HOW TO RECOGNISE A FALSE FRIEND
“Who finds a friend finds a treasure” to quote a famous saying.
We all need friendships, but not everyone we see as “friends” can really be considered as such.
In this video, we will see a few simple tricks that will help us
understand if we’re dealing with truly sincere friends or simply opportunists.
1. Look for signs of egocentricity How do you feel after spending time
with your friend? Do you get to talk and open up to him, or was it a one way conversation in
which he was the only person talking, and every time you tried to participate you felt ignored?
Knowing how to actively listen is an important quality for building solid relationships.
If you make an effort to listen to a friend, but see they don’t reciprocate,
they probably aren’t a real friend. If, for example, you have good news to share,
an insincere friend probably won’t want to hear it because they prefer talking about themselves
or they immediately change the subject to something they find more interesting.
2. Take note if they’re jealous
Some people are excellent as long as you’re on an equal level.
However the minute you excel at something their real nature could come to the surface.
If they complain, tease you, roll their eyes at your successes trying to belittle them,
the friendship probably isn’t sincere like you thought.
Other signs of jealousy include suspecting that they’re always in competition with you
and they never genuinely compliment you for your success.
3. See how they react to your flaws
Nobody is perfect and a true friend should be prepared to give you a moment to breathe
and not continually remind you of your mistakes and comment on your flaws. If your conversations
always focus on your slip ups or your flaws, you might want to distance yourself from this person.
4. Do they keep promises or take you for granted?
Fake friends often tend to lie, don’t keep promises and disappear when you need them,
always taking it for granted that you’ll be there for them if the situation was reversed.
If you suspect that your friend belongs to this category, reflect on your relationship over the
last few weeks or months. If they continually disappoint you, you have to decide if it’s a
better choice to lower your expectations when it comes to your friendship or let them go.
5. Do they often make you feel guilty?
Do they respect your boundaries? Each of us has personal commitments,
whether they’re commitments our partner, hobbies or work commitments. A true friend understands
that you’re busy sometimes and that not having enough time to be in their company doesn’t
mean that you’re not considering them and they shouldn’t cause drama over a declined invite.
Be careful, especially if they expect you to always be at their disposal
but don't behave in the same way. 6. Do they keep your secrets?
If a friend speaks ill of other “friends” behind their backs,
there’s a good chance they’re also gossiping about you behind yours. See if your secrets
become public because of them. If this is the case, you’re probably dealing with a fake friend.
Last piece of advice: Be prudent when you confide in new friends.
Turn new acquaintances into deeper friendships by opening up and talking about yourself,
but don’t rush things. Don’t let your guard down and proceed slowly.
Opening up little by little is the safest way to establish new relationships.
Did you ever have a bad experience with someone you considered a good friend
and ended up disappointing you? If you’d like, tell us your story in the comments.
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