I'm going to tell you in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a lawyer and a narcissist negotiation expert,
I've helped millions of people go from lives of drama, trauma and chaos,
to step into lives of freedom, possibility and purpose.
I've written two best-selling books, “Breaking Free” and
“Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R” and
if you want to learn how to shift the dynamic against narcissist,
make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
By the end of this video,
you're going to have seven ways you can 100% rely on narcissists.
There's lots of things you can rely on narcissists not to do,
but, what can you 100% percent rely on them to do?
Why is that? Why do they love to ruin special occasions?
Well, they don't want to see you getting the attention,
they hate when you are getting attention,
or other people are getting attention.
I mean, that's just the bottom line.
There is a supreme example in the whole Will and Jada Smith situation,
I'm telling you, what a better example than right there,
here he was the at pinnacle of his career,
he is supposed to get his Oscar and
Chris Rock is there,
he’s supposed to make jokes about celebrities,
that's his job and
I get that this is my opinion,
but, he makes a joke about Jada's bald head and
everybody knows at this point
that two days before the Oscars,
she had made a tik tok video that said,
“I don't give two craps about this bald head”,
she said she didn't care about it,
Chris Rock says something about the bald head and
everybody's laughing, including Will Smith and
What happens?
She gives him the look,
if you had read Will Smith's book,
you know that he was triggered by that,
because he didn't protect his mom where he felt like
he was supposed to have protected his mom and
he was 5 years old, 6 years old, 7 years old and
his father, he had beaten his mom when he was a kid and
he felt like he should have been able to protect her and
so when Jada gave him the look, he was triggered by that and
so, there he goes, he goes up there and
he does this thing and she ruins that special occasion for him.
But, I've done other videos on YouTube about that,
why narcissists love to ruin holidays,
I highly encourage you to check those out.
So, why do narcissists love to ruin holidays?
Why do they love to ruin your birthday?
Because they can't stand for other people
to be getting that attention,
it just absolutely drives them crazy,
because other people are taking that supply away from them.
So, you can 100% rely on a narcissist to ruin special occasions.
You can 100% rely on that,
because it's that fakes, right?
That outward thing where they are 100%,
they want to look better to the outside world,
that's that diamond level supply that I talk about,
that’s more important to them than what's going on inside,
because they don't have that internal sense of value,
so they're constantly trying to feed their emptiness inside and
trying to feed it from external sources,
is better than internal sources and
so, they already have you right there and
they can treat you poorly,
degrading you, debasing you, controlling you and
they get a sense of supply from that as well.
So, that's another form of supply they're already getting from you,
so, by adulate them, in other words,
they want strangers to give them adulation, compliments and
that sort of thing and
if they can get that from strangers,
“You're so wonderful, you're so amazing” all that sort of thing,
well, then that's even better from their perspective,
so, that's why they treat strangers better than you and
so you can definitely 100% rely on that.
They want strangers to think that they're wonderful,
they're basically love-bombing strangers all the time,
so you can 100% rely on that.
They will always project and deflect,
meaning they're not going to take responsibility.
So, even if you show like you were supposed to do this thing,
or I mean, I used to have people who’d work for me and
they were supposed to complete a task or whatever,
so it was always somebody else,
it was somebody else's fault,
it was always something happened or whatever.
I mean, they could never ever take responsibility,
project and deflect it, or it's your fault,
if you had just been better,
or if this had just happened or whatever.
They can never ever take responsibility and
part of that, is because they don't have any sense of self-worth,
they don't have any sense of value and
so, if they have to take responsibility,
then somehow it takes away from them.
I mean, it's very closely related to proyecting and deflecting,
but, it's a little bit different,
that is that they will always lie and deny.
So, again, even if you present like a text message,
or obvious evidence that says,
“You did this thing”, “You said this thing”,
they’ll say, “Nope, it didn't happen”.
Lying and denying,
they will absolutely lie right to your face and
hey, that becomes great leverage, by the way,
if you end up having to litigate against them,
or you end up having a case with them,
that's how you build your case,
that's how you start building your summaries,
that's how you start building your leverage,
which is what I teach you guys and
if you want to know more about
what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie,
I have a YouTube video on that,
I highly encourage you guys to check that out.
I know you guys have seen this,
100% you can rely on a narcissist to do these things so far,
All narcissists gaslight,
whether you're dealing with a covert narcissistic,
grandiose narcissist, malignant narcissist,
whatever supreme kind of narcissist you're dealing with,
you can 100% rely on a narcissist to gaslight.
They all gaslight.
So, what is gaslighting?
