MY NEXT GUEST PRIDES HIMSELF ON AGGRAVATING EVERYONE, BUT I LIKE
HOW AGGRAVATING HE IS.
PLEASE WELCOME, CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME AGAIN.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A SLIGHTLY HAPPIER OCCASION.
THE LAST TIME WE WERE TOGETHER WAS ON THE LIVE ELECTION NIGHT
SHOW-- >> DON'T REMIND ME.
>> Stephen: WELL, THERE'S A REMINDER AT 1600 PENNSYLVANIA
AVENUE EVERY DAY.
>> YES, IT IS, YES, IT IS.
>> Stephen: AND THE LAST TIME ON ELECTION SHOW-- WHICH WAS A
BIT OF A SHOCKER.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
A LITTLE BIT-- DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, BUT YOU SAID THIS,
"WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, AMERICA.
YOU (BLEEP) THIS ONE UP."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IN RETROSPECT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: IN RETROSPECT-- >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE OVER-REACTED IN THE
MOMENT?
>> NO, I THINK-- I THINK I WAS RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WHAT I SEE HAPPENING NOW IS WHAT I WAS
AFRAID WAS GOING TO HAPPEN THE NIGHT OF THE ELECTION.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
I THINK WE'RE AT A POINT RIGHT NOW IN THE COUNTRY WHERE IT'S
NOT EVEN ABOUT, YOU KNOW, CONSERVATIVE AND LIBERAL OR
RIGHT AND LEFT.
I JUST THINK IT'S ABOUT RIGHT AND WRONG, GOOD AND EVIL, GOD
AND SATAN, AND YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF WHAT SIDE OF HISTORY DO
YOU WANT TO BE ON?
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: UM, WELL, YOU'VE
GOT A NEW BOOK.
>> YES, I DO.
MY FIRST BOOK, EVER!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S A BOOK ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE AND YOUR VIEW OF
THE WORLD.
IT'S CALLED "BLACK PRIVILEGE."
>> "OPPORTUNITY COMES TO THOSE WHO CREATE IT."
>> Stephen: WHAT IS BLACK PRIVILEGE?
>> FIRST OF ALL, I THINK IT'S A PRIVILEGE TO BE BLACK.
I THINK WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BLACK PRIVILEGE, YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING SPIRITUAL.
WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT WHILE THE PRIVILEGE YOU TALK ABOUT
SOMETHING SYSTEMIC AND THINK WE HAVE A DIVINE SYSTEM THAT
ENABLES US TO PROSPER IN THIS COUNTRY IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH.
BUT I SIMPLY FEEL LIKE THIS IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE ALIVE, PERIOD.
I FEEL LIKE WHATEVER YOU ARE, WHATEVER GOD MADE YOU, WHATEVER
HE PUT YOU HERE AS, YOU SHOULD FIND PRIVILEGE IN THAT, AND YOU
SHOULD TIEWZ TO EMPOWER YOU.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: I BELIEVE THAT.
THAT-- NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE, THERE'S ONLY ONE
RESPONSE, AND THAT'S GRATITUDE TO BE HERE.
>> ALWAYS, TO BE HERE.
I THINK WE TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, WHEN YOUR FATHER HAS SEX WITH YOUR
MOTHER IT'S 400 MILLION SPERM CELLS THAT COME OUT, AND ONLY
ONE ALLOWS US TO BE WHERE WE ARE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> SO THAT'S A LOT OF PRIVILEGE IN THAT SPERM.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I, FOR THE RECORD, DO NOT BELIEVE MY PARENTS HAD
SEX.
>> REALLY.
>> Stephen: NO, JUST A FIRM HANDSHAKE.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: FIRM HANDSHAKE AT BEDTIME AND "SEE YOU IN THE
MORNING, DARLING."
THAT'S THE IMAGE I HAVE IN MY MIND FOR THE RECORD.
NOW, WHAT IS SOUTH CAROLINA PRIVILEGE.
