea... helping me win at bingo, by making...
cheesy commercials of food that I'm eating
[bell sounds]
M: And I honestly did not share any of that cinnamon bun
M: [laughing] double not niceness!
S: Martina's a dick! [Martina laughing]
S: If there's a bingo sheet for you being a dick you'd win right away
S: So Martina didn't realise this at the time I said it because she was crying onstage
but I got everybody in the audience to say "ohh you so nasty" on camera
S: On the count of three, I want to hear you say "ohh, you so nasty".
[audience laughing] S: You ready? One! Two! Three!
Audience: Ohh, you so nasty!
[bell sounds] S: Yeah!
S: I had that all planned, all along.
M: Did you really, or did you just think of it at the last second?
S: No, I literally thought of that like before.
[Martina growling]
[upbeat music]
S: [high pitched] Unt, they laughed at me when I opened up the E-prop shop... boo hoo hoo, boo hoo hoo
S: [Normal voice] Come to Ikea where you can see the E-prop shop...
...and also Simon's cheesy commercial, which will go on the bingo sheets.
M: What? S: For the E-prop shop!
S: Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!
M: No, Simon. S: I thought it was just make a cheesy commercial.
M: Oh, oh no, Simon.
S: I mean uh... oh, I can't.... uh... M: Oh no.
M: Mwa ha ha lalalalala!
S: What are you doing?
M: Oh me? I'm just taking pictures with one of the members of the deer, elk
and apparently shirt-wearing animal committees [laughing] what is this all about?
I believe our bingo sheets said take a picture of one of the venison family.
M: Yeah. S: I don't think that's a deer.
M: That's totally a deer. S: That's just an overgrown mouse.
M: This is totally a deer. This is a deer. Look at it. S: Okay M: Look at its little deer, bambi legs
M: Let's see if he can walk. If he can walk, then he's not a deer.
M: Totally a deer.
S: I think you're right.
[bell sounds]
M: Nailed it.
S: Ohhhh! M: I just need one more here! Uh oh.
M: Then I can open this one up!
[cheery music]
M: Simon. S: Ikeaaaaa! M: Look... they have Ikea beer.
S: Ikea beer? Time to get Ikea drunk.
M: Just buy everything. Look at the desserts they have!
[cheery music]
M: So did you get a plate for yourself? S: We're sharing!
M: Uh uh, no-one said that. Who bought this? I bought this, so...
S: We bought this.
M: I believe I bought it.
S: Hold on, I gotta show a meatball.
S: You're losing.
S: Come to Ikea, and eat a meatball and get drunk. M: No! No! Lalalalala.
S: This is my cheesy commercial for food. M: No, it doesn't count, it doesn't count.
S: Of course it does. M: It doesn't count because I ruined it.
S: Just because you interrupted it. M: Of course it does! S: Doesn't make it any less cheesy. M: You're lying.
S: You're such a sore loser. M: I'm not a sore loser!
M: Actually I got ID'd. They were like, how old are you young lady?
I'm like, I'm much older than drinking age... I'm seventy-five.
Yeah, that's really cheap.
No, you're going to do a commercial, I can feel it.
S: Can I just drink, in peace?
M: Ok, go for it.
S: Ikea... [Martina laughing] where you can drink in peace... beer cheesy commercial time
S: ♪ na na na na na na na, went to Ikea, and we bought lots of stuff ♪
♪ for Spudgy to pee on ♪
S: We've got towels and bathmats, and Spudgy's going to pee all over that.
M: We pretty much picked up some animal stuff that was very important to me.
S: Very, very important.
S: Thank you Ikea for being so wonderful. M: Ikea!
[stereotypical European music]
both: [something] my bananas... hey hey!
M: Ducky, I'm gonna do the Lucifer -
meep meep meep meep meep meep meep -
- I picked the wrong dance. Okay, wait.
♪ na na na na na na na na na na na na ♪
Ok, wrong dance again.