Hey everyone, PushingUpRoses here and happy holidays. Or should I say
HORROR HOLIDAYS? (horror sting) One of my favorite things to do around Christmas is
watch questionable Holiday movies, I am just relatable. Because there are a million films
to choose from I decided to make it easier on myself and read some listacles on what people
deem the worst Christmas movies of all time. The first movie I found was Christmas is Canceled,
and it was so cringy that I couldn’t muster up the will to watch it, let alone write a review
on it. Blanche: “Ah I wish I were dead.” The second movie I found was Angel of Christmas,
a Hallmark movie so fraught with issues that I couldn’t look away. It should have been a
horror movie, but according to IMDB it’s a comedy romance, a RomCom, but according to the Hallmark
movie website, it’s a drama. It is not a drama. And it’s barely a comedy. It’s an abomination.
And speaking of horror, definitely be sure to watch this video to the
end to see something extra special by me.
Let me summarize this movie quickly, then we’ll get to the snark. Copy editor Susan wants to be
a newspaper reporter for her company, but her stories are rather lackluster. She finds her
family’s tree topper, a horrendous wooden angel statue with a curious history, and
decides to write about it. During her research, she meets two men who she must choose between:
Derek, a manilla envelope, and Brady, a quirky artist. Featuring: Typography by David Lynch,
Fake Messenger apps, paint face, 72 point font size, pushy parents, and cursed christmas baubles.
We begin our story with a flashback; This young man wants to woo the love of his life
with a huge wooden angel, but she doesn’t accept it. “The Fuck am I supposed to do with this?”
Cut to modern day where we meet Susan, who cannot figure out how her alarm clock works. She’s your
typical Scrooge, someone who just can’t get into the holiday spirit. But how is the film going
to show us that? Why, by having her NOT get the Christmas blend coffee of course. Barista: “It’s
just a thing for the holidays. People like it.” Well NOT ME I’M A GRINCH.
While waiting for her boring coffee, she meets Brady. Is this guy covered in coke? Brady: “I’m an
artist.” Oh. Well… my question still stands.
He puffs his chest out like a mating bird and orders the
holiday blend. Brady: “Extra Large” Uh oh War on Christmas.
Susan claims she loves Christmas, she’s just stressed because her boss called her in for a
meeting to discuss the story she pitched. Friend: “Oh, the one about Dog Weddings.”
Dog weddings. …Dog weddings. ….Dog Wedding
Unfortunately, her boss rejects the pitch then offers these encouraging
words. Boss: “Maybe you were meant to edit other people’s work. It’s a
compliment!” You’re not good at this, it's a compliment!”
Susan looks so deflated that her boss, Yvette, gives her a second chance. One
of her stories fell through so she asks Susan to write her a magical story about
Christmas. Susan expresses her gratitude by violently shaking Yvette's Christmas tree.
Later that day, Susan goes to her parents house to help them decorate. Mom: “You should
write about this.” I love this SO much because it reminds me of every parent who doesn’t quite know
what their children do, but they want to help SO badly. Like when I told my family I write videos
and they said “Ohh you should be on TV!” “Can you write for Saturday Night Live?” They try so hard.
Susan: “A story about an old piece of wood.” Hey, don't talk about your father that way.
Her mom says it’s filled with magic. Angel: BE NOT AFRAID.
She says she met Susan’s father while the angel was in her possession, and thus. Magical. I
guess this is supposed to be a tree topper but what tree is supposed to hold this eye sore?
The mom’s true intentions are revealed, as she says the angel might help HER find love. Mom:
“Preferably before the holdings, and someone special please.” Your worth
is based on whether or not you have a husband so get to work and give me some grandbabies.
Yeah cause this thing will definitely get you dates, sure.
The only thing Susan knows about the angel is that her great grandfather made it for a famous
actress, but when that didn’t work, he gave it to Susan's great grandmother. Smooooth. Because it’s
the only idea she has, she decides to investigate it further. She’s struggling though, and her notes
are not helping. Ugnnghhh ugh I just.. I don’t really have emotions… nnghgh. Later that night,
her TV magically turns on. Uh oh, ghosts! I knew it, there’s a soul trapped in this thing.
I would love to know what this messaging system they are using at this paper,
it looks AMAZING. In some kind of Christmas Miracle, Yvette likes her Angel Statue pitch.
