Let's talk about small talk.
I think that small talk has a really bad rep.
And the reason is, is because people think that small talk is very superficial, which
inherently that's what it is.
We're talking about small talk versus big talk.
Small talk is like how's the weather, what's going on and things that don't really matter.
It's just stuff that people say to each other that has no real importance or deep meaning
versus big talk (even though no one really uses that word big talk as opposed to small
talk) big talk is a deeper talk.
Getting to know someone on a deeper level talking about things that maybe are more vulnerable,
things like that.
Small talk is not so bad because small talk is the thing that leads to big talk or at
least leads you to a conversation that has more meaning.
It's a little strange if you're cutting right to deep, intense conversation.
Yes, it happens.
Some people connect really fast and they get to that point.
However small talk is essential.
I want to go over in this video, the difference between what I consider good small talk versus
bad, small talk.
Because there is a difference.
There's some small talk that you can have.
That's really boring and really lame and then there's better small talk and I'll be giving
you examples of those, how to use it so you can be an amazing conversationalist.
I just want to note upfront that I do have a course called Hooked where it teaches you
everything you need to know about conversation with women.
On this video we'll be giving you some ideas and things that you can just gloss over and
still use.
But the course Hooked goes deeper into it, gives you more examples and teaches you how
to do it step by step.
I even have a module inside of this online course called Effortless Flirting and this
is a video inside the course that teaches you everything that you need to know to converse
with women, make it easy, make it effortless, and be able to get her interested in you at
the end of it.
I'll get a link in the description down below where you can check that out.
And you can get that course where you can get everything in terms of all the different
techniques in the whole system to meet and attract women.
But at the very least, you're going to have this video to sort of brush the surface on
what we're talking about when it comes to starting conversations with women.
All right, small talk.
That is bad.
This is what I seen guys do all the time.
They'll go to a bar and they'll say hey, what's up?
What's going on?
You come here often?
Where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
Some guys will ask how old are you.
They'll just get all this factual information like they're trying to create some sort of
like profile based on who the girl is and collect the information.
Obviously I know that's not the intention of what guys are doing.
It's just that's all they know.
They only know those easy questions.
I'll say this it's better to do an approach and have the worst small talk ever than not
do an approach at all.
I'm very pro you approaching women, talking to women, getting into conversation and doing
this or starting conversations online with women when you're doing online dating.
All that stuff very pro, but let's tighten it up.
If you have absolutely nothing to say and that's what you're gonna say, fine.
But let's get you better at it.
Let's tweak it, let's not use this really poor small talk that you've always been using
that leads to one word answers.
Where are you from?
Los Angeles.
Cool.
How'd you come here a lot.
Yeah, once in a while.
Oh, awesome.
What do you do for work?
I work in finance.
It's just like, very boring.
Very one word answers doesn't allow her to even ask.
Ask you back.
And the worst part about this bad small talk is that it doesn't give her any reason to
ask you a question just because you go and approach or just because you talk to someone
online, that doesn't mean that they're automatically going to respond to you, it doesn't mean that
they're going to be interested in conversation.
So what you need to do is be able to somewhat, if you're gonna be the one doing the approach,
somewhat have something interesting to say, even if it's not the most deep meaningful
thing ever, that can get a conversation flowing.
So I want to be very careful here.
This video is not going to be teaching you the entire flow of conversation.
That's what my program hooked is for other videos on this channel.
So we're not gonna be going from Okay, this is the opener to this is the next thing you
say, do this is the that's not what this video is.
So, forgive me if this is a little bit out of context, but I just want to give you some
ideas of what you can do to make small talk a little bit better.
So let's imagine For example, you're in conversation, and you're talking to a girl My favorite question
ever to ask someone based on anything they say is, what's that?
Like?
Okay, I've talked about this in many videos, but I know that you guys don't watch every
single one of my videos.
So I gotta say it again.
What's that like? is a really good question to ask.
So based on maybe off of a really bad, small talk, like, you know what they do or where
they live, or maybe they're not from here, you can say, Oh, cool.
What's that?
Like?
Oh, interesting.
What's that?
Like?
Get them to describe to you what something is like, even if you maybe know all about
it.
That's not the point.
Of course, again, this is what small talk is it just getting things warmed up getting
the conversation going?
Right.
Another question I like to ask is asking women about travel that just pertains specific to
me because I traveled a lot.
I have a lot to say about it.
I can talk for hours on end about traveling.
So it's an easy topic.
So I'm gonna interrupt myself and put a pin in that for a second.
What are some times topics that are easy for you to talk about, what are some topics that
you know a lot about that you can bring up in conversation?
Again, that's not too specific.
Like if you're a gamer, and you know, it's very specific, she might not know anything
about that, but something a little bit more broad, a little bit more general, like traveling
that you guys can talk about.
Okay, so coming back to this idea of traveling, you can bring that up, talk about that.
And then eventually, she's gonna be like, Oh, you know, last year I went to Spain, go
cool.
Spain.
What's that?
Like?
Even if you've never been there before?
Or maybe even if you have been there before, just asking, Oh, what's that?
Like?
What's that?
Like?
Just being curious?
Okay, so good.
Small Talk is really all about bringing out that curious side.
For some people who are really shy who are very kind of caught up in their own mind.
I know this is hard for you.
So this is just the beginning.
Where can we go out and just practice and just try to draw a our curiosity by asking
interesting questions by being able to talk about things and be curious about things that
maybe you don't know about.
So that's why I like that question.
What's that?
Like?
Here's another example.
This is a good one, you can say, I'm curious, who do you know, here?
