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- When you think about the first time we met,
what do you remember feeling?
- (laughs) Oh my god, stop!
I can't get emotional already! (laughs)
- Oh my god! (laughs)
- Um, I feel like I've told you this.
It was, like, well you know I noticed you first,
the second you entered the venue.
And, I said "She can have all my babies," (laughs)
- (laughs)
- And I remember feeling like
a weight was just lifted off me.
I was like, "Oh my gosh!"
Like, I felt happy again.
Like
Stop!
Like, you know when I met you,
it was just a relief.
Stop, my god, the first question.
This is too soon.
- You know, just like you, we were
both recent out of a break up.
You know it was a Pride event,
I thought I was just going out
having fun with some friends,
did not, was not looking, expecting anything.
Just wanted to have a good time.
And then I met you.
I saw you from across the room
and you were dancing.
I was like "Oh, this white girl got some moves!
"Okay," (laughs)
- (laughs)
- So, then, you know, you were
just very intriguing.
Your energy was just different.
Once we started speaking, it was just
an energy that I just felt
like I couldn't get enough, so.
It was just a very good feeling.
One that just, you know, I wanted
to have continuously.
- Yeah. I know.
- Yeah.
- It was known.
How do you describe our relationship to others?
- I feel like our relationship
I feel like it's one of those relationships
where you always aspire to have.
You don't think it's real.
And then not until actually being with you,
I'm like, damn, like, I feel
like I'm in a fairy tale, because
you give me everything that
I always wanted to have in a relationship,
but I just didn't know it was actually capable
of, like, actually having.
Like, obviously, you know, no one's perfect.
But, like, you really are like perfect to me.
Because, literally, anything I could ever want
in a relationship, I get that from you.
And I always felt like every relationship,
you know, there's gonna be, you know,
issues you have, whether it's
you know, arguments or, you know,
little toxic things
that just kind of felt like that
just kinda came with the territory.
And then you, it's like something fresh.
And it's just, like, wow, like,
this isn't difficult; this isn't a struggle.
This is, again, it's easy loving you, you know.
- I agree.
- So I guess I'm next right?
- Okay.
- When do you think I feel closest to you?
- You're a Sag, and I feel like it's easy
for you to be on that surface level
whereas the Scorp in me wants to, like,
peel you back like an onion.
And I feel like there's been moments with,
with or like topics around your family or my family,
that, like, you have
kind of gone deeper.
And I've seen the, like, little innards
that make you, you.
And the ways that make you navigate certain things.
And I feel like those are the moments that
I think that you would feel closest to me.
- Yeah, that goes into
you just being very thoughtful.
And there's moments when I'm not used
to having support and then
you're always there to give me support.
So, I always appreciate that.
Yeah.
- How do our different upbringings
affect our relationship? (laughs)
- Uh
- Odd question.
- I feel like
you grew up very different than I did.
And that does come up often.
Like we respond differently to things.
We love differently, like, we think differently.
There's just a lot of different
- Almost everything. - Yeah.
Like we literally grew up complete opposites.
- Even just certain things that you require
and you need just in a loving, affectionate manner.
I'm not used to just giving that
because I never received that.
You know, because that's just how I grew up.
But, I feel like that's a big one.
Emotionally.
And like the whole nurturing aspect of things.
- I completely agree.
Even in the moments where I get frustrated,
when you're like, not, when we do have,
like disagreements or we're not
like meeting each other
I know that you're never doing it maliciously.
- Yeah.
- Like, I can always see at the end that, like
it was literally just a situation of
us coming from different backgrounds.
- Us being different people. - Yeah.
- And us not trying to, like, be malicious
toward each other or be hurtful toward each other.
It's just we needed to meet in the middle
- Yeah - And keep communicating.
- It's sometimes very hard to meet in the middle.
- Yeah.
- But you know, we work towards it.
- We do (laughs)
- Is this me?
- I think so.
- I think so, well, I hope so.
Oh (laughs) okay.
What is the pain in me you wish you could heal?
Why are you all doing this?
- (laughs) - God! (laughs)
- I wish I could
Stop, I don't wanna go.
Shut up.
- I can't look at y'all.