She says it’s perfect, right before listing everything that is wrong with it. Yvette:
“Who was this actress? And it needs an ending.” So it has all these glaring
problems but other than that it’s perfect! She gets to work right away. Okay calm down
there John Madden. I can’t believe this thing is in her bag, it’s fucking absurd.
Her friend Haley asks if she wants to go to a gallery opening, and despite being reluctant,
she goes, Angel statue in tow. Well look who it is, paint guy! Brady: “Assistant manager
and artist in residence.” Okay, look. I’m a painter too, I am ALWAYS covered in paint,
but if I were a manager and artist at a posh art gallery opening I would look
nice for it. Come on Brady. Susan: “I don’t trust artsy types.” …Excuse me.
Meet Derek, an advertising executive who works at the paper with Susan. He also hates Christmas,
and they bond over their shared disdain. Susan: “I feel your pain.” Aw, they’re in
love. On the way home, Susan fantasizes about what it’s like to have a normal tree topper.
She runs into Brady yet again, and he asks her out for a drink - she hesitates but accepts,
deciding to take a break from… not working on her article even a little
bit. She opens up a little bit, telling Brady that she’s nervous about writing,
to which he gives this sage advice. Brady: “Enjoy the ride, let the destination unfold.” Great.
Susan asks Brady if he’d ever want to open his own gallery, but he likes his current
freedom. Brady: “I want to stay Liberated.” He shoots his shot again and asks her what she’s
doing the next night, but she politely declines a second date. He tries to play off his inquiry,
you know, casual. Brady: “I ask everyone what they are doing, maybe I am taking a poll!”
This guy is SO CRINGE, this is so awkward!!
The next day she goes to her grandfather’s house to get some more information about the angel,
they begin to go through old Christmas decorations. (kiss) Why is everyone so weird!?!
He begins to tell Susan the story of the angel, and right away, you can tell this story is
going to suck. He says his Dad hand carved it in the likeness of a Broadway actress he had
fallen for. Grandpa: “I remember him telling me about her long golden hair and beautiful lavender
eyes.” Lavender? No. No no. They look maybe a greenish blue, but definitely NOT lavender.
Owen: “I’m Owen Thomas, I’m visiting from Bethlehem, PA.” BETHLEHEM? Okay movie, okay,
reel it in. He asks her out, and she says yes. Susan says she would have filed a restraining
order. Grandpa: “never turn your back on love, Susie Q.” Especially to strangers. Sadly he
doesn’t remember the actresses name, but he does reinforce the idea that the angel is a magical
matchmaker - he had met his wife in a hardware store after he dropped it and had to do some
repairs on it. Nice fake paper, which microsoft publisher template is this? Derek comes by to ask
Susan out as the statue LOOMS over him in the background. She declines, thinking the angel
is swaying her away from him. Writing in a huge font to make your paper look bigger, huh Susan?
I know that trick, I used it when I was 12. Meanwhile, Brady tries to get her to go out
with him again. This woman is just being pulled EVERY WHICH WAY. Derek keeps asking her out,
Brady keeps asking her out like every 2 seconds, her mom wants her to find love, and her friend
wants her to get laid. Meanwhile, the statue falls off a table after she receives a text from Brady,
so that means love. Brady: “Glad ya came, why did you?” Because if I didn’t you WOULDN’T STOP
HARASSING ME. He takes her ice skating, and I feel like I have to point this out: It is snowing
CONSTANTLY. In every scene it is just COMING down aggressively, and yet it doesn’t pile up.
You’d think they were experiencing a snow storm, it NEVER ends, but the streets always look empty.
The next morning, Susan spills some coffee on Derek while trying to get the angel out
of her bag. She takes this as a sign that she should NOT go out with him, and I can’t believe
she needs the affirmation from a wooden figurine when she could just use her own eyes to see what
a dickneck he is. Derek: “Susan you can’t dry clean a tie, they are never the same.”
Yvette: “What happened to you?” Derek: “You could say I was touched by an angel.” Gross.
While Susan is admiring the other tree topper once again,
it starts to fall toward her and I legitimately thought this was going to
crash through the window. No reason for it, other than MAYBE IT’S ALSO MAGIC??
She relents to the power of these tree ornaments and texts Brady for a date.
