- [Junior] No, you pay good money for a shoelace.
No need to throw the whole thing away.
- Let me try it.
- Oh, sorry, hi.
I'm just dropping by, uh, confessing to a murder.
Basically, there was a death.
A man was murdered in Thailand three months ago.
It's on the Interpol site,
and I am racked with guilt, can't sleep.
And I'm here to just confess and, you know, put my,
put the bracelets on me or...
Call 'em bracelets, right?
I was watching some cop show and they call 'em.
- Handcuffs.
- All right.
- What did you do? - What'd you do?
- Bludgeon a man to death three months ago in Thailand.
It's on the Interpol website.
And these are the war hammers that did it.
And I'm here to confess.
- What was your name again?
- Last name is Coe, C-O-E.
- C-O-E.
- And then my first name is Jillett.
- Coe.
- J-I-L-L-E-T, there's not an E on the end,
and there's a hyphen.
- I wasn't even listening, sorry.
- Hyphen Ben, Gillette-Ben.
- Gillette-Ben.
- And then last name is Coe.
- Cindy, could you get me through to...
- Thailand, country of Thailand.
- The Department of Justice?
We have got a detainee who has confessed
to a murder in Thailand, Mr. Jun Deep.
- Yes, sir.
Uh, two deputies to fly him to Thailand.
Yes, sir, we don't have a plane here at the Reno....
We'd fly first class to Thailand.
- Do all three of us. - Do I get to go?
(upbeat music) (plane engine roars)
- Have a seat. - Okay, we're clear.
- Come on in, welcome aboard.
Welcome aboard. - Clear.
- I'll be 3A,
Yeah, which is the window.
- All right, just twist.
Can you go maybe down under-hand there?
Okay, that's good.
No, that's good, that's comfortable.
Okay, how long has this flight?
- It's 14 hours, but regardless, sir,
we can't have you in this situation, it's not safe.
- No, we're first class, we are first class.
- I understand.
- Why don't you to switch over here so that he gets here?
- I don't mean to be rude,
but then we're at the same problem
where this is not safe for you guys.
You're already up, sir.
Why don't you head up over here?
I would insist, sir, that would be...
- But wait, 3B, 3B.
- Do we get charged to change seats?
Is there like a $50 like one of them fees that they do?
- Of course not, no.
- 'Cause on Greyhound, when you switch seats...
- They, they do charge.
- Yeah, they do, they do 35 bucks.
I wanna have the aisle seat.
- Great, if you can just have a seat, relax,
we'd love to get your beverages and get started.
- Yes?
- Hey. - Hi.
- How you doing? - Great, nuts?
- Yeah. - Whoa, (laughs) okay.
- Hey, these are warm.
- Yes, they're toasted.
- On purpose? - Yes.
- Toasted nuts, warm nuts.
- Just don't run with it.
- My associate Jones needs his nuts warms, please?
- Oh, you need your nuts warms?
Here I'll get it for you. - Absolutely.
- Goodie, goodie goodie bag. - No, no.
- I just got a little goodie bag.
- I got socks!
- I'm going open it and see what's inside,
'cause I got a goodie bag, tissues.
- I don't want, I don't want, no, how much is that?
- It's complimentary.
- Complimentary meaning?
- Again, free.
It always means free, here.
- Could I get a vodka martini please?
Shaken, not stirred, a little dirty with two olives,
and put a shot of Jagy in here.
- Oh, okay.
♪ Caribbean queen, now we're sharing the same dream ♪
♪ And our hearts will beat as one ♪
- Excuse me, hi, could you just please keep it down?
♪ Caribbean queen, and we're sharing the same dream ♪
- I go high, you go low.
♪ And our hearts will beat as one. ♪
- Yeah. - We all went low.
- Could you stop singing?
- Oh, mile high club! - Whoo!
- All right, which one of you masturbated in the bathroom?
- Not me, I was cuffed to a law man.
- Mirror is a mess.
- That don't count, that don't count.
- That counts, that totally counts.
- That don't count! - Of course it does.
Does that count?
It counts.
- You know, for a guy who's being extradited
for crimes in Thailand, you're pretty (bleep) weird.
- Well, I've never been to Thailand. (laughs)
This guy, this big old guy, got murdered in Thailand.
Someone bludgeoned him.
And I just said, know what I'm gonna do?
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna confess.
I put my hand up, and I thought,
I'll get a plane ride with drinks and gifts.
I didn't think it was gonna go this far,
and here I, here we are.
We's having drinks, and he made himself happy
in the bathroom and all this free stuff.
And look at all these little
little tiny soldiers on my armrest.
It just worked out.
(all laugh)
- We're going to Thailand!
- We're gonna keep an eye on you every minute.
- Oh you better, look at that.
- [Guys] Thailand, Thailand, Thailand!
- Please quiet, okay, you three-
- Hi. - Hi.
- You're being ejected from the plane.
- What? - Yes.
- You're gonna turn this plane around?
We're already halfway there!
We're still on the ground.
Okay, we haven't left the gate.
You've gone through six bottles of champagne in 28 minutes.
- Ooh.
(bleep)
- Yeah.
- Our bad. - Our bad.
- And the Marshall's already out there?
- Yes.
- All right, hang on, hang on.
I will just.
- Sorry everyone.
- I made two puppet friends.
- No, no.
- Please exit quickly.
- That's okay.
- Quickly please.
- Already cuffed, saved the Marshall
a little bit of work here. - Quietly.
- All right. - All right.
- Oh, hang on, let me, let me, let me
grab onto the bottom of your coat.
- Just goodbye. - Goodbye.
- So sorry, everyone, we'll be taking off shortly.
Thank you for your patience.
- Muppet Show. - Goodbye.