[music]
--Elle, do you know the number one reason for all bad hair decisions?
Love!
--[sings] You're lost without you love. Your heart is on the floor.
I can help you. I've been there
before. When I need to relax, I just put on some tracks
from this CD I bought for
the store...
[piano]
--Isn't that relaxing? It's called Celtic Moans!
--[Sings] When
I'm lonely or feeling dejected. I play this, and it never fails.
Ipretend like I'm in Ireland
with Enya and the whales...
[whale noise]
When my telephone gets disconnected, or I spend every night alone, I pretend like
I'm in Ireland where the Irish bagpipes drone.
[piano]
--Smell the grass as a rain storm is ending.
People smile as I stroll past
their farm
with a redheaded named Brendan. And we dance without moving our arms!
In a bar once I met this guy Dewey, and he bought me like 14 beers. And he told
me that he was from Ireland, so I lived with him
10 years.
If I squinted he'd look like my
sailor through my boozy, delusional fog.
But he dumped me for some slut named Kayla!
Took my trailer and took my dog.
In Ireland they know how to love you!
You embrace in the misty Irish breeze.
And if your Irish boy
tires of you,
you're out to shoot him in the knee.
Hey!
You look like that poster for Ireland, long blonde hair and that sweet, sunny face.
Oh, no wait. That's the poster for Sweden! Screw it.
I'll never see either place!
But a girl sweet as you has a future.
You have hope
as each new day dawns.
Girls like you
always to see
Ireland.
Give my love
to the
leprechauns.
[piano]
--Elle! You go, and you fight for him!
--[sings] The Irish, they're nothing and no one!
They keep fighting til everyone's dead!
I'm not sure where this metaphor is going.
I just felt like it had to be said!
There's a guy at that party who loves
you. Something most of us only dream of.
You go out there
and you get some
Ireland!
The country of whiskey
and love!
[music]