She meets him at his gallery, and wow. Look at this genius. Bacteria on blue background,
my best work. They make some Christmas decorations together while sharing past
traumas. Susan: “He left me for a Yoga instructor. Brady: “My last girlfriend,
Anna? She said she'd rather be alone than be with me.” Susan: “ TRAUMA FIIIIGHT.
Aww, flowers! From your wooden Angel, Aww. Angel: “I LOVE SO HARD” The flowers are actually from
Derek, but Susan is preoccupied with Brady. Susan: “I saw Brady again last night.” (close
up on Haley’s reaction) They are making such a big deal about her being in a love triangle,
but the answer seems super clear to me. She could choose Brady, the one she has gone on
several dates with, or Derek, the one she’s gone on ZERO dates with. Hrmmm I don’t know.
Susan’s grandfather has found more pertinent information - after cleaning up his basement of
junk, he finds a blueprint for a cottage, and that sparked more memories about the Christmas Angel.
Thomas Owen invites his new love back to Bethlemen, he is giving her a year to have
fun in NY and then she can settle down with him in a cabin he’d built with his own hands. Seriously,
you’re asking her to leave a Broadway show? Have you lost your mind? She says no,
but has hope that in a year, she’ll say yes.
He also says that the angel is the reason Thomas met his true love - after the actress said no,
he tried to pawn it off on a church. Why is he holding it in a sheet?
Anyway, he meets a woman at the church who tells him to keep it because he made it,
and it’s special. She tells him to keep it for a year, and if it doesn’t bring him good luck,
the church will take it. Why is everything happening in one year increments? This
woman became Susan’s grandmother, who must have been a saint to want
to keep her husband's weird romantic gift, MADE in the likeness of his ex.
Later that night, Susan and Brady find an article about the Christmas Surprise, the show the actress
was in, with a photo of her Great Grandfather in front of the theater. In a stroke of true genius,
Brady tells her to google it. Susan: “Premiered in 1926 at the Orpheum Theater in Manhattan,
that’s all it says. It’s a dead end.” WOW, she closed that laptop so fast. Welp I tried!
Brady suggests they visit the theater, which is still there.
She meets up with someone who works at the theater. Guy: “If we’re going to
find anything it’ll be in here.” This box contains a laptop, which contains Google.”
They open the box and find an old playbill, starring Jessica Rose.
I cannot believe it is still snowing. I really can’t. While tree shopping, Brady asks Susan to
spend Christmas Eve with him at his parents cabin. Susan: “I can’t go away with you,
I’ve known you for like two weeks.” Well, at least she has SOME sense. Usually these
holiday rom coms cover a few days to a week span. Good for you girl, set those boundaries!
Derek: “Susan?” Susan: “Ah, haaah.” Uhhh ohhhhh. Time for an awkward encounter with Derek,
Brady asks, if he should be jealous. Susan: “of who?” Brady: “The male model looking,
condo buying office guy. PFFFFFFFFFT. MALE MODEL? Look, Derek is fine,
but MALE MODEL? My god this snow is SO DISTRACTING
Later that night Susan and Brady share a lovely moment where they
figure out they BOTH have a tradition of putting
their Christmas trees outside. I also put my tree outside KISS ME ART BOY
I love that this angel statue is so cumbersome and bulky that it
has been pushed onto this other lady’s desk. I am sure she appreciates that.
Susan continues to write her piece, and speculates on what happened that night at the theater. Derek
proves himself to be a nosy, pushy butthead and breaks her concentration to accuse her
of dating someone, when she told him dating was out of the question due to her deadline. Wow,
how can she pass up on this charmer? Derek: “You can’t dry clean a tie!!” He asks her out…again,
and she politely declines… again, and he gets all frustrated. Derek: “But I gotta
tell you… that angel…” You gotta tell her… nothing? What was that, where are you going?!?
On a date later that evening, Brady tells Susan he has an opportunity to open an art gallery,
but it’s in LA. Susan is happy for him and asks when he’s leaving,
but he implies he might be trying to leave himself open to other things,
like loooooove. Susan: “Who knows what we are.” This is so romantic. Brady: “I was
kind of hoping that you’d talk me out of this.” Give me ANY inkling that you like me.
