(low upbeat music)
- Hey what do you think my dream means?
- Probably nothing, sounds really dumb.
- I love your hat.
That's the thickest yamaka I've ever seen.
- Thanks!
- Dude, it's like there's no place for Islam in America.
- Well, for you there is.
For brown Muslims, it's worse than ever.
Even in Black Panther.
There's a Muslim terrorist going, "Wallahi."
- Really?
- Yeah.
Wil-kest movie of the year and there's still
a Muslim terrorist with an AK47 going,
"We will kill the girls, Wallahi."
- Dude, it's better than when they go "Alla akbar!"
And then kill everyone.
It's "Allahu akbar."
Just get it right if you're gonna disgrace the culture.
- Completely.
- Well, guess what.
I'll be your white ally.
Whatever you need, I got your back.
- Pay for this meal?
- No.
- Yes. - Really?
- Thank you, my ally.
(sighs)
(soft orchestral music)
- Dog?
Hello?
Whose dog is this?
Hey.
Who are you?
Almost.
Come on.
Hey, do you know whose dog this is?
- Nah, but it would suck if anything were to happen to it.
(gnarling)
Hey, it's Ramaddan, do you want some food?
- Rama-nama-dumb shit.
Fuck you, man, you sit up there in that shitty tower
with your clothes made by child slaves,
while I sit here and beg in the fucking hot sun.
- Dude, I gave you your clothing.
You're wearing my clothing.
- Yeah, you think I fucking like this?
(awing)
- Oh my gosh, hi. - Oh my god, yeah.
- What's her name?
- Uh, it's Almost.
- That is a great name.
- [Hamid] Right.
Yeah.
- Hi, Almost. - Is she a rescue?
- No, she just appeared in my bedroom this morning.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Isn't that crazy?
- That's so funny. - Yeah.
- Huh, where are you guys off to now?
- Oh, we're going to work, I deliver food for a living.
(spitting)
- You deliver food?
- Mmm.
- Oh, my god, you're a fucking loser dude with a capital U.
- Almost.
Maybe she just followed someone in the front door
and then came to your door 'cause she smelled food.
And then your neighbor let her in
thinking it was yours.
- Maybe, or maybe she's a miracle dog
because she's the dog from my dream.
- She likes doing that a lot.
- Yeah, she's horny.
- Hamid, I have to tell you something.
- What's up?
- My parents are trying to set me up.
- Like, on a date?
- Yeah, I mean a really long date,
like, one where we get married.
- Wait, an arranged marriage?
Is that even legal?
- I mean, I could say no, legally,
but my parents would kill me.
- Perfect, that's great. - Oh, Hamid, please.
I know this sucks, but I have to tell you that.
- Who is it?
- Just a stupid doctor.
- He's a doctor?
- Yeah, he probably won't even have time for me.
He's always working or buying cars.
And he sends me these selfies.
- Oh, my god, he's so creepy.
- Thanks, thanks a lot.
- Maybe you should go.
(soft piano music)