WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING IN--
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING IN CIVIL ENGINEERS TO CHECK THE
STRUCTURAL DAMAGE IN THIS BUILDING BECAUSE YOU ALL JUST
TORE THE ROOF OFF THIS PLACE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: ALL NIGHT.
HEY, JON, I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION ABOUT NEXT WEEK.
YOU DOING ANYTHING TUESDAY NIGHT?
>> Jon: YEAH, I'LL BE HERE.
>> Stephen: 11:35.
>> Jon: WE'RE DOING A LIVE SHOW.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TOMENT TO BE HERE BECAUSE WE'RE
DOING A LIVE SHOW FOLLOWING PRESIDENT TRUMP'S ADDRESS TO A
JOINT SESSION OF CONGRESS, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
IT'S NOT THE STATE OF THE UNION, BECAUSELET COUNTRY DOESN'T HAVE
THAT MUCH UNION RIGHT NOW, BUT IT'S LIKE THE STATE OF THE UNION
AND WE'LL BE HERE TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING HE SAID AND DID RIGHT
HERE ON THE SHOW.
PLEASE JOIN US.
IT WILL BE SUPER EXCITING.
RIGHT?
I'M RIGHT ABOUT THE EXCITING PART, RIGHT?
CAN WE FACT CHECK WHETHER IT WILL BE EXCITING?
THEY'RE TELLING ME IT WILL BE EXCITING.
NOW, WHAT'S ALSO EXCITING RIGHT NOW, THESE ARE EXCITING TIMES
FOR THE GOOD FOLKS AT NASA.
THIS WEEK, NASA ANNOUNCED THEY FOUND, NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT
SEVEN NEW PLANETS IN A STAR SYSTEMS JUST 40 LIGHT-YEARS FROM
HERE, AND TRUMP HAS ALREADY BANNED REFUGEES FROM ALL SEVEN
PLANETS.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THE OTHER EXCITING THING IS
THAT NOW, AMERICA HAS TAKEN THE LEAD.
WE ARE HEADING BACK TO SPACE, THANKS TO BOEING'S STARLINER
CAPSULE.
AND NATURALLY, DAELD WANTS IN.
JIM.
RECENTLY THE GOOD PEOPLE OF NASA INVITED ME TO THE KENNEDY SPACE
CENTER WHERE AMERICAN HEROES CONTINUE TO SHOOT FOR THE STARS.
ONE OF THOSE HEROES IS COMMANDER CHRIS FERGUSON, WHO PILOTTEDLY
THE FINAL MISSION OF NASA'S ICONIC SHUTTLE PROGRAM.
>> AMERICA WILL CONTINUE THE DREAM.
>> Stephen: TODAY, CHRIS IS THE DIRECTOR OF CREW AND MISSION
OPERATIONS FOR BOEING, SO I ASKED TO MEET HIM TO SEE IF I
HAD THE RIGHT STUFF.
( LAUGHTER ) TO MAKE IT TO SPACE.
>> THIS IS THE CENTAUR SECOND STAGE --
>> Stephen: WE STARTED WITH THE TECHNICAL REVIEW OF THE
STARLINER SYSTEM.
HOW WILL THE STARLINER WORK?
>> UH... IT'S A ROCKET.
>> Stephen: IT'S A ROCKET, OKAY.
HOLD ON.
LET ME GET THAT DOWN.
ROCKET...
>> THE STARLINER, WE'RE GOING TO RIDE ON AN ATLAS 5 BOOST GLER
WHICH ONE OF THESE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?
>> THEY'RE BOTH MODELS WILL OF THE ATLAS 5.
ONE IS A LITTLE SHORTER THAN THE OTHER.
>> Stephen: THERE'S A SHORT ONE AND A LONG ONE.
>> THAT'S ONE MODELS -- >> Stephen: THERE ARE TWO
MODELS OVER THERE.
>> BUT THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT SIZES OF THE SAME ROCKET.
>> Stephen: SO THERE ARE TWO SIZES.
>> IT DOES NOT COME IN TWO SIZE.
>> Stephen: WHY ARE THERE TWO MODELS?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST PHALLIC ROCKET TO GO INTO
SPACE.
I'M NOT SURE WE CAN SHOW THAT ON CAMERA.
JIMMY, THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW.
AND WHAT SHAPED ROCKET WILL FEMALE ASTRONAUTS GO UP IN, A
GEORGIA O'KEEFE PAINTINGS?
>> THEY WILL BE THE SAME.
AND THE STRAP-ON BOOSTERS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS USE TWO STRAP-ONS?
>> FOR THIS PARTICULAR MISSION WE DO, YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> BUT YOU CAN PUT UP TO FIVE.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN USE FIVE STRAP-ONS AT ONCE?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WOW.
WITH THE TECHNICALITIES BEHIND US, IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO TRY ON
BOEING'S HIGHLY AMOUNTED NEW SPACE SUIT.
UNLIKE THE BULKY SUICIDE OF YESTERYEAR, PRAISED FOR ITS
LIGHT WEIGHT, FLEXIBLE DESIGN, IT IS THE NEXT GENERATION OF
SPACE SUIT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO USE THAT.
>> Stephen: WHY NOT?
LOOK HOW PRACTICAL IT IS?
TURNS OUT I HAD THE WRONG SUIT.
THIS WAS THE SUIT.
THIS FEELS RIGHT.
>> YOU LOOK GOOD.
>> Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT THE GLOVES.