Again, this is not your opener.
And we're not giving the whole structure of conversation.
But this is, you know, in the context of you guys just talking maybe there's a small law
in conversation.
So who do you know here?
I'm curious, who do you know here?
Or who you with here?
You know, even if like her friends are next door, you know, right next to her like, it
doesn't matter.
Just ask anyways.
Like, who do you know here?
And then she'd be like, Oh, you know, I know this person, this person.
So cool.
How did you guys meet?
So again, we're using this kind of theme here of being curious, drawing out your curiosity,
and just trying to understand like, What's going Oh, cool, how'd you meet?
And then this is a lot of data.
Now.
She's can tell you a story about how she met them.
Do you see how this kind of stuff is different than Where do you work?
Where are you from?
You can't get much out of that, right?
And of course conversations not going to go so smooth where you're always going to get
a lot of information like that.
But again, that's where you use questions like, what's that?
Like?
Or you know, I'm curious, like, oh, how did you meet them?
You know, just kind of diving a little bit deeper into these questions allow for to expand
a little bit more.
Here's another one.
I like asking for advice.
Okay.
So you're going to ask them for advice.
You're going to ask them anything you want, right?
Anything that it's on your mind?
Maybe it's something that you're doing.
Maybe it's something traveling like, Oh, cool.
You've been to a Spain, you know, let me get some advice.
what some of the best things to do there, right.
So how can you bring in this concept of asking for advice?
Here's the thing.
I know you're probably looking right now for examples.
I don't want to give you these examples.
I don't want you to be copying and pasting everything that I'm saying because it's not
going to come off natural.
So I'm just going to ask you just as a favor here, this for your benefit.
Work with me a little bit.
What are some things that you can ask advice on that pertain to you?
Maybe it's a girl you're dating or you went on a date with, you can ask her a question
about that.
Say, Hey, let me ask you something.
Hey, I'm curious about something.
What's your opinion on this?
Or you can get her opinion.
So this is now very often to a slightly different direction, asking her her opinion, something,
say hey, here's what's your opinion on anything want to bring up politics asked about politics
that's kind of polarizing, so that can offer a good information, restaurants, things to
do in the area, ask her opinion, ask advice, anything that's on your mind.
I want you to keep this kind of as a little bit of a tool in the back of your mind here,
right?
Just like trying to figure out when you could put this in.
I guarantee you if you just keep this on your consciousness, the idea of asking advice,
it's huge because this can offer a very extended conversation and getting deeper into things
and kind of jumping from small talk to deep Big talk, asking advice on anything that's
going on in your life.
I know some guys think, Well, isn't that very beta like you're trying to get help from them
or you're seeming like you're weak in an area?
Not so much.
I don't think there's much you can say, asking for advice that's really going to be
so intense that's gonna turn her off from whatever you're asking.
The reason this is people love giving advice.
People love giving their opinion.
It's something that people really enjoy to do, because they feel like Okay, at this point,
they get to share their thoughts, and people love to share their thoughts.
So I want to just kind of recap just a little bit here.
We're talking about asking what that's like are asking about their opinion on stuff asking
who they know, they're asking these kinds of deeper questions as you guys are talking.
Now.
I'm going to really tie this all together and make this a lot easier for you.
Another concept that I talked about in my hooked program, and I've also talked about
in numerous videos is the idea of listening to somebody Buddy and extracting the words
that they're saying.
So then you can use those words to continue conversation.
For example, let's go back to that idea of traveling in Spain, right?
You said to a girl, you know, have you traveled anywhere interesting?
Do you travel at all?
And she's like, oh, I've been to Spain.
Spain, is now your key word.
So now you're using Spain as the word to either ask another question, or make a statement,
right?
So it can be as simple as like, oh, Spain.
Cool.
When did you go there?
That's a question.
A statement would be Oh, Spain.
Wow.
You know, I've never been I've always wanted to go my friends been there before.
He said it was amazing.
He went and he was in college, that ended up whatever it is, whatever is true to you.
So again, the concept is extracting a word, and then bringing it out to ask a question
or make a statement.
This is the basic foundation of conversation.
That's how it works.
And that's how people have what is Good, small talk, just continuing conversation, keeping
it light.
What's cool here is, once you master this, I know I just threw a lot at you.
But once you master this, and it takes a lot of practice going on dates using going on
dates, using it on approaching women, when you're out and about, once you practice all
this and it becomes easy for you might take like a full month of a lot of conversations
to get there, then you can start adding in some of the flirting, right then you can start
adding in some challenges and teasing.
Maybe just like minor intentional statements could be a small compliment, something like
that.
But we throw all that together and boom.
That's how we create attraction.
So small talk is really a lot better than you think it just gets a bad rap because people
usually are using small talk in the wrong way.
Again, if you want help with that and you want to learn how to kind of pepper in some
of that flirtation, once you get small talk going check out the hooked course again that's
at get her hooked calm.
Link is in the description below.
Check that out.
So you can be a master at throwing this all together.
But practice this, use this.
If I were you, I would take just one of these sections, right?
Don't use every single thing like in one conversation that you're having all these different things
I told you pick one, and then use that the next time you're on a date, or use it the
next time you approach a girl.
That's how you're going to learn this stuff better.
Just pick one, like maybe asking what what's that like using that question and remembering
to use that in the conversations you're having.
And once you get good at that, using maybe some curiosity, using some asking her she
knows anyone here, just using a few of these, and you'll be good.
That's how you learn it.
That's how you implement it.
I hope that helps.
I'll see you on the next video.