Most times, breakups happen for a reason… but not always for a good reason.
And despite what people will tell you, there’s no shame in getting back together with an
ex boyfriend.
In fact, that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you in this video…
how to start fresh with your ex!
My name is Amy North, I’m a relationship coach from Vancouver, BC…
I help women like you from around the world achieve their relationship goals.
In this case, the goal is to get your ex back.
Now, the key is to getting your ex back is making him want you.
This means that despite how much you may be tempted to beg or plead for another chance,
you should never do this -- it’ll make you look weak, desperate and even pathetic….
that’s not the image you want to give yourself if you’re trying to win him over again.
Well, now that that’s out the way, let’s talk about how you can get your ex back.
Step 1 - The No Contact Period
This is a clever tactic that you may have heard of before, and how it works is pretty
straightforward.
You simply cut off all communication with your ex for about 30 days.
Now you may be thinking, “But what if he forgets about me?”
or “There’s no way disappearing is going to help me get him back,” but the truth
is, removing yourself from the picture will make your ex miss you.
Allow me to explain.
Your ex expects you to go running back to him, so doing the opposite will confuse him
and make him insecure.
Since you’re not begging for a second chance, the message you are sending your ex is loud
and clear: You don’t need him, you’re strong, and you’re perfectly fine with the
idea of finding someone new….
Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to how you actually feel, it’s just important your
ex thinks this is the case.
As time passes and you’re still not contacting him, he’s going to have a hard time resisting
the urge to call you.
This means you not only have him thinking about you, but the icing on the cake is that
since you haven’t been chasing him or emotionally acting out, the negative memories your ex
had of you and the relationship will be replaced with pleasant ones, which may even cause him
to question the breakup.
Depending on how things ended between you and your ex, he may have said he wanted to
“stay friends”.
Under no circumstances should you agree to this.
Instead, tell your ex that he has to choose between being in a romantic relationship with
you, or not having you in his life at all.
Agreeing to “be friends” sounds nice, but all you’d be doing is agreeing to stick
around while he adjusts to life without you.
This is not a situation you want to be in if you plan on winning him back.
Lastly, if your ex contacts you, and he probably will at some point during the No Contact phase,
be calm, cool, and collected.
Keep the conversation short, and be the one to end the call -- it’ll show him that unless
he wakes up and decides to take you back, you’re moving on.
Step 2 - Reconnect with a Text
It’s true that absence can make the heart grow fonder, so once you’ve completed the
No Contact period, consider sending your ex a text - at this point he may be thrilled
to hear from you.
Now, before you go shooting off a short “hey” or “what’s up,” it’s important to
put some thought into what you’re going to send him.
Short pointless texts won’t stir up emotion or give your ex a reason to respond.
Worse than that, you’ll seem boring and desperate - why would he want to reconnect
with a boring, desperate ex?
Instead, there are a few types of text messages you should send.
First off is what breakup expert Brad Browning calls the “Good Reminder” text...
In this text you’re giving your ex the impression that you’re totally over him, but still
think about him from time to time.
It’s designed to make you look thoughtful, happy, and as though there is a meaningful
reason for messaging him - remember, having a reason is key here.
An example of this text would be something like, “The Harlem Globetrotters are coming
to Seattle next month!!!
Thought you’d like to know because I remember how much you love them!”
Sounds innocent, right?
The nice thing about this is there’s no pressure for him to respond.
You’re just letting your ex know that you’re thinking of him without seeming needy.
In fact, he should be happy to hear from you because you're doing him a favour of telling
him about something he might be interested in.
The next type of text you may consider sending them is the “Smile Text.”
Now, this text message should only be used if you handled the breakup properly – as
in, you didn’t beg or plead, and you didn’t get angry.
An example of a smile text would be something along the lines of “I just stumbled upon
my old copy of E.T. and it made me smile and think about you!”...
Okay, maybe this isn’t the best example because he may think you’re calling him
a weird little alien, but you get the jist of it... basically bring up something that
you once enjoyed together.
This type of text works on reeling your ex in emotionally by talking about something
positive and interesting.
Those are two great text messages to send your ex… and I have to give credit where
it’s due here, because both of these texts are included in Brad Browning’s “Ex Factor”
program.
There’s more more great sample messages and further tips and tricks from Brad Browning
in his latest free video, which you can watch at BreakupAmy.com … that’s www.BreakupAmy.com.
Check that out for more texts and additional help winning back your ex.
Step 3 - Call Them Once you’ve texted your ex, you can now
consider calling him - this doesn’t mean you should hit “send” on the text then
go straight to speed dial him, I’d say wait at least a week after texting before you call.
A sneaky tip that I like to share is that when you do call your ex for the first time,
do it at a time when you know they won’t be able to answer so that you can leave a
voicemail.
This gives you the chance to show initiative by calling, but leaves the ball in his court
to call you back.
Before you pick up the phone, know what you’re going to say in your message, and make sure
it’s light-hearted and thoughtful.
As always, make sure it has a purpose.
If after the beep you mumble a bunch of crap about calling to say hi or that you just wanted
to check in, he’s not going to be interested in calling you back.
