One of the things I hear most often from infps and occasionally from enfps as
well is how important meaningful conversation and deep connections are
how chitchat and small talk at parties is so painful and how this makes social
events really tough to go to. In this video I want to share some advice for
our infps about how to handle these social situations and perhaps have a new
perspective on it and towards the end of the video I'm gonna share a few
questions that you can ask at parties to instantly turn a conversation from
meaningless chitchat into something that has the potential for a deep and
meaningful connection now if you're new to the channel my name is Dan this is
dreams around the world and my mission here is to help you become the best
version of yourself all while creating the most awesome life possible for you
and those you love so at the end of the video do consider hitting that subscribe
button now imagine the scenario you're at some kind of a party there's about 50
people there and all around you you just hear small talk what car someone just
bought the latest apps they're using heck maybe even the weather and you're
thinking this is a nightmare so maybe you move off to the side you play with
the dog you look through the record collection pretending you're interested
anything to avoid this painful small talk and chitchat but let's think about
the math here for just a second there's 50 people at this event probably a few
others who are also more interested in deep connections who are also maybe more
interesting people that you would love to talk to now sure it's possible that
everyone at the party except you is really boring and interested in small
talk and shallow conversation but statistically it's pretty unlikely but
ask yourself this question if you were on the outside seeing yourself at that
party would there be any indication that you were someone who was interested in
perhaps deeper more interesting conversations would anyone else be able
to tell that was you or is it possible there's a couple other infps or perhaps
some of your friends the enfps in that party as well also bored to death by the
small talk and lame conversation they've no way of identifying each other so if
you catch yourself in this kind of a situation you really have two choices
the first is wallow in self-pity walk around the outside of the party
maybe go on Instagram and talk about how much you hate parties and social events
and just really feel bad about the whole thing and regret ever being there and
try to avoid the next one as much as possible the second option is maybe turn
it into a bit of a game and try initiating those deeper connections and
more interesting conversations see if you can find those other people at the
party and be the savior to them the same way you wish someone a little more
interesting would be the savior for you the odds are if you're at a party and
you're bored there's a lot of other people who are bored as well but what
often happens in these social situations is the conversation kind of drops to the
lowest common denominator unless someone has the courage to take it somewhere
else so you know maybe it starts with the questions like so what do you do and
why did you move here that sort of stuff which can be interesting as a way to get
to know someone and then from there it kind of moves to like recent news events
and then the weather is like the worst case scenario and that's not really fun
for too many people most people in those conversations are not really enjoying
themselves but they don't know how to move that conversation somewhere else or
maybe they do happen to be some people who live in a very shallow conversation
level and that's cool with them but let's presume that's not the case and
you have the possibility to transform that conversation here are some
questions you can use to redirect conversations into something deeper and
more interesting so not only will you enjoy yourself a lot more but perhaps
open the door for other people to have a much better time at the event as well so
in no particular order here are some of the questions I love to ask what's the
most interesting thing you did this week give the other person a chance to bribe
or bring up something really interesting maybe they have a totally different life
outside the workplace that they would love to share with you given that
permission another good question is when are you happiest just ask it see what
they say or what about what something you really care about a couple questions
I love to piggyback on to other things another question I like is the what do
you actually do you know someone has a really weird job title or interesting
job title is actually get into it like what do you do
what's your day-to-day and then sometimes if you want to mess with them
a bit you can then ask like why would you want to do that now sometimes that
can be harsh and offend people but I've actually had conversations where I've
asked some of these questions you know what makes you happy or why do you have
that job or that and people have come back to me years later and said hey
remember that conversation we had you asked me like why I have my job I
couldn't stop thinking about that and I actually quit my job and change what I
was doing so these kinds of questions can yes make for a more interesting
conversation initially but they can also have a really profound impact on other
people's lives which is a pretty cool benefit on the side which leads me to
perhaps my favorite question which can be asked in a few different ways
depending on how the conversation is going but it is what would you really
like to be doing so if someone tells you about their job and you can just tell
they're not that interested in it just ask them hey what would you really like
to be doing and that's gonna show them that you're actually paying attention to
their body language and that you're actually interested in them and give
them a really cool opportunity to share that with you or if you don't really
know what they're doing yet you could just start off the conversation with
that like what do you really want to do in your life what's exciting to you so
take this as a challenge for me the next time you're at a social event instead of
waiting for someone else to magically become interesting and sweep you off
your feet with a deep connection try initiating it with other people try
finding those other interesting people at the event by asking deeper questions
and giving people an opportunity to let their personalities out now I'm going to
film a addition to this video where I'll talk about changes you can make to your
environment to increase your odds of connecting with the type of interesting
people you'd like to spend your time with I'll link to that below in the
description there'll be a card that will pop up and maybe it will even be in the
end screen here thank you for watching do consider subscribing if this is your
first time on the channel hit the subscribe button and hit the bell and I
will catch you in the next video soon.