Hey guys,
if you've ever been heartbroken by a woman
you know the words I love you
don't necessarily mean
she love you.
Because sometimes she's so sweet
you can't believe you got so lucky.
And other times
she's a cold fish
torturing your soul
and you're like does she actually really love me
or not so much.
Now, the truth is
men and women fall in love
and express love differently.
Men and women are different.
Dare I say that in this day and age.
So, let's explore
these things women do
when she truly loves you.
Why you can't rely on I love you
and how to get
and keep a keeper,
welcome to just the tip Tuesday.
Okay, so this is a long list
and not every woman
who truly loves you
is going to display
all of these qualities
but the more of these traits she does have
the more likely she does love you.
One, she lights up
when she sees you.
For example,
did you like that?
If your girl
goes from resting *** face
to fluttering falsies
and twinkly eyes
that's a good sign.
Hint, did you know
that pupils dilate,
expand when we feel amorous
toward the person we're with.
So, if she's giving you big doe eyes
that's a good sign
she loves you.
Two, she smiles more around you
and or laughs more around you
or laughs at your jokes.
If she is
giggly and you may not know this
because she's always giggly and smiling
around you
then you don't know a difference
in her personality with other people.
But if she's laughing and smiling
and giggling around you a lot
then that's a pretty good sign that
she really enjoys being around you.
As well,
if she laughs
at your corny jokes
that's a good sign
that she's feeling amorous toward you.
Extra bonus point,
if she tells you
hey, tell the story
about the skunk that went into the bar
because she knows
it makes you happy
to tell that story,
huge green flag.
Three, she wants to know
everything about you.
Not because she's insecure
or wondering what you're up to
but because she wants to know you better
than anybody else has known you before.
She's trying to get
emotionally closer to you,
intimacy into me see.
As long as
she's not just trying to get information
to use it against you,
which brings us to number four.
She wants to make you happy.
So, part of her wanting to get to know you
and everything about you
about your feelings and experiences
is because she wants to avoid
the things that actually hurt you,
she wants to make you happy.
For example,
let's say you're a little insecure about your
muscularly challenged calves,
she doesn't tease you about it
but if you bring it up she says
you're perfect for me,
God made you especially perfect for me
I love your body.
Number five,
she sacrifices for you.
Now, everyone in a relationship
is going to compromise
for the other person
at some point in time
or at least they should.
But if she truly loves you
sometimes she's going to actually
sacrifice for you.
What is sacrifice?
Sacrifice is
one person loses
the other person gains.
Compromise is when both lose a little bit
and gain a little bit.
Sacrifice is all for you.
So, for example
let's say you had plans for Friday night
but your buddy from high school
or college or uni
shows up and it's kind of unexpected
and he's only here for one night
and they're having a get together.
She says babe,
I have you all the time
go and catch up with your friend,
that is sacrifice,
a minor sacrifice but still counts.
Number six,
she makes an effort
with people you care about.
You're important to her
so the people that are important to you
are important to her.
Example, let's say she's not
so keen on that group of friends
but you want her to come with you.
So, she goes with you
and tries to make an effort,
which brings us to number seven.
She's your bff.
She's your best friend
whether you're having a stellar day
or a crap day
she wants to share
your life's experiences with you
and be there for you.
You feel comfortable
and at ease with her
even if you're not really doing anything.
Number eight, she encourages
and supports your goals.
So, she is your biggest cheerleader
especially on the days where
you might feel a little discouraged
or disheartened about your progress
or what's happening or
obstacles and difficulties.
She knows how important your goals are
so, she helps you remember
how strong you are
on the days where you're not
feeling that driven
or that strong.
Number nine, she accepts
your flaws and weaknesses.
She knows you're not perfect
she knows she's not perfect.
She helps you
not focus so much on your flaws
when you really shouldn't.
Example, maybe you think you're not smart enough
to handle that upgrade course.
She's like babe,
I know you can do it
you're smarter than you give yourself credit for
and all you can do is try.
That's a winning statement.
Ladies if you're watching
deliver more of the winning statements
it means a lot.
Now, fellas stick with me because there is a time
where she will focus on your flaws
and that's actually a good thing.
But for now number 10,
she defends your honor.
If someone's talking trash about you
she sticks up for you
especially if you're not even there.
Now, you may not know about this
but sometimes you might find out
maybe a friend says,
you know man, Julie's really got your back.
Ashley's really got your back
that's true love.
Number 11, she makes
you and your feelings a priority.
This isn't to say she always puts your needs
ahead of her own
that would be unhealthy.
But she does consider your feelings
and makes them important.
And your feelings are definitely
more important than anyone
outside the relationship.
Example, let's say some of her friends
aren't quite sure about you just yet,
she's like sorry Sheila
this is my man
don't disrespect him,
maybe she doesn't say it like that.
But she says hey, he's my man.
12, is nurturing
but not mothering
or smothering.
If you're sick,
she make you noodle soup
or does something else kind for you.
But she doesn't
get on your case
about doing all that outside work in the rain
not properly dressed for the weather, mothering.
13, she appreciates your efforts
and doesn't take you for granted.
Example, when you pay for a meal
whether it's the first time
or the 50th time or the 500th time,
she is graciously appreciative,
thank you so much.