- Um, I wish I could fix
everything with your mom.
And honestly with your dad.
That whole thing is, like, really hard for me
because my family means a lot to me.
And, like, you know, not having,
or like seeing you not have that thing
is really hard, and like,
hearing about, either from you or from your friends
about how your relationship was with her
growing up
compared to how I've only ever seen it
is, like, shocking to me.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, which also makes it harder
'cause it's not like you guys
always had a bad relationship or something.
- Right
- To me, you know, I'm like "Oh my gosh,"
like, this drastic change has occurred
over something that
you're just a human and you
just love who you love
and I just wish could she could see that.
Um, and then with your dad,
that's just like wild to me.
Like you're just such a special person
and I can't imagine.
You know?
- Yeah.
The fact that you don't have him
it's just like,
it just blows my mind.
So, yeah, I wish I could just wrap that
all in a little bow and like,
give you this like perfect,
loving situation that felt
warm and welcoming for you to go back home to.
Yeah (laugh) and it clearly makes me
very emotional.
There's no point in even trying to wipe my face.
Look at this.
What does my love feel like?
- It's one of those things that
you just can't put into words.
Almost like empowering.
I really feel like with you, like,
I can accomplish anything.
Damn, I feel like I'm getting emotional (laughs)
Um, shit (laughs)
Um, damn.
I feel like you've changed my
thought process.
I've always looked at things like
the glass half full.
But there are times, you know,
where I get very stressed
and it's very hard for me to see
over me being stressed.
And you've allow my mind to just be like, okay.
'Cause you said to me before "I don't know why
"you're stressed."
You're like " You always, like,
you always come out on top."
And it's like something so simple, but
literally ever since you said that,
if you noticed, I have not been really stressed
in a while, you know? - Yeah (laughs)
- And that's part of that.
And that just kinda like shows,
like, how this love is.
It's just, like, you just always
make me feel like we.
You just make me feel like on top of the world.
You make me feel like nothing else matters.
Like it's us against the world.
I always feel like you're like my person, you know?
And I feel like there's nothing we can't accomplish.
Nothing we can't get through.
I feel like,
it's like euphoric.
Like, you know, it's just being with you,
is just a feeling I just really
there's like there's no words to really
put on how I feel, because I just feel like
the words don't exist.
But, I feel like our love is very beautiful,
and organic, and just so natural.
And, again, easy.
- Which is weird, 'cause it's easy between us.
But it's not easy in, like, a greater sense.
- Yeah, it's a lot all at once
- Yeah, like even
- It's like
- Even without our families, like it's
- "Why is it so easy?"'
Right!
It's like something that has been so
hard for me is just so easy with you.
And it just, I think it allows us to be our
like, best selves and have our best relationship
because we consider each other
we care about each other, you know.
We're very intentional with, you know,
making sure the other person feels heard
and loved and all these things.
- Yeah
Crazy.
- Yeah.
If this were to be our last conversation,
what's something you never want me to forget?
You got it, baby,
- Um (laughs)
There's a lot.
It's hard to, like, nail it down, you know?
- Yeah.
- How much you mean to me.
I feel like I've told you before that
I never thought
I would come out to my family.
I knew that, like, this love
meant enough to me to potentially
like, put those relationships in jeopardy.
And I was
fully committed to doing that.
And, like, fully ready to do that once I
- Which I, I kinda didn't even really
want you to, because of that.
You know I always just wanted
you to be good in every aspect.
- Yeah.
- So that was like something I was kinda dreading.
- Yeah.
- Especially to share it with your dad.
- Yeah, it taught me, like,
"Okay Whitney, you need to be an adult."
And like, phew.
And it's okay!
And that was the biggest thing, too,
like "Whitney you're so upset
"about these things, but like it's okay.
"This part of you is not a bad thing."
- Right.
- And then how we just went
and now I love you more than anything.
- Want me to answer?
- Yes!
- Yeah, same.
I would just
let you know I love you
and that you mean the word to me.
And that there's nobody else I would
have wanted to do this with
other than you.
- Good.
I love that (laughs)
Do you know hard its been for me
to sit across from and not, like,
be touching you?
- Touching, I know.
- (laughs)
- Very difficult.