- Okay, now mommy and daddy have to check to see
if these are safe to eat.
- Oh no, it looks like this one has a tear in the wrapper.
- Oh, I heard these stunt your growth.
- Ooh, this one will poke an eye out.
- Lice. - Asbestos.
- Poison!
- You'll never learn how to love.
- I've been trick-or-treating since yesterday.
- (laughing) Our son is so fricking gullible.
- We're so much smarter than him.
- (laughing) Right?
(razor slices)
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
- (Ian) Every Halloween Ever.
- Oh my god, Karen, I love your costume.
What are you? - A slutty nurse.
What are you? - A slutty bee.
What are you, Shelby? - Gandalf?
(silence)
Suh-lutty Gandalf!
- (all) YAY! (party music)
- (Ian) Every Halloween Ever.
(laughing mischievously)
- Heh! Yeah! - I love Halloween.
(both laugh)
- Jokes on you.
I love eggs.
(silence)
(whimpering)
- Go! Go! Go!
- I love Halloween.
- (Ian) Pumpkins.
(creepy music)
- Oh, Jared, I really want that candy
but I know he's gonna jump out and scare us.
- Don't worry, babe. I'm here to protect you.
- (sighs) Okay.
(ominous music)
- RARRR!
(shrieking)
- (Ian) Every Halloween Ever.
- (both) Trick or treat!
- Oh my Lord, what adorable little children.
I love your costumes! Have a good night.
Oh, there's more of you! I'm out of candy.
Hang on one second. Let's see what I've got here.
Oh, I've got some bananas!
Here you go. A banana for you,
and a banana for you, and you're a girl
so you need another banana!
Have a good night, little ones.
Oh! More of you guys. Hang on one second!
I've got my son's iPhone. Yeah, and a teddy bear thing.
I think that's a dog, actually. Have a good night.
Oh, there's more of you! That's fantastic!
Let's see what I've got.
I've got-- I've got my Shake Weight; it's my prized Shake Weight,
take care of that.
And my lamp. My very special lamp.
Don't eat it though. Have a good night, kids.
Goodbye now!
I hate myself.
- (Ian) Every Christ-- I mean, Every Halloween Ever.
(both laugh devilishly)
- This is such a better prank than before!
- Hell yeah! (chuckling)
- Thanks for the TP, losers.
I've got diarrhea from all the raw eggs I hate.
(sniffs deeply)
- Oh, no... (gags)
- It's the best day of my life.
- (Ian) Fun sized candy.
- You know what?
Let's just not answer the door
and let's just stay inside eating popcorn all night.
- Well, turn off the porch light and no one will know we're inside.
- Yeah.
FIVE MINUTES LATER
(creepy music)
(rattling at door, moaning)
- (children) Candy! Candy!
(window shatters) - (boy) Candy!
(kid shrieks) - (boy) Candy!
(screaming)
- (children) Candy! Candy!
(shrieking) - AAAH! Help! Help!
- (Ian) Spooky.
- Mommy, mommy!
Mommy said it's time for you to take me trick-or-treating!
- Nah, bro, it's way too early.
Only losers go out this early.
A COUPLE HOURS LATER
- Everybody else is trick-or-treating. Come on!
- (smacking lips) Patience, dickweed.
All right, little bro. It's time to go.
- YAAAAAY!
- Here we go!
- Joy to the world
The Lord has come
Let Earth-- - Well, guess it's Christmas.
Better luck next year, bro. - ...recieve her King
- (Ian) Every Pagan Holiday Ever.
(chuckling deviously)
(flames crackle)
(flames rage)
(snickering)
- Jokes on you, A-holes. My roommate's in there.
Been trying to kill him for weeks.
(flames rage)
(whimpers)
- (Ian) Every Halloween Ever.
- (Anthony) Hey, guys, thanks so much for subscribing.
Click the video on the left to see behind-the-scenes footage
and bloopers from this video.
Christmas, Christmas, can I get a wish list
Have I been a good boy
That's none of yo' business!
(cheering)
- (Ian) And click the video on the right to watch
Every Walking Dead Ever.
- Can't we just smear ourselves with guts
like you guys did that one time and walk through?
- No, we only use good ideas like that once.
- (Anthony) And if you have a touchscreen device,
go ahead and click all the links for everything down
in the description below.