porn is not the source of intimacy and connection i'm dr trish leigh let me tell you why
okay so so many people go to pornography in the first place because the risk
of rejection in trying to build intimacy and connection with another human being in real life
is just that it's risky it's challenging it's difficult but i'm here to tell you it's worth
the risk because when you go to pornography you think you're getting some level of intimacy and
connection you're not it's actually the polar opposite it is a distorted reality an un-reality
it creates a perception of the world that becomes distorted so it works like this
you don't have what you're looking for in life in terms of a partner in terms of the sex life
that you're looking for which everybody can have a good one and deserves a good one
you no longer find uh the dopamine that you perhaps did find before you found porn in the
world so then you keep going back into the screen and it fills a void that's in there what you
might not know is that void is being created by pornography so it works like this you go to the
screen and you think you're building a connection between the images that you are consuming
we don't call porn use porn consumption for no reason it is puts you in a fourth wall
observer and consumer role it is not an experience and secondly it's a dangerous one because what you
consume is damaging your brain it's literally making it so that the frontal lobe in your brain
no longer works as well as it used to there's science that shows that structurally some areas
of your brain the size is smaller that is not a good thing the reward centers in your brain
are being fried out and your brain needs higher levels of stimulation that keep you coming back
for more so it creates this incredibly dangerous and harmful negative feedback loop where you keep
going back into the screen to try to get the connection and the intimacy that you don't
have and honestly that is difficult for you in the first place is challenging for you to allow your
whole self to be seen that goes back to the risk of rejection if you let your whole self be seen
then guess what there's parts of you that another person might not like or appreciate i'm also here
to tell you none of us are perfect and so we have to embrace each other for the human beings
that we are because we're inherently flawed but for the gifts that we can bring to each other
and so when people put in the comments you know i just go to porn because i don't have a girl
and i don't want one or i'm too ugly someone wrote that the other day i'm like dude you
are not ugly that's just a self-perception when people put those comments in it means they want
intimacy and connection but they are keeping it at arm's length because it frightens them at
the core of intimacy challenges is fear i'm here to tell you you are stronger than the fear that
is inside you and to be able to step into the most powerful most awesome and healthiest and confident
feeling version of yourself you have to leave that fear behind to be able to leave that fear behind
you have to get out of the screen so that your reality can clear up that your perception
is no longer distorted you can see the world for the amazing place that it can be for you
and that's why i always say get on purpose in your work in your relationships and your hobbies
because it will change your perception the fear dissipates and it goes away and then guess what
the courage to go out there and meet people and build intimacy intimacy is just connection
it doesn't have to be physical but of course if you meet that special someone and that intimacy
develops it can lead towards physical intimacy and then healthy sexuality once you watch the video on
healthy sexuality and you learn to develop it but when you go back into the screen you're impacting
and impeding your ability to get the real true intimacy and connection that you're looking for
in the world so i encourage you to stop hitting that easy button which is flooding your brain
with dopamine but not creating intimacy and connection and get out into the world and start
being a better friend and a better family member and open yourself up to the possibilities that you
have with other people because you can handle uncomfortable feelings if they come at you and
you will grow from them and you will keep moving forward into your full potential and eventually
you will either find or develop a relationship that feeds your soul all right i'm here to tell
you that today if you're looking for help on that journey please jump over to drtrishleigh.com
i would absolutely love to help you out and until next time control your brain or it'll control you