In this video you're going to learn how to tell if you have a growth or a fixed mindset, and you're
going to learn how to develop a growth mindset in regards to mental health. You're also going to
learn how having a growth mindset can completely change how you feel about your mental health.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is an online therapy provider.
They match you to a licensed therapist in your area who can help you with depression,
anxiety, trauma, grief, and other concerns. It's really easy to just sign up and try therapy from
the comfort of your own home. And one of the best parts is you can use their service to message your
therapist anytime from anywhere. Therapy starts at about $65 a week, so check out the link in the
description for 10% off your first month. Why is boredom such a difficult experience for people?
It's because we all have an innate drive for growth and knowledge through new experiences.
When we make our lives about growth, almost any difficulty can be for our benefit. But so often
we get stuck in our growth because we develop a fixed mindset. Carol Dweck, the author of Mindset,
which this video is based off of, said "In a growth mindset, people believe
that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
Brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning
and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment." The opposite of a growth
mindset is a fixed mindset, a belief that you were either born talented or you were born defective,
that your skills are due more to luck or chance than effort. So with a fixed mindset, you may
say things like "Oh, I'm just bad at math" or "I'm depressed and there's nothing I can do about it."
Or if you see an amazing artist, you say "She's so talented." Now, just in case you were wondering,
for an artist to make beautiful art, they have to spend hundreds of hours sketching and practicing.
Art is not just a talent, right? With a fixed mindset, feedback is seen as a personal attack,
and you often fall into all-or-nothing thinking, right? You think "Oh, I can either do it, like
math or art, or I can't." Um with a with a fixed mindset, you often care a lot about appearances,
right? "I need to look smart, or I need to look like I've got it all put together,"
you know. You're not going to raise your hand in class and ask a question,
because that could help you learn, but it's too embarrassing because you need to look a
certain way with a fixed mindset. And with a fixed mindset with mental health, you know, a lot of the
things I hear are things like "I'm never going to get better. I just have to cope. I just want
to feel better," right? When it comes to mental health, having a growth mindset is essential.
Now, because of so much bad pop psychology out there and some misunderstandings of the research,
people often believe that if they experience anxiety or depression that it is 100% biological,
that it is a brain chemistry defect or some innate problem with them, with their identity, and that
there's nothing they can do to change themselves. But the truth is most people feel stuck because
they just don't know how many options they have, how many skills they can develop to improve their
mental health. Most people have never received any formal education about how to process emotions or
how to improve your mental health. I really believe there's about 500 skills to try
or resources to use when it comes to treating depression and anxiety, and you shouldn't say
change is hopeless unless you've tried a good number of them. Now, just to be clear, depression
and anxiety and other mental health conditions do have biological contributing factors,
right? Your biology influences your mental health. But it only influences it to a degree,
and there's a whole lot of other things you can do that can also influence your mental health.
If you think about problems as an opportunity to learn, it gives you flexibility to develop new
skills to solve old problems. A growth - a growth mindset can change the nature of all difficulties.
So instead of painful emotions being negative, they're seen as an opportunity for growth.
So a growth mindset says "What can I learn from this? A growth mindset says "What resources can
I reach out to?" It says "If I put in effort, I can get better at this." So instead of just
saying "Oh, I'm bad at math. I'm a not-talented artist," whatever like that, right, you say "Oh,
I haven't learned that math skill yet. I haven't learned that art skill yet." And you say "If I put
in effort, if I ask the right people and get the right skills, I can get better at this. With the
growth mindset, feedback is seen as an opportunity to grow. With a growth mindset, "You say, "Oh,
I can show my emotions because learning is more important to me than looking good." Uh with a
growth mindset, you say "Oh, I haven't learned how to do that yet." You just say "not yet." I'm not
there yet, but I'll keep trying." Now sometimes I experience huge, intense, overwhelming emotions,
but when I take a step back from the situation and I say "Well, what can I learn from this?" suddenly
everything changes. As you work to develop a growth mindset in your life, every single problem,
every painful emotion or difficulty that comes up can become a learning opportunity. This
is a chance to learn a new skill, an opportunity to try to see things differently or to change
your perspective. When you see difficulties and imperfections as an opportunity to grow,
suddenly how you feel about problems changes, how you feel about painful emotions changes. So
if you feel anxiety and you say "Oh, this is so terrible. Why am I such an anxious person? This
will never go away." Thinking that way is going to leave you feeling stuck, and it shuts down
any options to improve. Now if on the other hand you feel anxiety about a situation, you say "Well,
this is not fun. This is uncomfortable. What can I learn from this? I wonder if there's a skill I can
develop that will help with this? I I can learn new things," then your experience changes. Maybe
the anxiety doesn't go away but you see it as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself.