Despite the conflict, Susan invites Brady to go tree shopping with her parents,
who are not very helpful with relationship advice. Mom:
“It might already be out of your hands.” Look, have a baby, wait a year and see how it goes.
Brady abruptly makes the decision not to go to LA, and Susan is strangely salty
about it. She says they should have talked about this choice together,
but then says “You don’t know me well enough to make such a major life choice like this.” So he
doesn’t know you well enough but you wanted to make the decision together. Susan asks to slow
down and take a break. Brady: “That jerk, who dumped you on Christmas Eve for his Yoga teacher?
I am not that guy.” (Record scratch) Wait. Susan: “I bet
she didn’t dump you on Christmas Day.” Brady: “The guy who dumped you on Christmas
Eve for his Yoga Teacher.” Susan: “Christmas Day.” Come on script, get your dates right.
That night at the Christmas party, Susan laments her break with Brady and her lack of ending for
her holiday article. She decides to dance with Derek and ALMOST kisses him, but the lights go
out. (angel) Yeah, it’s the angel. It’s always the angel. She takes this as a sign that she needs
to leave. I cannot express enough how absolutely useless this weird love triangle sub plot is; she
NEVER goes out with this wet blanket, and he never really gets in the way of her budding romance with
Brady - her career is more of an obstacle than this guy. Derek: “You can’t dry clean a tie!”
Susan tries to write the ending to her story,
though it does seem ambiguous. Let me help you out here, Susan. In conclusion,
as you can see, I have shown that the overall message of this tale is… the angel is alive.
The next morning, Susan gets a package. Oh it’s a painting, whatever could the subject
be. Oh GOD. The gift is… uh… just too much for her to bear and she decides to find Brady,
weathering this ongoing winter storm. She even purposely buys the winter blend coffee,
and just look at her reaction! Susan: “Mm!” So unnecessary.
At first Brady is less than enthused to see her, but he warms up and invites her in. She tells him
she wants to have a great Christmas Eve with him, no matter where their careers take them. He asks
how the article is going and she says “I don’t have an end but I am turning it in anyway.” Excuse
me WHAT? You wanted to be a writer, you begged your boss to work with you, she gave you another
chance, and you wanna turn it in unfinished? Cool cool cool, just fuck up my shit then.
Even though she doesn’t have an ending she goes to the study to polish things up. Yes,
write for me.. Write for me my ANGEL of CHRISTMAS
While trying to find a pen, Susan finds a bunch of old letters, addressed to Brady’s
great grandmother. “Your Great-Grandma’s name was Mabel McNutt?” (Laughing) MABEL MCNUTT? I CAN’T
The letters are sent from Bethlehem PA, and they figure out… yes. Susan’s great grandpa
was writing letters to Mabel McNutt - AKA, Jessica Rose, which was her theater name.
Oh but that’s not the end, oh no. There’s an even bigger reveal.
Remember those blueprints Susan found at her Grandpa’s house? Those were for THIS
COTTAGE. Woooooooow! “Sweet or creepy?” Brady decides not to go to LA and now Susan has the
perfect ending for her article. She sends it in on time and breathes a sigh of relief.
The next morning, Brady brings Susan a clearly fake paper with her story on the front page. And
it’s all thanks to that weird wooden angel. (Merry Christmas) MERRY CHRISTMAS MY CHILDREN (the end)
And that was Angel of Christmas, a movie that exists. It currently has
a 29% on Rotten Tomatoes, and here’s a review from Letterboxd. “Creepy.”
I hope you enjoyed this video, and I hope you are not too horrified by the
existence of this blatantly cursed statue. Please share
your cursed christmas statue stories in the comments below, and Happy Holidays.
Hey everyone, thanks again for watching my video on Angel of Christmas, what a wild ride. If you
want more content from me, I have a lot on offer, but first I want to wish a happy holiday to all of
my patrons - thank you for your continued support, because of you I bought my cat a christmas
gift. If you are interested in supporting the channel, please check out my Patreon campaign,
and if not, the best gift you can give me is the gift of a comment, share, or like.
If you want to see more from me, I have a few suggestions on the screen! On the right you
will find last year’s Christmas movie review, featuring Melissa Joan Hart and Jason Priestly,
and on the left you will find a video on the much under-appreciated Muppet
Family Christmas. Thanks again and as always, I will see you in the next one.