Hi everyone. I'm Jennifer from English with Jennifer. Do you always say exactly what you're
thinking? I doubt you do. As we grow up, we learn to restrain ourselves from saying the first thing
that enters our head. That's because sometimes our comments would be inappropriate or unappreciated.
Or we may hold back because we know it's not the time or place to go into detail about something.
For these kinds of situations, there are a number of expressions we can use.
Let me help you learn and practice expressions for showing restraint in conversation.
Sometimes we don't want to say the truth straight out. We soften it for whatever
reason. Let's say you have a friend who reacts like this to a suggestion.
Don't tell me what to do. This is your friend, not mine. I don't know the guy, so I say,
"I take it he's not quite open to advice." You say, "That's putting it mildly."
In other words, my assessment or statement is true, but not accurate. The situation is
actually worse. We could use stronger, harsher words, but we choose not to.
Don't tell me what to do. The truth is the guy is probably being hardheaded, stubborn,
and unreasonable. Maybe he's too emotional, but to avoid that harsh criticism, I say,
"Well, to put it mildly, he seems like he's not quite open to advice."
We can use "to put it mildly" in our own statements,
or we can react to someone else's statement by saying, "That's putting it mildly."
You come to us with no evidence, no record, no artifacts. Only a story that, to put it mildly,
strains credibility. I know we've never enjoyed a particularly warm relationship.
That's putting it mildly. I hate your guts. So, it's difficult. "Difficult" is putting it mildly.
Let me show you a woman who's sharing her feelings with someone. I don't know what to do.
I think you understand what she's feeling,
but you don't want to judge her too harshly, so what could you say?
"Upset" is the softest, weakest of the three.
Saying "she's slightly upset" is putting it mildly. I don't know what to do.
In another situation, maybe you don't want to reveal just how bad things are. Uh,
there's been a very, very slight delay.
What could you say so that the bride wouldn't panic? Well, to put it mildly...
The groom needs more time to get ready.
The reality? Maybe the groom is having second thoughts and doesn't want to go
through with the wedding, but do you really want to tell her that directly? Bluntly?
The opposite of "to put it mildly" is "to put it bluntly." Bluntness can hurt. It's direct
and the words are sharp. The bride would break down in tears if you said,
"To put it bluntly, he's not sure if he wants to marry you."
A similar expression to "to put it mildly" is "let's just say." What can you conclude
from this scene? Let's just say Bobby had some strong words for all of you.
B. Right? The woman isn't going to repeat Bobby's offensive words, but she wants to
convey that Bobby was angry and he used harsh words. Let's just say bobby had some strong
words for all of you. How might you play down or understate the man's feelings in this scene?
Moving to Florida? That's wonderful. I'm so happy...for you. I'm so happy for you!
C. Right? A makes no sense. B is true because he's overjoyed. He's relieved,
but that's not how this expression works. We need to choose the weaker option.
Moving to Florida? That's wonderful. I'm so happy...for you. I'm so happy for you!
We're playing it down, and we're choosing not to emphasize his extreme joy.
Let's just say he's happy that she's moving to Florida.
Can you think of conversations that you don't want to have or that you're tired of having?
In the U.S., the very mention of politics these days can lead to heated discussions,
mostly unpleasant ones, so if you're not in the mood to hear about gun laws, taxes, elections,
and political parties, you can say, "Don't get me started" or Don't even get me started."
The unspoken idea is that if you get the speaker started, you'll hear too much
or you'll hear things that you really don't want to hear. Mauricio, I got to tell you you got
issues. All right. Don't even get me started. So, Mauricio knows that he has problems to work out,
but he doesn't want to talk about them at the moment because it's too hard, too stressful.
We can also use this expression if someone enjoys talking about something, either good or bad.
They can talk at length, so it's a warning that if you get them started,
you won't be able to stop them. Well, actually our car broke down.
Would you mind if I used your phone? Oh, don't get me started on car problems.
Note how we can use the preposition "on" with this expression. Don't get him started on car
problems because he won't stop. Don't get him started on that or you won't hear the end of it.
Don't get me started on car problems.
What's something you might talk too much about? Friends and family might warn others about you
and say, "Don't get him started on that" or "Don't even get her started on that issue."
In my case, don't even get me started on home renovations. I can complain for a
full hour or more. Our final expression is "not to mention." It's a little different.
We can use it to add another point, and it strengthens what was already said.
We can use "not to mention" in a positive or negative statement.
It's huge. Oh, it's beautiful. Not to mention valuable. Real estate like
this is worth a fortune! You mustn't always think about money, Vincent.
What are they talking about and what's the final point made?
They're generally impressed with the property, and the one man, Danny Devito wants to mention that
this property is worth a lot of money. So, "not to mention" actually means, I'd like to mention this
because it's important. In fact, I could do more than just mention this briefly." So, there could
be some restraint shown. I'm adding another point but not necessarily going into detail about it.
Think about someone you like very much, someone that you're fond of, and tell me about
their finer qualities. For example, my 94-year old-cousin Gina is kind, generous, and funny,
not to mention the fact that she's healthier than many other Americans who are younger than she is.
The expressions we learned are: to put it mildly/that's putting it mildly,
let's just say, don't get me started/don't even get me started,
not to mention.
I hope you found this lesson useful. Please like and share the video with others.
As always, thanks for watching and happy studies! I'd like to say a special thank you to two
Kind-Hearted Patrons. Ellina and Omar both pledged $2/month. Thank you! Follow me on Facebook,
Twitter, and Instagram. Why not join me on Patreon? And don't forget to subscribe on YouTube!