- I'm movie mama.
(laughs)
I'm movie mama.
This here is my best friend, Joel.
Today we'll be watching a movie he suggested,
I've never seen before.
- The most stunning you're gonna love it.
- What is it?
- "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything!", Julie Newmar.
- Ready or not, here comes mama.
- Do you love this movie already?
Gorg-wah-zee.
(snaps)
- She's a lady. - She's a lady.
- That chiffon though.
- Silk taffeta.
Rupaul's in a Confederate Flag gown.
First of all, her name is Rachel Tension,
she's been lowered in from the ceiling,
- [Rupaul] We have a tie.
- My mom had a friend that looked just like this
when I was growing up.
Her name was Valerie Cooper.
She was Patrick Swayze in drag.
Valerie if you're out there, where are you Valerie?
- (gasps) Naomi Campbell. - Naomi Campbell.
The most stunning Versace gown.
(gasps)
Oh, may he rest.
We've got to become drag queens and move to New York.
- That figure.
- She's been cinched.
- [Movie Character] To Wong Foo, thanks for everything
That's her mom, who won't speak to her anymore
because she's a drag queen.
- [Noxeema] When a gay man,
has way too much fashion sense for one gender,
he is a drag queen.
- A drag queen hen-nee.
- Oh my God.
I need to start wearing more--
- Those things, yeah.
I'm kind of turned on by him.
- Patrick Swayze?
- Yeah.
As a woman.
- I like that these drag queens
are not afraid to go full swimwear.
- If I ever get that rich, I'm getting an indoor pool
before I get an outdoor pool, for sure.
- [Vida] Hand off my dick, buddy.
- Amazing.
- Don't quote me.
- Oh my, deceased - Deceased.
- He's cute.
- That's the twin bro... you remember the twins
that were on "7th Heaven"?
I think that we need to start reading erotica to each other.
It feels like a lost art.
- Is that a--
- That's Stockard Channing's hus-bing, Stockard Channing's?
- Husbing? (laughs).
- Stockard-- - Stockard Hubs-bing--
- Stotch-er, Stah-cker, Stah-cher (laughs).
Stah-kerd Chan-nin (laughs) Chan-nerd (laughs).
Chan-nerd sounds like a non-cancerous tumor.
(laughs)
I'm having a Chan-nerd removed this weekend.
- Kinda hot. - That's Michael Vartan.
He was on Alias, he was in that Drew Barrymore,
"Never Been Kissed" movie.
Is this Noxzema's best look or her worst?
- Best. - Right.
- Please, my thong is so far up my ass right now that it's
- The thong? - About to come out of my mouth.
Well you wear those straps--
- Jock straps.
- They're like thongs but the opposite.
He looks like the ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine.
- Well I don't care.
(both gasp)
- Oh my God
- He loves her.
- He met her 20 minutes ago.
- Still.
- Let's move here.
Let's Google where this was filmed
and we'll pack our bags tonight.
- [Both Speak] And we'll read erotica the whole way.
(laughs)
Oh my God I love you.
(kisses)
The jeans on Bobby Lee though I think those feel right.
- That's what you've been trying to get me to buy.
- I want you in a high-waisted flair, you know?
This is a message of inspiration and power,
up-lifting, feel good.
Do you have some sort of facial hair growing? (laughs)
- [Blonde Woman] We all make strawberry pies you see
and we take 'em into the center of town,
then we eat the strawberry pies.
- Should we do this too?
I love the idea of having a festival revolving around pies.
- They look gorgeous.
(screams) I did it, so weird - It was horrifying.
- Do you want to hear a horror story?
- Yeah.
- My dad had awful hemorrhoids.
So, my dad is like, "I can't handle any more,
"I need to have them removed via surgery".
- A hemorrhoid surgery.
- Hemorrhoid surgery consists of someone
tying rubber bands around each hemorrhoid
and leaving them on until they suffocate
and turn blue and fall out.
I love boobies.
- Yours look great.
- Don't you ever wanna suck a booby?
- Underwear.
These girls are giving us glam in the bedroom.
Princess Diana (laughs).
This drink tasted like goat cheese.
I could fart right now.
- Go for it, I don't care.
- Should I?
- Yeah.
(farts)
Oh--
- Pause the movie (laughs).
- (singing) Kiss me. Kiss me. - (singing) Kiss me. Kiss me.
Don't we feel like, in film, in cinema, in modern cinema,
we're not seeing enough penis?
I think of you as an angel.
- [Movie Character] I think of you as an angel.
- Yes Ms. Annie.
Bitch you don't know the words.
- I know the whole words, bitch.
- Asymmetrical gown strapless, shoulder-length, love.
- What'd you think about the movie?
- Number one, we've got to start reading erotica.
Number two--
- (burps)
That's number two.
- Number three, this movie has got to be remade.
And happy pride.
- Thanks for watching (laughs)
(swooshes and squeaks)