It is when they're trying to make you think you're crazy,
they’re literally trying to say that what you're seeing with your eyes,
what you're hearing with your ears,
what you're experiencing with your senses is not true,
it's not happening, is not what you're experiencing and
it literally eventually makes you think that you're crazy.
I mean, I've been honest and candid with you guys,
in the sense that I have dealt with narcissists in my own life,
not just in my law practice,
which obviously I've seen tons of them in my law practice,
but I had to deal with 2 covert narcissists in my personal life,
I had one as a business partner and
my husband and I had one in our family and
so, I've personally had to deal with gaslighting and
it's really just insane when you're experiencing gaslighting,
when you've had a conversation with somebody and
they literally come back and say
“Oh, we we talked about that, don't you remember?”
And you know didn't have that conversation,
or you know the conversation was something different
than what you talked about,
It's crazy!
Or when they are presenting something that's completely different.
I've actually seen it in court,
I've actually seen lawyers who will say
this is what the court order said and
the court order says something completely different and
even when presented with what the court order actually says,
they'll say “Well, I know that's what it says,
but that's not what it says,
I'm trying to convince the judge it says something different”,
even though in black and white it says something different,
just to try to see if they can get the judge to be convinced.
And sometimes, the judge will be convinced,
I mean, it's pretty powerful this gaslighting sometimes.
So, it's a scary kind of a tactic,
when somebody can be that influential and
especially when they're working on that person all the time,
it's a tactic to destabilize you,
it's a control tactic and
they've used it daily, day in and day out,
over the over time and over years,
it can definitely be very, very effective.
Some people say apologies,
I call them fauxpologies, F-A-U-X, because they're fake,
fake apologies, which they use when they're needed,
it's all a manipulation, everything is a manipulation,
everything they do, say, every time they try to love bomb you,
it's a manipulation,
every time they try to future fake you,
it's a manipulation, it's all a game,
it's all meant to manipulate you.
It's all an attempt to manipulate you and
this, I insert here at number six for a reason,
the reason why I'm inserting it here,
at number 6, right before number 7,
we haven't gotten to number seven yet and
you need to stay until I get to number seven for a reason,
because this is where you're like,
“Oh my God, I can't take it anymore, I'm out of here”,
you're plotting and planning to get the heck out of there and
if you're in a romantic relationship,
you're packing your suitcase, maybe visited a divorce attorney,
if you're in a business relationship,
you're finally like, “Okay, how do I get out of this thing?”
And now they come back,
now they start to realize,
“Oh, they're leaving, my supply is walking out the door”
so they start to love bomb you again.
Now, they start to future fake you,
now, they start to apologize,
because they don’t want their supply source to leave,
“Things will be better”,
or they start to do the things that
they were supposed to do in the first place.
This is what I saw in my business relationship
with the person that I was in the relationship with,
all of a sudden,
the person started doing all the things
that she was supposed to do before,
she started completing absolutely all the tasks
she said that she was going to do and then never had done.
For me, personally, I was like annoyed because I thought,
“So you did know what you were supposed to do,
you just were not doing it”.
So that for me, that wasn't helpful,
but for other people, who are in an intimate relationship,
they could get sucked back in and
oftentimes, because they hear what they wanted to hear,
especially, if you've invested a lot of time,
you have children, maybe financially you're tied,
this is where they're really good at saying what they need to say
in order to charm that person back into the fold.
So, 100% you can rely on a narcissist to get that person back,
because they don't want to see their supply source gone.
Not that they love you, don't confuse.
Number six, love-bombing, future faking, the fauxpology with love,
and it can be very, very confusing.
Don't confuse this with they actually having affection for you,
they love you, they want you, or anything like that,
this is definitely a manipulation.
They are sucking all of that energy from you,
they are energy vampires,
before I knew these terms,
I used to say when I was dealing with a narcissist,
I used to say it was like a leech,
I didn't know why I felt that way, but I felt that way.
I mean you can 100% rely,
because it is a black hole,
that need for supply they have, it can never be filled,
you are expected to try to fill it, but you can never fill it.
So, that's number seven,
you can 100% rely on them to drain the life out of you.
You will end up feeling completely depleted, drained and
you're going to end up feeling like your soul is sucked.
Those are the seven things you can 100% rely on a narcissist to do.
If you haven’t subscribed to this channel,
I would 100% suggest that you do that now,
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so that you can get the support that you need,
we will drop a link to that below.
If you think you might be in a relationship with a narcissist,
I have a free quiz to that below,
a link to that below in the description.
I also have a free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com,
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at winmynegotiation.com,
which you can also grab.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
so that other people can get this information.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am so glad that you're here and
I'm so glad that you have joined me today.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life,
never give in, never give up.
I will see you in the next video,
Namaslay!