hey everybody this is Steve, now let me ask you a question, do you struggle to
switch off from work? do you find that you're constantly thinking about work,
perhaps into the evening, perhaps even into the night? do you wish that you
could stop thinking about work? to be better at not thinking about work? well
look in today's ten-minute video, we're going to address that, and after watching
this you're gonna have some new ideas about how you can be better at switching
off from work and to stop thinking about it,
and stay with me to the end because in many ways I think that the last idea
I've got is the key one but we kind of have to go through the enabling ideas
first. and by the way if this interests you in any way, at all please do hit that
like button, and if you're interested in more 10-minute coaching bites then
please subscribe to the channel and don't forget to hit the notifications
bell. now as with many of the subjects that I talk about on this channel I have
done thinking about work like a champion, I've done not being able to switch off
for work like a champion. the things I'm showing today come from nearly 20 years
of studying neuro linguistic programming or NLP and spiritual forms of coaching
as well as practical psychology, so let's get going. now the first idea is don't
try and ignore it if your unconscious mind is tugging at your attention to
think about something. I know that our unconscious minds can be a bit of a
nuisance sometimes a bit like a demanding child perhaps but very often
when they are taking it at our attention they've got an important message for us.
maybe it's trying to remind us about something that we forgot to do or it's
trying to alert us to some potential danger ahead.
so rather than ignoring because really if you ignore it it just pulls at your
attention even harder. you may have experienced this,
the more you try to not think about something the more it consumes your
attention. so what's the remedy? well if you feel it tugging I should give it
some attention actually ask: what is the message that you have for me? and as I
say, maybe something like there's some danger ahead that you need to think
about, or it may be that you forgot to do something like you meant to phone
someone, that you meant to email somebody, but if you give it some
attention you'll be able to discover what that is and that will help you with
the next thing. and that next thing is to get whatever it is out of your head! now
if it's something that's quick and easy like maybe you just forgot to send
somebody an email and it wouldn't take you two minutes to send that email right
now, sometimes the best way to get it out of your head is to just do it right now.
it depends where you are, depends what you're doing, it depends if it's
convenient, and it depends you know how hard that's pulling at you. but it's not
the only way, because sometimes it's not practical it's not convenient to
just do something about it, in which case the next best way to get it out of your
head is to write it down. now I always carry, forgive the colors, it's a very
colorful notebook, but I always have a pocket notebook with me so that if I
encounter something that I need to write down to get it out of my head, I can
write it down. now you might ask why a notebook and not something like your
phone or your tablet. well you can use your phone or your tablet but I find two
things: one is that sometimes these things come up when you don't want to be
switching on an electronic device, sometimes they come up when your battery
is dead, sometimes they come up when you're in a train in a tunnel and
there's no network signal, so a notebook never needs a battery, it doesn't need a
backlight, it doesn't need the internet. and also I find that the act of
physically writing down the thing that you want to get it out of your head
actually helps get it out of your head. better than doing something electronic, I
don't know why, maybe it's past conditioning, but the fact of physically
writing helps.
now the next idea is to actually plan what you are going to do about the thing
that you've been thinking about. if you can't do something here and now. if you
don't want to do something here. in that because you want to be present with your
social or your recreational life. then taking a minute to just decide what you
are going to do about it and when will help you get it out of your head. and
help it stay out of your head. because if you can make a deal with your
unconscious mind about not just what you're gonna do but when you're gonna do
it, that's even more important, then it might stop tugging at you. so if it's an
action, something that you need to do then write down in your book what it is
and when you're gonna do it. if it's to email somebody and the first opportunity
you're gonna get is Monday morning then write down: I am going to email so-and-so
on Monday morning. be that explicit. but sometimes it's not an action, sometimes
it's just a fear or worry. now a useful thing to do here is ask yourself:
what is it I am actually afraid will happen? and it is definitely about the
what will happen, don't ask yourself: what am I afraid of? because that might invite
an obtuse answer. if you ask yourself what am I afraid might happen, I think
that's more useful because then you can ask: and is there something I can do
about that? is there something that I can do to mitigate the risk? is
there something I can do it to be ready if that happens? and if there is, that's
what you're gonna do and, again, write it down. I am going to do X at time .if
there's nothing you can do and sometimes it's going to be like, that then your
plan is actually to do nothing and you can write that down: I am going to do
nothing about this because there's nothing I can do, all I can do is see if
it shows up and respond to it if it shows up. and by the way even if your
plan is do nothing it's still worth writing that down, and still worth
acknowledging my plan is to do nothing, because there's an affirmative-ness
which brings closure, which thinking nothing or writing nothing down doesn't
give you.
the next idea is to put it into perspective, because when we're focused
on what's only right in front of us what's right in front of us seems like
everything and things become much more critical, but ask yourself this question:
what I'm worried about today, would I still be worried about it in a year's
time? actually put yourself a year ahead of now and look back and ask am I gonna
be worrying about this thing that I'm worried about now? the answer is probably
not go out five years put yourself five years in the future
and ask yourself it's this gonna seem as big a deal in five years as it seems now.
go ten years out, in ten years time is this gonna seem like the big deal that
it seems now? now it's not that I'm asking you to ignore what's important
right now, I'm not trying to dismiss it or belittle it you know. by all means act
on it by all means write down an action plan, but by asking yourself how you'd
feel about this thing in a year's time, in five years time, in ten years time, it
brings you a sense of perspective that might make this thing seem not quite the
potential for catastrophe that it might seem right now. now this idea is to learn
how to become present and everything that I've talked about so far it's kind
of a prerequisite to this, to not ignore when your unconscious mind has a message
for you, to get it out of your head, by getting it out of your head by
writing down what you're gonna do, and when you're gonna do it. now that you've
done those things and also put it into perspective of course you can become
present. now the art of becoming present mm-hmm well look we spend a lot of time
with our bodies and our heads in two separate places, my body might be here
but my head is someplace else, my head maybe is in next Monday, my head is in a
future presentation. now the art of being present is to come back to where you are,
to actually be in your own body right now. I know it sounds daft
potentially, but you know to put yourself back your body, to feel being in your own
body and become aware and conscious of what's happening now, not what might be
happening in the future, not what's happened in the past, but put your
attention on what is happening now, who are you with,
be present with them now, be present with what they're saying, what they're doing
now, be present with what you're doing and saying now. sometimes when we trance out in
front of the television, it's in those trance states that our head metaphorically
leaves our body and goes someplace else. bring it back. become present. practice
becoming present and if you get these things out of your head you'll be
a lot better at doing that. now I'd love to hear what your experience is with
coming down from work, relaxing from work, stopping thinking about work, not over
thinking about, please drop a comment to tell me about what your experience is and I'll
answer as many comments as I can. if this is something that you'd love to explore
one on one I would certainly love to hear from you, please my contact details
are in the pinned comment below this video. other than that please like the
video please share with your friends and most of all subscribe and hit that
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