Or maybe you see your anxiety as a chance to gain more empathy for others who also experience
anxiety. Looking at emotions with a growth mindset also says "Is there something I can learn that may
change this for me? So you may ask "Hmm, maybe maybe I can try to learn the skill of biofeedback
or sleep hygiene, or maybe I can talk with a doctor about my medical options.
So a growth mindset leaves you open to improve and progress instead of to stagnate and wallow.
You can develop a growth mindset. This is this is a skill that you can learn. And here's a few
ways to do this, right? Instead of believing that your emotions are either good or bad or that you
are either a good or a bad person, just consider yourself as a work in progress. These emotions and
these experiences are an opportunity to learn and grow and, you know, little skills practice
daily add up to big improvements over time. So instead of waiting for your circumstances to
change or wishing your depression or your anxiety would go away, you can actively seek to create a
fulfilling life through growth. If you believe that you or the way you feel is unchangeable,
that belief will undermine your ability to succeed in this course. Your brain has an
incredible capacity to learn and grow throughout its lifetime. It's called neuroplasticity.
So kids who play the violin for a year, they have the music section of their brain physically
expand. People who meditate get thicker wiring in the emotion regulation part of their brains.
We all have an immense ability to learn and grow, but if you believe that it's just luck or talent,
then you won't be able to get much out of this course. Check out the table in the workbook,
take the little assessment, and see if you have more of a growth or a fixed mindset. Here are a
few things you can do to develop a growth mindset: embrace imperfections. Don't hide them. See them
as an opportunity to grow. Focus on progress, not perfection. Replace the word "failure" with
"not yet," as in "I haven't figured out how to be a good listener yet." Try different learning
opportunities. So this course has readings and worksheets and exercises and activities,
but you can also try books and support groups and therapy and coaching. A fixed mindset says "Well,
I tried it once, so it's never going to work," and the growth mindset says "Well,
I tried it once. That didn't work. Let's try something else." Okay. Also,
focus more on your values, the kind of person you want to be, rather than on approval from others.
Get good at asking for and receiving feedback, and give yourself credit for the effort you put in,
not just the outcome. And this applies to kids too. So if you have kids and you're
thinking about them, there's some really important ways to apply a growth mindset
to how you help your kids with their challenges. So I'm going to challenge you as you work through
this course that you push yourself to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. So
instead of just trying to make emotions go away or considering yourself a failure, just identify
challenge and see what you can learn from it. When you see an emotion with a growth mindset,
you can transform your whole experience to one of growth and positivity. Thank you for watching,
and take care. This video is one skill from my 30-skill course How to Process Your Emotions,
where I teach 30 of the most essential skills for resolving depression, anxiety,
and improving mental health. Emotion processing is an essential skill for working through intense
emotions, but most people have never been taught how to do it. I'm putting every single
main video lesson on YouTube for the world to access for free. You watching these videos,
sharing them, contributing to my Patreon and my sponsors make this possible.
If you would like to access the entire course in one place ad free with its workbook,
exercises, downloads, extra videos, live Q&A's, additional short readings,
and links to extended resources, the link to buy the course is in the description below.