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- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Go-ers,
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Now, let's continue.
Isn't having a new boyfriend or girlfriend so exciting?
There are butterflies and flirty texts,
brushes on the arm that make you light up,
and long conversations over the phone.
The beginning of a new relationship can feel so heady
and come with a head rush of emotions and thoughts,
but how can you be sure that your new bae
is ready for a romantic relationship?
How do you find out if you're both on the same page?
To help you gain more clarity in your situation,
here are five signs that someone isn't ready.
Number one,
they're going out with a lot of different people.
Have you ever been in a situation
where you're getting to know someone
and are starting to develop feelings only to find out
that they're going on multiple dates with other people?
It can be jarring and disheartening
to find out the person you like is seeing other people.
According to GlobalNews.com, this is a common scenario
due to the popularity of dating apps.
Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and countless more
have vastly widened the pool for potential partners.
Online dating expert Julie Spira, while advocating
for casting a wider net, also explained the darker side
to casting such a wide net.
She says that if someone continues to play the field
and doesn't take a digital leap of faith with one person,
they may end up on a merry-go-round and end up
in a series of one-and-done dates,
or dates that don't go past a few weeks.
If this is happening to you and you're not currently seeing
anyone else, Elite Daily notes that having
a straightforward conversation
about where the two of you are could be helpful
in establishing what the dynamic will be
moving forward in a committed relationship.
Number two, they bring up their ex often.
Have you ever wondered why your new partner
keeps bringing up their ex?
Have you been stuck thinking
that it could mean something deeper?
Maybe they mention their ex out of nowhere
or reach out to their ex on the birthday
or still keep in touch with their ex's family.
If you're entering into a relationship with someone
who is emotionally unavailable because they have
unresolved feelings for someone else,
this could lead to a big hurdle
in trying to properly connect with them.
If they strictly engage in polite conversation with you
and don't talk to you about anything deeper
or more meaningful, and it feels like they push you away
when you get too close to an emotional boundary,
then this is a sure sign that they aren't ready
for a real relationship with you.
Number three, they don't know what they want.
Have you ever expressed exactly what you need from someone,
only to be met with an, "I don't know,"
from the other person?
It's hard for someone to be all in and ready
for a relationship with you if he, she, or they
is unsure of what they want.
It puts you in an unstable kind of situation
with little support.
Wishy-washiness and a shaky sense of commitment
is never a good sign
when it comes to establishing a relationship.
Number four, they're flaky.
Does your partner text you last minute
and bail on plans or dates all the time?
Or if they do happen to show up,
are they chronically late to every gathering?
This is a major problem when your partner has
an inability to follow through on plans or arrive on time.
This type of behavior shows a lack of commitment
and a skewed sense of priorities.
If they can't or refuse to make time for you,
then you simply aren't important enough for them,
as they'll always have better places to be
and friends to hang out with.
And number five, there's a lack of progression
in the relationship.
Does it feel like your relationship is at a standstill?
Has there been too much distance between dates?
Has it felt like there have been any steps
taken forward in the relationship at all?
When you're suffering a lack of progression
in your relationship, there might never be a mention
of a future together,
or there's no immediate plans being made,
or you're struggling to feel emotionally fulfilled.
According to Lifestyle.com, the progression
of a relationship typically occurs in five stages.
Attraction and romance, reality sets in, disappointment,
the stage in which conflicts get resolved
and there is growth and a healthy partnership,
and finally stability and commitment.
If it feels like this dynamic is in limbo
and isn't headed towards the next stage,
it could very well mean your partner simply isn't ready
to take the plunge and be in a relationship.
Did you relate to any of the signs mentioned?
If you're unsure of your relationship status
and feel like you're holding
onto a shaky sense of commitment from your partner,
then it's time to give things a hard look
and choose to fix the issues or move on.
You'll figure out what's best for you.
What other signs can you think of
that someone isn't ready for a relationship?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
Please like and share this video if it helped you
and you think it could help someone else, too.
The studies and references used are listed
in the description below.
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We'll see you next time.