i remember back when i was 22 years old i was just a young buck with uh perfectly non-gray hair they
call that brown hair and i was casually dating this girl uh for maybe a couple months because you
know i was a young kid i didn't know what i was doing and i decided on this given night that i was
gonna go out i was gonna go out with the boys she wasn't invited and she knew that and she didn't
like that i could definitely tell but i went out with the guy friends i wasn't doing anything bad
i was just being a stupid 22 year old kid and i remember by the end of the night i silenced
my phone most of the time anyways whenever i you know live but this was almost 20 years ago
she had called me legitimately over 20 times like just kept calling me kept calling me and at the
time i just put her in the total crazy camp okay i was like you are just the type of woman i will
avoid like to play for the rest of my life but in hindsight looking back on and now knowing
everything i know is part of love strategies she just had an anxious attachment style and
you know this is not and of course i wish if you're watching this video and that was you please
just know that i'm here for you i'd be happy to guide you in this area of your life and you're
certainly not crazy a lot of our clients struggle with this particular attachment style so in this
video right now i'm going to be talking about three strategies that you can use to avoid giving
into those tendencies if you have an attach an anxious attachment style or you seem to when you
date you are a little bit more on the needy side these strategies are going to help you navigate
your love life and set you up for ultimate success but first we have to talk about what exactly
is an anxious attachment style well an anxious attachment style is pretty much what it sounds
it is basically that you are anxious while you are dating you tend to want to control things you
tend to be very uncomfortable when there's space in the relationship or when you're not together
and ultimately you just tend to be a little bit more needy in relationships i don't like that
word but there's not much of a better term that i think quickly clicks with people and a lot of this
most of it stems from our childhood having parents who are inconsistently affectionate or there for
you and all of this is kind of echoed into our dating life later in life now i'm not a licensed
therapist and if you do think you struggle with an anxious attachment style i recommend that you do
go see a therapist because what a therapist will do is help you look back into your past
to understand why it is that you do the things that you do that is helpful but that's only
one part of the equation then what it is that i do is i think about the future i'm a coach i'm a
strategizer a lot of therapists don't do that what we do is think about what strategies and
tactics can we use to set you up for success so if you do have an anxious attachment style
i recommend seeing a therapist along with these strategies so i'm going to talk about this in
context of what we call the little love steps because that's how we teach everything that we
do for single women at love strategies so for starters the first thing that you really want
to make sure you're doing is until you are in an exclusive committed relationship with a man you
need to continue talking to other people at the same time people with anxious attachment styles
they tend to get the dreaded disease that we call oneidas that is when you like someone a lot you
focus all of your energy on that particular person and you get on these blinders you're not able to
see outside of just that one particular guy that's okay if you're just if you're in an exclusive
relationship but if you are still just talking to the guy and you're in the early stages of dating
getting to know each other we call it the dating dance then you really need to force yourself to
go out and explore other options that's why in little of step number three that is what it's
all about is getting out there and continuously meeting multiple men at the same time and our
clients who have uh an anxious attachment style we actually have them keep track of the number of new
guys that they are meeting on a regular basis so that they don't fall into this trap of one
nightis so that is the first most important thing if you're not exclusive with that guy
by definition you are still single and if you're still single keep getting out there and meeting
new people then we get to little love step number four which is where we qualify your dating options
that is where you are the qualifier you are the prize that he is begging to win over and this is
all about mindset going out with a particular guy realizing that he is the one actually pursuing you
he is the chaser you are the chooser let me repeat he is the chaser you are the chooser and by having
this mindset that says i am the prize and you know what if he is not investing in me then i am not
going to invest in him that mindset sets you up for success in these situations and something you
need to be reminded of constantly over and over and over again that's why we have our community
our support but maybe in your life if you're not in love accelerator maybe you have someone in your
life to continuously remind your you and hold you accountable to the fact that you deserve something
great you are the prize and you are the qualifier throughout the dating process okay and a lot of
women i think forget this stuff they think that men have all the power when it comes to dating
heck no women have the power so long as they have this qualifier mindset okay so that's a little off
step number four and then once we get to little of step number five that is when we start to pace the
progression of our connections it's at this point that we actually slow things down even further
okay and even if a guy is trying to move things faster he's trying to see you more often he's
trying to text you more often usually if you have an anxious attachment style what's gonna happen
you give in and you go for it you start seeing this guy every single day or every single weekend
and before you know it you're basically living at his house until one day he wakes up and he's
like whoa you are moving way too fast have you ever had something like that happen if that has
then what i want you to do is instead of giving in to a guy if even if he wants to see you a lot see
you all the time and spend all this time together if you're not yet exclusive with him i want you
to pace things i want you to be the one slowing things down i want you to be in charge of your
own love life because you are a high value woman that is what we do when we work with women who
struggle with an anxious attachment style a lot of it is changing their strategy and their tactic
when it comes to dating but a lot of it is also just reinforcing these ideas of the little love
steps so that when they are actually in that situation when they really like a guy and they
start to give in to those anxious attachment style tendencies we say hey hold on a second let's get
real and remind ourselves of one thing you're not yet exclusive with this guy that's play cool
you are the high value woman so hopefully that's helpful for you do you struggle with any of these
things have have you ever used any strategies or tactics that have helped you really avoid
those anxious attachment style tendencies leave a comment right there below and if you enjoy the
videos just like this give it a like subscribe do all that good stuff because i'm trying to create
more authentic content just like this that i think can help you through every single stage
of attracting love and keeping love thank you so much for watching i'll speak to you very soon bye