It's really easy when you first meet someone that you really fancy to put them up on a
pedestal and think the sunshine's out of their a*s. Today, I'm talking about seven reasons.
You should never put men on a pedestal. Don't forget to download the 12 Text Messages To
Make Him Yours from the link below, and I'll see you on the other side.
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Why is it such a disaster? Why is it such a bad idea to put someone up on a pedestal?
You want to love the men you're dating, right? You want to be into them and you want to think
they're great people. Putting someone on a pedestal means giving them an unjustified
amount of positive qualities or respect in your mind. Basically thinking of them as perfect
or thinking of them as an idol. Here's seven reasons you should never do it.
Number one, he'll look down on you. As soon as you put a man up on a pedestal, it immediately
means that you see them as above you, which means he's going to see you as below him.
People believe about you what you believe about yourself. We buy into each other's self-beliefs.
In other words, if you communicate to a man that he's above you, he's going to believe
you, and he's going to consider himself as looking down upon you. If that's the case,
it's going to cost you his attraction.
Number two, it costs his respect. I love respect. That's one of my favorite topics in the dating
and relationships niche. Men commit to women they respect, but men respect women who respect
themselves, and how can he respect you as an equal if you're always telling him
and communicating to him, that's not what you are?
Number three, you'll be unable to relax around him. If you've
got this guy up on a pedestal as "Oh so amazing," how are you ever going to relax and let your
personality shine through in such a misbalanced equation, which brings me to number four,
you'll feel like you have to play games. If you've got a guy up on a pedestal, and you're
down here, you're going to think that you're going to have to use tactics because the equation
is so misbalanced. Playing the victim or worse, playing hard to get are going to be the only
ways that you can see to correct that equation.
Things like not responding to his texts, things like making him jealous by not picking up
his calls or being around other guys. Things like not even letting you know that you like
him are all going to be things that you feel like you have to do to keep his interest.
One of the big reasons it's such a bad thing to have a guy up on this pedestal is you'll
be tempted to use all of these games.
Number five, his positive traits become unattainable.
Now, if you like a guy and you're with a partner, you're going to hopefully take away the best
parts of him and apply those to your own personality.
After all, we become like the five people
we spend the most time around and a future date or partner you're going to spend a lot
of time around and the same applies from him to you. But the problem is if you put a guy
up on a pedestal, all those positive traits become God-like.
They're not human. They're not things you could do. They're just things this amazing,
beautiful man does. His positive traits become unattainable for you and you're not going
to be able to get that growth the way you would if you hadn't had put him up on a pedestal.
Number six, you'll increase the chances that your own needs go unmet.
If you keep communicating to someone how above you they are
and how high up there, great, that person is, eventually,
they going to start believing you and they're less and less going to feel inclined to meet
your needs in return. If you've ever experienced a situation where you are doing things for
someone in the hope that they reciprocate and they just never did, then you will have
experienced this phenomenon. As soon as you put someone right up there above you, they
will buy into that frame and they'll feel less inclined to meet your needs in reciprocation.
And number seven, he'll disconnect from you. The reality is we men, we know we're not that
special. We all know that we're human and that we fought and then we do dumb things
like everybody else. And if we feel like you're putting us up on a pedestal, then we're gonna
feel like you don't know us. Like you don't really know who we are. It's going to lead
to us disconnecting from you because ultimately, men and women, we both want the same thing.
We want to form that deep loving connection and if we feel like you can't see us for who
we really are, then we're going to disconnect to you in exchange eventually for a woman
who can. Don't put a guy up on a pedestal because men will feel like you don't know
who they are and they won't feel connected to you as a result.
Well, those are the seven reasons you should never put men up on a pedestal. And hopefully
now, I've really emphasized the reason that this pattern of putting a man or men up on
pedestals is so toxic to not just your attraction, but to forming real connections with men.
If you're still not sure, I've got a video coming out on a few weeks called, Are You
Putting Men Up On a Pedestal? Take the test. So when that one is available, I'll pop the
link in the description. Thank you for watching. Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions.
Make sure you hit the like button and that big red subscribe button along with a little
bell, so you get the notifications. Thanks again, and I'll see you in the next video
very soon.
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