When I wrote this it was the last writing session of a month and a half of intense writing.
With like different people different producers.
And I was very burnt out.
I was completely out of ideas.
All of the them had just been used, or just like not good enough.
I kinda went in there and was like, "guys I don't really have any ideas.
Can we just tell a story?
Can we maybe do some sketch melodies and maybe something will come of that."
We just wanted to tell a story about denial and pretending you're not thinking about someone
when you obviously are.
There was a keys player in there and he was just playing the same four chords over and
over again.
And we didn't bother to record it once and then loop it, he was literally just playing
the same four chords for seven hours.
We were singing over, hundreds and hundreds of melodies.
And that was kind of the one that stuck.
Like the first one that came was, " I was telling my friend I'm cool, I finally,"...
like this kind of fast syncopated melody that we really liked.
From the start of the song it's just instant denial.
It's instant like, she's completely out of my head, telling all your friends that I'm
fine guys, I'm over her.
When you know, you're obviously not.
Yeah I'm over her but if I'm walking and I see something that reminds me of you, I can't
deal with that, I'm going to have to take the long way home.
I mean in this lyric specifically, you're seeing them maybe at a party and you go up
to them just to say, "how are things" and they have just completely moved on.
Like that is heartbreaking, to see someone who you're still getting over has completely
moved on and they are already onto the next person.
That would like break you, and would break me.
I get very attached very quickly.
If I like a girl I'm obsessed.
And I kind of, that's a bad trait I feel like.
I find it really hard to get over people, so if I really like someone I instantly think
there's no one else in the world that I would like.
Tobias Esto Jr, the other writer in the room, one of the other writers, he just asked the
keys player to stop playing one chord and then kind of stopped it and then sang the
duh, duh, duh, you.
And then we were just like, yeah that's it.
And we 100% knew that was the lyric, the lyric was gonna be you, but we didn't know like
how it would get to that.
But we just knew that it would be that.
At this point, you're not even denying anymore, you're just blatantly saying things that you
like about her.
If I see someone that I'm still getting over, and she's not getting over me and she's with
another guy.
I have to look, I can't not look away.
I can't leave 'cause that's just even more sad, to just, I'm outta here.
So I kinda have to just like, yeah it's tempting to kinda just look there and kinda gaze and
see what we could have been.
So the bridge is the last hoorah, of just saying I'm all in.
I'm done pretending.
I'm thinking about all the times we had, all the great moments that I cherished.
But you still wanna block it out, you still want that in you because that just makes getting
over her so much harder.
So in the first two choruses the lyric is, "I'm not thinking about about you."
And that changes at the outro, 'cause you say, "I don't want to think about you."
So you're telling everybody that, yeah I am but I still want you and all the memories
out of my head.