Hey friends! So today I'm doing a bit of a callout post
for the LGBTQ community on YouTube.
So this should be fun.
It always makes me really uncomfortable to have to criticize other people's behaviors or words
or things they're doing on social media
because we're all in the YouTube community
and it makes me really uncomfortable to have to call that kind of stuff out.
I have social anxiety, I don't like confrontation
and I don't love the idea of having to go to YouTube events
where I run into people who I've had to criticize on the internet.
But at the same time, these people have large platforms
and a lot of them have younger audiences
that I think could be harmed by some of the things that they've said or promoted on their channels
so I do think it's important to call people in
and call out that behavior when it happens.
Which is interesting, because I feel like the last couple months
I've had to do that so many times.
Just gonna take one for the team.
So if you're not aware, there have been a lot of heated discussions - on YouTube, specifically
but also, all across the internet - about 'genital preferences'.
It's been kind of a 'hot button' issue.
I'm gonna link to some videos and articles about it below, if you wanna catch up on the conversation
because there is some context here that I think is important.
My friend Riley J. Dennis made a video about it, which I personally thought was really good.
I think she was very careful with her language.
I understood what she was trying to say; I didn't misrepresent her words.
I listened to what she was saying, and I was like, "Okay, that makes sense to me."
But not everyone gave her the same benefit of the doubt
and I've seen this happen several times with trans women on the internet.
Where they'll be very careful with their language, they'll be specific.
They'll say, "I'm not trying to force anyone to sleep with anyone."
"You don't have to be attracted to every trans person. You don't have to sleep with anyone you don't wanna sleep with."
But sometimes it's good to look at societal bias and how that might affect your preferences.
It's never a clean-cut, like, "You need to do this; you need to fuck this trans person."
"But, hey, let's examine our biases and start a conversation."
You know, it's very open-ended and non-coercive.
They'll leave room for nuance and they'll acknowledge the fact that some people are repulsed by certain genitals
because of trauma and that's okay.
It's basically just saying that self-reflection isn't a bad thing
and it's always good to reflect on your preferences.
You might end up coming to the same conclusion, but I never think that self-reflection is gonna hurt you.
If you're adult and you have sexual experiences and you're not asexual
then I'm pretty sure that your sexuality now is gonna be pretty different from when you were twelve or thirteen
and you were first exploring that.
People's sexualities evolve and grow and change throughout their life
and, in my opinion, it's kind of a lifelong process.
I'm not attracted to the same types of people I was attracted to when I was thirteen.
'Cause that would be weird.
My romantic and sexual attractions are different now than they were when I was younger.
And I think that's a positive thing.
Because I would still be in love with Edward Cullen from Twilight - and nobody wants that.
Unfortunately, I've seen a trend when it comes to trans people speaking on this issue in a very careful way.
Cisgender people will come in and twist their argument and misrepresent their words
and try and portray them as, like, predatory and 'rapey'
as if they're trying to 'prey' on cis people and force them to sleep with them.
And it's not great.
I also wanna point out that the 'predatory' narrative has historically been placed on lesbians as well
so when cis lesbians twist this narrative and try and pass it off on trans people
I think it's irresponsible because it's ignoring the context and how it has been harmful to their own community.
And I really think that people in these conversations - particularly if you're a member of the LGBTQ community
and you're supposed to stand with trans people - I really think that we should question these arguments.
And I've seen this play out in a very specific way, in my own YouTube and LGBTQ communities
where cisgender lesbians and queer women are perpetuating this narrative
and misrepresenting trans women's arguments and trying to make them into the bad guy
when all they wanted in the first place was to start an open-ended conversation.
I'm making this video specifically, because
the other day, an LGBTQ 'advocate', a popular YouTuber
made a sort of 'attack video' on one of my friends.
Particularly, they've had a history of having an issue with trans vloggers in our community
and I don't wanna say that this is a coincidence
but I can't say that it's not a coincidence.
This YouTuber is Arielle Scarcella, who has been criticized in the past
for making a pretty shitty video towards bisexuals
where lesbians talk about how untrustworthy they find bi people
and how they would never wanna date them and things like that.
"If you had to describe bisexual girls in one word, what would it be?"
"Greedy."
"To be honest with you, confused."
"Rare. I don't think there's anything in between."
"I think it's either everybody, or it's like a rare unicorn kind of thing."
"Lesbians don't date bisexuals because lesbians are probably smarter, in a sense"
"that we know what we want and we go after it - that's why we're gay."
And I was getting a lot of bisexual people in my mentions
telling me that that video specifically prevented them from coming out of the closet
because they were bi and they didn't want to enter a community that hated them
or made them feel like they're not valid.
So I do think it's dangerous when people who are supposed to be advocating
for members of our community are being exclusionary.
I don't think that trying to isolate members of the LGBTQ community is a good way to go
and I'm very wary of this type of behavior.
Essentially, in Arielle's sixteen minute video response
she's reacting to a video by Riley's girlfriend, Fiona
who I also happen to be friends with
and she picks and chooses parts of Fiona's argument, and kind of just misrepresents the whole thing.
I didn't know this at the time of recording
but apparantly, in direct response to Arielle and her friend Jacqueline making an attack video on her
Fiona was forced to delete all of her videos on her channel.
So it's not just an issue of sexual preferences
It's also an issue of two significantly larger channels
bullying and ganging up on a much smaller channel to the point where she does not feel comfortable in her own community
and she feels like she needs to private all of her videos.
This is not the first video that Arielle has made about genital preferences
and to be quite honest, if Arielle doesn't wanna sleep with trans women
I'm sure trans women aren't losing any fucking sleep over it, to be honest.
I'm sure trans women aren't like, "Oh, damn, Arielle won't fuck me. God damn it."
You don't have to sleep with or date anyone you don't want to.
However, I do think it's pretty shitty when people repeatedly make video after video
talking about how unattractive and unfuckable they find trans women
and they make a huge fucking deal out of it.
Like, why? Why do you need to tell people how much you don't wanna sleep with them?
I just - I just don't understand why this is the hill you've chosen to die on.
I don't understand why you've made this your 'big issue'.
I tweeted about this yesterday
but there have been lots of people that I haven't been attracted to and I haven't wanted to sleep with
but guess what - I didn't make entire videos or posts about how unattractive I found them.
I politely declined and moved on.
It becomes questionable to me when you are so determined to constantly remind trans women
that you're not attracted to them, and that "cis lesbians don't wanna fuck a penis"
as Arielle said in her video.
I didn't wanna fuck Brad from my political communications class
but I didn't feel the need to make multiple videos and posts online about it.
You're allowed to have preferences; you'll allowed to choose who you do and don't wanna date.
But at the end of the day, if you continue to be intent on reminding people how unattractive you find them
you're kind of just being rude.
Anyway, I wanna thank you for watching this video. If you enjoyed it, please give it a like
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