It may seem like a long shot
that someone would just come forward with a piece of evidence
that would blow this whole thing wide open
and hand the election to Donald Trump, but guess what?
Last night,
that's exactly what happened-ish.
A woman claiming to be a Nevada poll worker
telling Laura Ingraham last night
about the fraud that she says she witnessed firsthand.
(distorted): I went out to go for a walk on my break,
and I probably had a, uh,
150, 175-foot stretch
where I was walking.
The-the Biden van was parked along this stretch,
and I was walking to it.
So, about 150 feet. I was walking,
and I could see these people hand over
what appeared to be white envelopes.
Just hand over onto this table.
And as I got closer,
the envelopes were being torn open.
There were two men
or two people dropping the envelopes
and two people ripping them open
and turning and facing the van
and drawing on them or marking them.
And as I walk by, one of them looks at me,
and the whole line moves as I walk by them.
And it scared me.
Oh, my God!
Fox News found T-Pain.
I wondered what happened to him.
Seriously, I don't know what that was,
but that voice sounds like what a robot sounds like
when they go through puberty.
And don't worry, Jared. Any day now.
It's gonna happen any day now.
And, look, I understand why that whistleblower was scared
and they wanted to hide their identity.
I mean, vote fraudsters are some of the most dangerous,
violent criminals around.
When they get put in prison,
they find the biggest, baddest dude in the prison yard,
and they vote right in his face.
(exhales) Dangerous.
Also, it's crazy that you...
Sorry, hold on.
Okay, my control room is telling me
that there's another anonymous poll worker
who wants to tell us about election fraud.
Wow! This is really weird,
because I don't have a control room or an earpiece.
But I want to get to the bottom of this,
so joining us now in a Daily Show exclusive
is an anonymous poll worker.
(distorted, high-pitched): What up, African?
(stammers, clears throat) I mean, hello, Trevor Noah.
We have never met.
Okay. That's a little bit weird,
but thank you so much for joining us.
Let's get straight into this.
You say that you have witnessed voter election fraud?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was crazy. It was crazy, man.
So, I was down-- I was down in Philadelphia, right?
I'm counting ballots down in Philadelphia.
I look to my right.
It's a dude wearing a Joe Biden T-shirt,
and he tearing up ballots for Donald Trump.
And I asked him, I go, "Hey, bro, what are you doing?"
He said, "I'm committing voter fraud for Joe Biden."
It was crazy.
Said it just like that.
Wow. That is really crazy and very specific.
And it wasn't just that.
I looked to my left, and there was Joe Biden.
Joe Biden was standing right there in the Philly--
Joe Biden was standing right there with a bunch
of Black Panthers. They were xeroxing ballots.
And I said-- I said, "Hey, man, ain't you Joe Biden?"
He looked at me. He said, "Shh.
Yes. This is a true story."
And so then I was so messed up by that, man.
I was so messed up by that,
I went out to the parking lot to take a smoke, right?
And I'm out in the parking lot. There's a karate sensei.
This karate sensei had all his karate students.
They had all the Donald Trump ballots.
They had 'em all stacked up,
and they was chopping 'em, like-like wooden boards.
(exclaiming, grunting)
Chopping up ballots for Trump, man.
I'm telling you what I saw. I know what I saw.
Okay, e-enough of this.
Roy, I know it's you.
No, no, it's not me.
This is not Roy.
It's you. I know by your kara-- I know by your karate chop.
Only one person does karate chops like that.
It's you, Roy. Just turn on the-- Turn on his lights.
I know it's-it's Roy.
Th-That's not me. That's not m...
(regular voice): It's not...
Hey, hey. Trevor, what's up, man?
You was just talking to the poll worker that was here?
That's crazy.
-Crazy seeing you... -Roy, what are you-- what are you--
Roy, what are you doing?
What are you doing? I know you're not a Trump supporter.
Why would you be working with him to undermine the election?
(stammers) First off, no, no,
I'm not-- I'm not a Trump supporter, bro.
But I am a supporter of getting a million dollars.
I'm-a tell you that right now.
You saw what that dude from Texas said.
Hell, I'm trying to get paid. You crazy.
Roy, this is unethical though, man.
You're-you're helping to spread claims of voter election fraud.
It's gonna undermine America's democracy.
All right, I didn't think about that, Trevor.
I-I didn't-- I didn't think about that.
And you are right.
This election-- You know, America's democracy
is too valuable to risk losing its integrity
over a couple of false allegations.
All right. I take back everything I said, man.
-Thank you so much, Roy. -I take back-- That's it.
-Thank you very much. -If Joe Biden gives me
-a million dollars. -Roy. No, Roy,
there's no money. You know what, cut-cut his camera.
-Cut this. We're done. -There's money. There could be money.
There could be-- Hey! Turn my lights back on!