I'm sorry about your toe.
Thank you.
But I'm especially sorry that you delivered what have been--
I did a similar, very similar thing to my toe,
although it sounds much less pretty.
Everything about what happened to you
sounds like it was in a nice environment.
Well there was a gym, first of all.
Right.
And art.
And mine happened in a hallway on a very unspecial cat
scratcher.
You know, the cat activity thing,
which has been there for a very long time.
Do you have a cat?
Yes.
And you don't know the name-- "cat activity thing?"
Well, it's an unspecified object.
It's as if someone just took an old cardboard box
and put the corrugated thing inside, and then told me
it was special.
Well, no--
No, that's just a box.
That's just-- is that my cat?
That's not a cat.
Oh, that's my cat!
Well I wasn't expecting to see my cat on national television.
That's Jemmy.
And I'm not mad at Jemmy.
When it happened.
But why, when you hurt your toe, are you angry?
When you hurt your toe specifically,
why are you angry?
Why is one angry at everybody else?
But I think that's a unique injury--
Because it's not any other digit.
Like your finger, you don't get mad at the thing.
Because I dislocated my finger, and I wasn't mad at the door.
But when you hurt your toe, you're mad at--
--at that thing.
But also, God forbid anyone should cross your path
when it happens.
Anyway, we don't have to spend time further on this.
Well it sounds-- no, no, we should.
Because first of all, that is not a cat device.
It's a box.
No, I know.
That's true.
And that's not how we keep her.
That's not what she thinks of as her home--
And is that what you tripped over?
--or shelter.
No.
That is purposeful.
That is a box.
That is a thing that has a place in the world.
This is something I bought.
You know, we love this--
we're crazy about this cat.
Doesn't seem like it.
No, I know.
You're hearing-- oh, there's Jemmy again.
Yeah, we have a camera in your house.
No, I don't know what it is.
You guys know.
I don't want to waste more of America's time,
or any real estate here, frankly.
OK.
But you're OK.
You stubbed your toe.
I'm all right, basically.
But it's taken a long time for my toe to--
are they doing this to me?
No, not at all.
Are they making her, like, make her stop.
No, they're doing this to you.
Exactly.
I was getting to that.
Are they saying, like, she's nuts.
She's nuts.
Yes, like, just go along with it, Ellen.
Do you guys miss the mimes now?
And you're like, oh no, there's one thing I do like less.
A conversation with that one.
Did you fly-- Sarah Jessica, did you fly out for this?
I did.
All right.
Who just asked that question?
Now I'm being you.
I'm doing your interior monologue.
Oh, I see.
What you think what I'm saying inside?
Yeah.
Good lord, did we fly her out or did somebody else fly her out?
No, I'm so happy you're here.
You know that.
I'm really happy to see you, too.
And I want to know--
I really am.
I mean, I don't say it like, yeah.
No, I am.
I'm really happy to see you looking well and--
Yeah, I'm happy to see you, as well.
Really happy.
So you live in New York and you don't come out here that much.
So I don't see you unless it's on the East Coast or something.
That's right.
And I want to know about Sex in the City if you don't mind.
What do you want--
Well, here's what I want to know.
It was going to happen, then it wasn't going to happen.
Then I think it was going to happen,
then you asked Stephen Colbert to be a part of it.
Correct.
Well, he sort of--
he put me in a tough place.
Yeah.
So you kind of had to ask him.
So I said, oh, sure, you play Samantha.
Right.
But now I'll offer you the same opportunity.
I'm going to go across the lands--
To ask everyone?
And any hosts.
But is that the situation?
So she's not coming back.
But will you-- can still do it without her, right?
Yeah.
I think there's a period of grief.
Yes.
A mourning process.
Yes.
And then perhaps we'll be able to consider, say, for instance,
you playing Samantha.
That's so me.
Yeah.
That's who I identify with on that show.
That's it.
If you could be any char-- ooh, yes.
Yeah, right.
That is me.