Instead say something that will remind him of a great time you spent together.
For example, you could say something like “Hey, Thought I’d give you a quick call
to let you know that the season premiere of Parks and Rec is this Monday night.
I figured you’d want to watch it since the last episode we watched was so awesome.
Anyways, hope all is well.”
Simple as that - so don’t try to complicate it or you’ll end up rambling.
If by chance your ex does pick up when you call, then don’t panic or try to quickly
hang up, but be brave and stick to the same plan.
Calmly say exactly what you were going to say in the voicemail and go from there.
No matter how happy you may be to hear his voice or how smoothly the call seems to be
going, never try to force a conversation - if you do you’ll seem desperate or make him
suspicious that you’re trying to win him back.
Just keep the phone call easy, breezy and brief, and always be the one to end the phone
call.
If you do this properly your ex will probably be thinking about you and wonder how you’re
doing.
He’ll like that you were being thoughtful enough to remind him of something they enjoy,
and because your message or call doesn’t beg for a reply, it’s not going to make
you look needy or give away your intentions of getting back together, which you don’t
want him to know about yet.
If you leave the message and your ex phones you back, let his call go to voicemail and
wait at least 24 hours before calling back.
When you do call, sound upbeat and confident.
Tell him about some of the fun things you’ve been up to, make him laugh and simply enjoy
the conversation.
Step 4 - Meetup So, now that you’ve reconnected with your
ex, fired off a few texts and had a few chats, you’ll want to make plans to meet up as
friends -- I repeat, AS FRIENDS.
DO NOT treat this as a date.
Don’t call it that when talking to your ex, and don’t even bother using that term
in your own head.
Right now you’re working on getting reacquainted, re-building attraction, and that’s it.
If you frame it as a real ‘date’, chances are your ex will either refuse to meet with
you, or you’ll end up right back where you are now because you’ll have rushed into
things.
Not to mention the mental let down you’ll feel if things go sour.
So, remember, the focus is friendship.
Despite that it’s not a date, you should still have a plan in mind for your meet up.
Winging it probably isn’t a great idea in this situation, it leaves room for things
to go wrong.
What you need is a simple, straightforward, fool proof plan.
For instance, something like meeting next Thursday for coffee at the nearby Starbucks.
Choosing somewhere public for the first meet up is always a good idea and will make things
more comfortable.
When you do meet up, have a fun story to share, keep things light and do your best to enjoy
yourself.
The goal is to re-create the attraction between you two.
There’s no doubt you’ll be nervous but do your best to hide it and keep things cheery
and comfortable - It’ll be super awkward if you sit there biting your fingernails while
mindlessly rambling.
Think of it as a new first impression.
You have the chance to redefine yourself in his eyes, so take advantage of it.
Be the calm, confident smooth talker you’ve always admired - just remember, stay positive
and avoid bringing up the relationship.
You’re finally spending time with the person you care about, so live for the moment and
enjoy it.
At some point it’ll come time to seduce your ex, but it’s best not to go beyond
playful flirting in the first meeting with your ex unless it’s really going well and
you’re certain he’ll be receptive to any advances.
I find that a lot of women are able to get to this part pretty easily by doing what I’ve
talked about so far -- no contact, a few texts to spark his interest, and then the coffee
meet-up -- but then they get stuck and can’t progress any further with their ex.
If you’re in a similar situation where you can’t seem to break out of the ‘friend
zone’, go to www.BreakupAmy.com and check out the new free video by breakup guru Brad
Browning, it shares some sneaky strategies you can use to really make him start thinking
about you as more than just a friend… again you can find that video at BreakupAmy.com.
Step 5 - Take It Slow When you and your ex do start spending time
together again, it’s key that you take things slowly - if you rush things, they will blow
up.
Since you romanced him before, it can be hard to resist falling into old patterns, but still,
that’s no excuse to go from zero to 100 without even getting behind the wheel.
When the time comes and you feel like you could make the relationship work again, propose
getting together—not moving in together.
It can be hard to go turtle speed when you're making up for lost time and are already so
familiar with each other, but taking it slow is the key to avoiding the same mistakes that
caused your breakup last time.
More importantly, you’ve both changed since the breakup and need to take time to get reacquainted.
The best way to avoid rushing into anything is by treating it as a brand new-relationship.
And remember, all things worth having take time and hard work.
Well, that just about does it for this video, I hope you learned something and that you
can put these tips to good use.
I know that some of the pointers seem nitpicky, but trust me, these are tried and true ways
to get your ex back, and if you follow them correctly, you’ll be on the right path before
you know it!
Like I said earlier….. for more advice beyond what I’ve shared in this video, visit BreakupAmy.com
and watch the comprehensive how-to video, it’s completely free.
And as always if you have any questions feel free to post them in the comments below and
I’ll do my best to answer each of them.
If you enjoyed the video and would like to show your support for my channel you can do
so by clicking the “like” button, and feel free to follow me on all of my social
media pages - I’ve posted all links in the description below.
Alright, that’s a wrap ladies…
Until next time, take care, and I’ll see you soon!