Hey, I'm Danny and I
Kill animals.
Ah, what what did you just say?
Oh, sorry, excuse me. Nah, not for food
-Uh
Like I kill animals for no reason
that's...
worse!
Okay. Okay. Let me explain one day while I was in second grade~
nO
NO NO!
thE INTERNET
HATES
your songs, DANNY!(lies)
but I just wanna be famous
Just do a story time animation instead
people e-
people eat those up!
n0m 4x
-but I've never done one-
TOO BAD
but... change is scary...
Maybe this is the only one you do forever. (uh)and then you can finally retire.
I don't want to retire but ok
TOO BAD!
Welcome to Danny's first and maybe last ever story time animation!!! about.. the time -gasp- he accidentally killed his -gasp- second-grade class -gasp- hampster and it was kinda traumatizing-
Oh yeah!!!
You're really not making this easy. It was a normal beautiful day back in 2003
the Sun was shining the
Playground blacktop was covered in fresh chalk drawing and it was Friday and like what could ruin a Friday especially in second grade?
Uh a tsunami
no, I was a rhetorical question
Oh- uh, Pneumonia.
what no this particular Friday was poppin. We were all drawing pictures. I was killing it with my signature
Spongebob drawing. It was kind of my thing.
You know, I would draw a Sp*ngeB*b for the kids in the classroom. It was a business.
gET your mediocre Sp*ngeB*b drawing by a 10 year old here!
Do you have any food?
Nope!
this is the Great Depression-
whOO lives in a pineapple under the sea!
to make this Friday even better
I was the pet feeder for the week, which means I get to feed our adorable class hamster fluffy!
*WOW*
Oh my gaa- is that the hamster you killed??
Save all questions to the end, please. hehe. Also, yes
All right, so it was 30 minutes until the bell dismissed us for the day and vibes were good. Put my crayons down
So I could fulfill my prophecy of feeding this dang hamster and and this is where things get weird at first
Everything was going as planned. I took off the cage top. I opened up the food bag. I took out the food bowl
I poured one scoop of nom noms into this bowl *so far so good* fluffy delightfully started eating there was no issue. It was adorable
WOW-
So adorable that there was no way I was not gonna pet him with my little itty-bitty
Finger as my finger went to pet his back. I was thinking about how great life was goin for me recently
I was line leader a few days ago,
My teacher awarded me with this huge holographic Pikachu sticker cuz I was a good boy, you know
Everything was fine. Good vibes were abruptly ended. However by reality biting me my butt except instead of my butt
It was my finger
instead of reality
It was this dumbass hamster the hamster turned around at lightning
Speed whipped out his freak teeth and bit my finger with everything he got
Holy shit. Now I'm super socially anxious so I don't like drawing too much attention myself
So even though I was probably in the most amount of pain ever I did not yell. I didn't say anything
I just stayed silent. I actually always thought about how if I was eating in public and I started choking
I wouldn't make a whole scene out of it. I would probably just stand up and say
And silently walk out and die in the parking lot in solitude or something
Eugh... *sad music ensues*
Jesus Christ can can can we move on here?
Oh man I'm dying up here, huh *laugh track
So I was silently freaking out with pain and I started instinctively swinging my hand around and the hampster, hoh, the hamster
He was along for the ride
um, he was not letting go until he did and he flung against the wall and
Dropped behind the table where there was no
opening.
Hey Danny, wheres Fluffy?
Don't know I don't know nothing man
Afternoon, uh, I'm here to
I AIN'T GOIN BACK TO JAILLL
*crash*
uhh...
I'm here to pick up my son Jimmy.
Jimmy your dad's here
ah HA! Okay that was pretty funny, I'm witted I'm witted!
So, yeah, I killed the second-grade class hamster. I was mortified all weekend
And when I returned to class Monday our teacher gathered us on the road to tell us the bad news, apparently the custodian. Mr
Max found him dead behind the desk while he was cleaning and me being totally non
incriminating raised my hand and asked so he was found behind the desk dead or
Was he found in the cage yet? Was there any blood like don't spare us the deets, teach. We got to know these things
It sucks dude. There was a kid who brought a bag of baby carrots that day for fluffy and he was just standing there crying
Eh deh deh- I picked these baby carrots myself
I bottled this up and kept it a secret for years
Until I was a senior in high school and it came time to write your senior quote for the yearbook
I couldn't think of anything and
I thought well 10 years is long enough and I admitted to killing fluffy the hamster for my entire school district to read
You monster.
-and you know what it felt good, okay
It was the perfect way for me to end crappy high school and leave with a bang.
People thought it was kind of funny to comedic timing is everything
Especially when you bottle everything up for a decade and let it negatively affect how your brain developed from a young age
Uh, Are these are these things supposed to have lessons at the end or
YES.
ya idiot
Uh.. D-..
Don't murder-.. things. Don't- Don't kill
-Uh..
Keep
sh*t
Uhh! Oh my gawd
Hey, what's up?
Thanks for watching. My very first storytime I think it came out all right, I'm curious. What's what's the most embarrassing thing?
That's ever happened to you at school. You could leave it in the comments below and oh, hey animated me
That's a nice hoodie you got there. Well, guess what? They're available to cop now. It's my very own designed limited edition
Black your special hoodie last time we sold out of these pretty quick
And since YouTube has a very special place in my heart
Everybody watching this video gets a free discount code to save you some moolah. As always, thanks for the support
Can't wait to make more videos. Maybe another storytime one day. Who knows?
Anything's possible
*f@rt*
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