YOU'RE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA, I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
NOT THAT FAR AWAY.
MONKS CORNER.
>> MONKS CORNER.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S SOUTH CAROLINA PRIVILEGE?
>> ME BEING HERE FOUR TIMES IN THE PAST YEAR.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
WE LOVE HAVING OW.
>> WHEN MY BOOK CAME OUT, OTHER LATE NIGHT SHOWS WERE LIKE, "WE
WANT YOU ON.
CAN YOU DO US BEFORE COLBERT?" I SAID, "NO, I CAN'T.
HE'S FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
I'VE BEEN ON THREE TIMES ALREADY."
>> Stephen: PALMETTO STATE, GOTTA REPRESENT.
>> PALMETTO STATE GOTTA STICK TOGETHER.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO HANG UP ON THE IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
>> WE HAVE TO GO HALF ON A SCHOOL OR SOMETHING OR HALF ON A
SCHOLARSHIP.
>> Stephen: I WORK WITH MY FRIENDS AT DONORS CHOOSE IN
SOUTH CAROLINA.
DO YOU MIX UP WITH THEM?
>> NO, BUT I'D LIKE TO.
LET THEM KNOW I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY YOU DO.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A SWEET BOOK MONEY.
>> HOPEFULLY I COULD GET INTO THAT TAX BRACKET BUT I WOULD
LOVE TO DO SOMETHING IN SOUTH CAROLINA, LIKE, JUST FOR THE
SCHOOLS.
>> Stephen: IF YOU GOT INTO MY TAX BRACKET, YOU MIGHT LIKE
TRUMP MORE.
>> NO, NO, BECAUSE I'M THE TYPE OF GUY THAT WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE
MORALS OVER MONEY, YOU KNOW ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: SPOKEN-- SPOKEN BIKE A MAN WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE
MONEY YET.
( LAUGHTER ) DOES THIS BOOK REVEAL ANYTHING
EMBARRASSING ABOUT YOU-- DON'T ASK.
HEY, DO NOT TEMPT THE LORD THY GOD.
HE MIGHT GIVE IT TO YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ANY EMBARRASSING REVELATION IN ADDITION HERE?
>> I MEAN, I TALK ABOUT MY PENIS SIZE.
LIKE -- >> Stephen: IS THAT
EMBARRASSING, CHARLEMAGNE?
>> IT DPERNGDZ I'M SEVEN INCHES, THREE-FOURTH IN THE WINTER,
EIGHT IN THE SUMMER.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE TO CALL TIME-OUT RIGHT NOW.
I MIGHT HAVE-- I'M SORRY, I MIGHT HAVE TO-- MIGHT HAVE TO
THROW A FLAG ON THAT.
>> I DO TELL A STORY ABOUT MY-- MY-- SHE'S NOW MY WIFE.
AT THE TIME SHE WAS MY GIRLFRIEND.
AND, YOU KNOW, WE-- YOU KNOW, SHE WAS-- IN COLLEGE,UN IN
COLLEGE YOU GO THROUGH YOUR PHASE, AND SHE WAS A CHEERLEADER
AND SHE HAD SLEPT WITH ANOTHER GUY.
AND SHE TOLD ME HIS PENIS WAS BIGGER THAN MINE AND THAT WAS
REALLY TRAWM TIEGZ.
SO I ORDERED PILLS CALLED MAGNA R.X, THAT WAS SUPPOSE TO MAKE
YOUR PENIS BIGGER AND I WAS DOING EXERCISES TO STRETCH MY
PENIS AND TAKE THE PILLS.
>> Stephen: BUT, AGAIN, ANYTHING EMBARRASSING IN THE
BOOK?
>> OH, YEAH, NOT REALLY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: GREAT TO YOU HAVE
BACK, MAN.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
THE BOOK IS "BLACK PRIVILEGE."
IT'S OUT TODAY!
THAT IS CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.