I am a sexual beast.
And then you like to talk about it a lot, right?
I talk about it a lot, I do it a lot.
In salty language.
Yeah.
This is a facade.
When you meet me as a real person out in the world--
this is my talk show persona.
So first of all, let's just answer the question.
Is there going to be a Sex in the City?
Three?
Yeah.
No, but there will be a Sex in the City 4.
Wouldn't that be hilarious?
Just jump in.
Yeah.
Just skip it.
You know what?
I don't know.
Last week I said no.
Because the reality is, it's a brutal companion.
But I feel like maybe--
I don't know.
I just got to make up an answer, because I
have absolutely no idea.
If you don't know, you don't know.
You know, who knows?
All right.
Yeah, who knows.
Who knows?
Who knows, perhaps--
You should know.
--we'll find a way.
Right now, I don't know.
You don't know.
All right.
So let's talk about Divorce.
OK.
So you're finally--
That I feel more certain of.
OK, good.
Then you're finally divorced.
Correct.
And it's called the upbeat season.
Why is that upbeat, to be divorced?
I guess it's good if--
It's a season of hope.
Yes.
Why is it the up-- well, I guess because, I think when you have
been in combat in that particular way for so long,
the idea of this kind of liberation--
like what you imagine it will be,
like what will life provide now that you are alone and you can
sort of live the life that you always imagined--
I think in the beginning that seems promising.
Yes.
And it can be a beautiful thing if it's the right--
but I think for most people, it's really scary.
Because you know one thing, and you have a companion,
and whether that's combative or not,
you have this relationship that all of a sudden you don't.
And it's--
I think it's very unsettling.
And even if it's something you want,
I think what many people discover
is that it feels like it's the undoing.
You know?
It's a great area to explore.
I think it's really smart that you're doing this show.
Thanks.
Can I show this video that you put on Instagram?
Because I want to talk to you about it.
Oh lord.
Let's just--
OK.
Oh.
So there's mugs from just about every place you've ever been,
right?
I mean, like, let's name-- there was Seth Meyers just now.
There's even MSNBC.
That's an attractive one.
Zabar's.
Duplicates, triplicates.
I feel like I'm about to be punished or--
Well, I'm just looking for mine.
I'm just-- there's a lot.
There's Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show.
I mean, that MSNBC is attractive,
but it's not the best mug.
There's a lot to criticize.
And trust me, people feel very comfortable criticizing me
about that.
I'm not criticizing.
The two times I've had a mug from your show,
I think I've probably given them to people who would never
have the chance to meet you.
That's my real guess.
And I said, you know what, on behalf of all the Americans
who never would have this exchange,
I'm going to give that mug away to somebody
who has been devoted to you for a lot of years.
And that's where I think that mug is.
I think that mug could be anywhere from St. Louis to--
Shh.
And I'm not mad.
I'm hurt.
Are you certain that I had a--
when did I have the mug?
But now, when you had mentioned the mimes,
I'm kind of going back to that now and realizing--
Here's what I want to do.
Oh my god.
This is too heavy for me to lift.
Wait a minute.
Can I help you?
No.
It's too late now.
Lift from the legs!
So you're going to have--
Oh my god.
A matching set.
And look-- For your kitty.
Oh, Jemmy!
For your kitty.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
I'll be the envy of everybody.
Yeah, you'll give those away probably.
Oh no I won't.
And you know what's so nice, is everybody calls
her Marion, because that's her official name.
But we call her Loretta.
And this will-- something that actually has her name on it.
Great. good.
That's so lovely.
You've got everything all lined up then.
Oh that's so kind.
And the tray?
Nope.
OK.
That's just to hold it.
I wanted to be sure.
God you're pushy.
That's so kind of you, thank you.
Come back any time.
Thank you.
You have time to think about that.
I love you.
There's a grace period.
You're right.
All right.
I love you, too, Ellen.
I love you, too.
Divorce airs Sunday nights at 10:00 on HBO.