Even better
if she mentions it later
when it's not even
in the moment
she brings it up hey babe,
I just want to let you know
I really appreciate
that you pick up the tab for dinners.
I know I cook at home
or I know I buy the groceries or whatever
but it really makes me feel feminine
when you are so chivalrous.
She says that later on
she's extra thinking about how much
she appreciates you.
Now, that might be a sign she truly loves you.
14, okay here's the surprising one,
she calls you out
on bad behavior.
Why I know.
Sometimes you are sabotaging yourself
and you don't even know it.
So, she gently calls you out
on behaviors that are not
serving you.
Never mind her
but they're not serving you
then that's actually a sign
she might really love you.
She wants to see you do your best,
she doesn't want to see you falter and
I was going to say get down on yourself
yeah, I'll just leave that one alone.
Anyway, let's say
you know you've been looking for a job
and I've used this one a lot
but it's because it's so common,
and maybe you're wearing your sweaty sweats
a little too often
and you kind of
have giving up on yourself a little bit.
Maybe she says something like
example, babe you'd feel a lot better
if you got back to the gym.
Or if you're
really feeling sensitive about it
sensitive and insecurities she might be
even more tender
and sneaky in a loving way
and say you know I'd really love to go
for a hike this weekend
would you come with me?
Bonus extra points if she says
you can save me from the cougars
so I’m not the only one out there...
I think cougars.
So, if she does that in a subtle way
so you don't feel like she's
criticizing you
or unsatisfied with where you're at
it's because she actually loves you
she cares about you and your well-being.
And along those lines number 15,
if she subtly shares
her suggestions
that are for your well-being.
When you're struggling
with a decision or a direction
she tries to find out
what matters to you
not so much
how it'll affect her.
Now, obviously you want to be doing
some of these things for your lady too
or other things that she needs
but this is
what we show each other
when we really love the other person.
Where does this come from?
Comes from respect of course.
All right, let's move on
let's use an example on that one,
you're trying to decide
because you do care about her.
You're trying to decide if you want to take this job
that's kind of
a longer commute from where you are right now,
whether or not you guys are living together.
And she knows that you actually
would do really well by choosing
to take this job.
She might say something like
hey babe, I work from home
I can feel at home anywhere
as long as I'm with you.
That covers a lot of these
check marks self-sacrifice
or at least, compromise.
She's going to have to move potentially
and seeing what's in your best interest.
Number 16, she's vulnerable with you.
Here's what I mean by that
she shares her
insecurities, vulnerabilities,
fears, and inadequacies with you
because she trusts you
with that information.
For example,
let's say she's a little insecure
about putting on a few extra pounds.
Or maybe she's getting older
and she's insecure about aging.
Or the new young girl at the office
common insecurities with women.
Instead of acting out
or taking her insecurities
out against you
in some passive aggressive way
that you can't figure out.
She just tells you
how she feels because
number 17,
she trusts you
with her secrets
whether it's about her flaws
that she thinks she has
or things that she's done in the past
that she regrets or is ashamed of.
She's okay with sharing
that information with you
because you've displayed
and proven to be
gentle and tender and understanding
knowing we all have flaws.
We've all done things in the past
that we probably wouldn't do over again.
At the same time number 18,
she's afraid of losing you
not because she's insecure
and doesn't think she could get somebody else
but because
she can't imagine life without you.
For example,
let's say you work a dangerous job
with a lot of chemicals
and you work long hours
she's going to want to make sure
you get enough sleep
so that you don't put yourself at risk.
So, it's not just about
losing you to someone else
but it's also about wanting to make sure
that you stick around long enough
to be with her
in the golden years
because she wants to be with you
in the golden years.
Okay, I’m going to give you the biggest sign
that she probably loves you
and then I’m going to share with you
why you can't rely
on I love you.
Number 19, she sticks with you
through rough times
that's a big one.
Now again, that's not to say
she becomes apathetic
if there's something that can be done
to remedy the situation.
But she does try
to encourage you
instead of criticizing,
condemning, or judging you.
Okay now,
when I love you
is and isn't a good sign
that she truly loves you.
All right, a lot of you guilty of this one.
If you say
I love you to her first
she might just say it back
to avoid an awkward situation
hoping that she'll truly
feel that way one day
wait there's more.
If you're always the one
to say
I love you first
this may still apply
unless she also displays
many of the traits
in the list I've just given you.
Some women have a hard time saying those words.
Some men have a hard time saying those words
but don't rely
on the words in and of themselves
if they're not actions
accompanying those words
to support them.
As well,
she might say I love you
or use some of these traits
in a manipulative way
to make you think she loves you
if she's emotionally damaged
and she wants attention,
forgiveness, or favors.
Now, if you've ever had your heart broken
stomped on
without any consideration
you know what I’m talking about.
But there actually
are really good women out there
I know it's crazy but it's true.
You just need to know
how to find, attract, and keep them
and how to do that
is by getting my wake up to love program.
I'll give you the step-by-step map
to the love meadow.
It's not easy
there's a ton of homework
it's not for the faint of heart
but it is worth it.
Because nothing changes if nothing changes.
Nothing changes
if you don't change.
Thanks for being here, God bless.
(Music)