>> SO THE GLOVES ARE-- THEY HAVE A CAPACITOR TOUCH SO YOU CAN
OPERATE A TOUCHSCREEN.
>> Stephen: I CAN USE AN IPHONE WITH THIS?
BECAUSE ON REENTRY I'M GOING TOMENT TO BE CHECK MIGHT GO
INSTAGRAM.
>> VERY IMPORTANT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S ACTUALLY LOOKING.
LOOK AT THAT.
OKAY, LET'S GET A SELFIE.
YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT YOUR FINGER UP?
>> NO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THERE IS A HOLE RIGHT HERE.
IS THIS WHERE HE WEEK UP THE GRAVY TUBE?
>> THAT'S WHERE YOUR AIR HOSE WILL CONNECT TO, YES.
>> Stephen: ANOTHER GREAT, LET'S DO IT.
OH, YEAH.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE, @AND I WANT TO PUT THIS
DELICATELY-- THAT WHEN YOU ATTACH THE TUBE, IT GIVES YOU AN
ENORMOUS ASS.
IS THERE A REASON FOR THAT?
THIS IS SWEET.
LOOK AT THAT.
I LOOK LIKE SPACE NICKI MINAJ.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT?
STUFT ST JUST TO MAKE IT AS UNFLATTERING AS POSSIBLE.
>> I DON'T THINK THEY WERE TRYING TO MAKE YOU LOOK BAD.
WHEN YOU SIT DOWN, YOUR BUTT TAKES UP MORE MATERIAL SO WHEN
YOU STAND UP IT'S UNFLATTERING.
>> Stephen: YOU THINK I'M FAT SAY SO.
JUST SAY I'M A LITTLE HEAVIER AND COULD LOSE A FEW POUNDS.
>> YOU COULD LOSE A COUPLE OF POUNDS.
>> Stephen: OKAY, FORGET IT.
NEXT IT WAS ON TO THE STARLINER CAPSULE ITSELF WHERE I WOULD BE
STRAPPED DOWN FOR AN INTENSIVE INTERVIEW.
>> WHAT KIND OF TECHNICAL DEGREE DID YOU RECEIVE THAT MAY HELP ON
FUTURE MISSIONS TO THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION?
STATION.
>> Stephen: I HAVE A THEATER DEGREE.
I CAN ACT LIKE I HAVE TECHNICAL SKILLS.
WATCH THIS.
UHH, LET'S GET THE DU-1 ON THE DOWNER.
WE ARE BURNING DAYLIGHT.
LET'S LIGHT THIS CANDLE.
WE ARE DETOXING.
LET'S TURN ON THE OXYGEN.
I JUST BROKE A SWITCH.
>> DID YOU BREAK THAT SWITCH.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE THE RCS-1?
>> WE NEED RCS-1.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?
>> REACTION CONTROL JET NUMBER 1.
>> Stephen: HOW AM I DOING?
HOW AM I SCORING SO FAR?
>> I'M AFRAID BREAKING THAT SWITCH IS NOT GOING TO REFLECT
WELL ON YOU.
>> Stephen: I'M STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT.
DO YOU GUYS SAY, "LIGHT THIS CANDLE?"
>> WE NEVER SAY, "LIGHT THIS CANDLE.
>> Stephen: IF I SAY, "LET'S LIGHT THIS CANDLE," NO ONE WOULD
SAY THEY KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BUT THE COOLER ASTRONAUTS DON'T SAY
THAT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO THEY SAY?
>> READY TO FLY.
Q. THAT'S COOL.>> ARE YOU READY >> Stephen: LET'S LIGHT THIS
CANDLE.
>> YOU'RE NOT-- YOU'RE NOT DOING EXCEEDINGLY WELL HERE.
FLYING WITH THE CREW AND LIVING ON THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE
STATION WITH OTHER ASTRONAUTS REQUIRES SOMEONE TO BE VERY
FLEXIBLE AND GET ALONG WITH OTHERS.
DO YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THIS AREA.
>> Stephen: I'M FLEXIBLE IN TERMS OF MY NEEDS.
IS THAT IMPORTANT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.
I JUST HAVE A COUPLE THINGS.
I MADE A SMALL LIST OF THINGS I NEED WHILE I'M IN ORBIT.
I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT A LAVENDER-SCENTED CANDLE.
AND I ALSO HAVE A SERVICE ANIMAL FOR ANXIETY.
>> SERIOUSLY?
>> Stephen: YEAH, IT'S A POSSUM.
AND LEGALLY YOU HAVE TO LET ME TAKE IT BECAUSE IT'S A SERVICE
POSSUM.
>> I'M NOT SURE IF A POSSUM IS IN THE MIX, STEVE GLEN AGAIN,
IT'S A SERVICE POSSUM.
>> I CAN JUST PUT "NO" HERE.
>> Stephen: HOW AM I DOING?
DIPASS?
♪ AIN'T NO STOPPING US NOW.
♪ WE'RE GOING TO SPACE ♪ ♪.
>> Stephen: I HAD TAKEN EVERY TEST WITH FLYING COLORS AND I
COULDN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT MY CRUCIAL ROLE WOULD BE IN
AMERICA'S TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO SPACE.
>> WE'RE GOING TO PROCLAIM YOU THE FIRST HONORARY STARLINER
ASTRONAUT COMMANDER IN CHARGE OF STICKER PLACEMENT.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
LET'S LIGHT THIS CANDLE.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ALLISON WILLIAMS.