- Empaths need to know these five things moving forward.
Otherwise, their energy is gonna continue to get drained.
They're gonna continue to feel like they're obligated
or responsible for everyone else's energy.
And they're really not gonna feel clarity
on who they are and why they came here.
So this video, I'm gonna show you the five things
empaths must know right now, moving forward.
And first off, more than anything, there's this idea
of projection that I've become to realize in my own life.
And first off, what is that, empath?
An empath is somebody that can feel other people's energies.
Somebody that is also considered an HSP
which means highly sensitive person, but in general,
empaths are people that can feel other people's energy.
And the benefit of this
is that many times healers people that are in some type
of industry of like helping other people
are what empaths normally gravitate towards.
And there's many positive things
that can come from being an empath.
But some of the negative things that come
is losing sense of self.
It is feeling very challenging to set boundaries.
And that's why in this video, I'm making it
because these are the five things you must know about that.
Now, first off, projection.
Now this is something I realized yesterday
because I used to be, I mean, I am empathic
I guess you could say,
but I used to more so be on the shadow side of this
where a lot of times people pleasers
and nice guys are people that are just like overly nice.
This sometimes stems from being an empath,
maybe growing up, you had a lot of like crazy childhood
dynamics growing on going on and you decided
I'm gonna be the peacemaker.
I'm gonna be the bridge between my friends
and my family or my family getting along or whatever it is,
what ends up happening is then
there's this exchange that goes on
where it's like empaths don't feel safe
unless everyone else is feeling good
which then means that it's hard to feel good
because you have to literally do a whole bunch
of things and make everyone else happy.
And a lot of times
that people pleasing mentality is actually a form
of manipulation, because if I can make you happy
or please you then I'll feel safe, good and complete.
But then it becomes like an outside thing that the focus is.
And I'm gonna share something
in this video right now that will completely transform
the way you look at this whole dynamic
when it comes to empaths.
But first I wanna explain this with projection.
Now, what I mean by this projection
is what we do when we're in relationship with each other
is based on our individual shadows,
our individual desires, our individual expectations.
We project those onto other people.
I've had it happen before.
I'll explain this little example, for example
this is like a small little example of it, but nonetheless
it gets the point across.
When I was, I had an ex-girlfriend back in like 2015
or something like that.
And with her, I remember there was this thing
where when we were together, I was also very empathic
and still am to this day,
but I've known how to moderate it more now.
But she had this thing where she did not like
if she had this thing where her ex-boyfriends, I guess,
would pay for dinner, but then have her tip.
And she didn't like that.
Now I've never been like, that's never really
been the way that I am, but with her, for some reason
we were at dinner one time and I was like,
well, I'll just continue to pay and then you could just tip.
And the response from that was so much
kind of not like trauma necessarily
but it was like this big trigger for her
because then she told me later,
like that's what my ex-boyfriend did.
And she's like, if you're gonna pay for dinner,
then pay for it, don't have me pay tip.
It was like, she didn't feel valuable
or like valued or something.
But the weird thing is
and not that I'm blaming it on her,
but I never had that desire to do that before.
But maybe because being an empath,
I fell within the frame
within the expectation of somebody else.
There's another aspect
of my life that I won't go too deep into this
but there's someone in my life that has had trauma.
Somebody that I work with that's had trauma
around having a boss or somebody that is a certain way
is like narcissistic.
And sometimes what happens is this person can feel
or get scared that that's gonna happen again.
Which of course, I'm far from that.
However, she may notice something like, ooh
this part of it, this little thing over here
this to the business over here reminds me of this.
And then there's like this energy that comes over it.
And what I've had to learn to do
is how to be in my own frame and remember who I am
in a way where I'm like, no, that's not me.
And that's kind of what I had to do.
I had a conversation about this.
I don't wanna go too much into though,
'cause it's kind of personal, but in general,
there's times where your projection,
people's expectation of you,
you may fall within that because you're so empathic
that you just kind of wanna make everyone else happy.
So you fall within the frame
of the way they expect you to be.
So this is something you wanna become aware of
because unless you're in your own frame
what'll happen is you may conform to their beliefs.
You may conform to their expectation
and then feel like you over-correct
and lose your sense of self.
And that happened when someone expressed
to me something I like was like, so empathic.
And then I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.
I totally understand, I'll fix it.
And then I woke up to it like the next day.
And I was like, I overextended, I like
I didn't hold my ground enough.
I lost too much of my sense of self.
So the reason I share this is you could become aware
of the second thing right here,
which would explained a lot of it.
Let me write this down so I don't forget too,
but this right here is, that's your shit, not mine.
Now this isn't like, you're not just always giving
away responsibility to always be like,
that's your stuff, that's your stuff, that's your stuff.
But the problem with most empaths
is they have trouble setting boundaries
because the boundaries don't exist.
Literally with an empath, your happiness is my happiness.
What you feel is what I feel.
And that's the challenge
because then, empaths have trouble setting boundaries.
But this one statement here has completely
transformed my own life.
And that's remembering that if you say no
to going to let's say a friend's birthday,
I have friends that want me to go
to friend's birthday next week,
I'm literally moving next week.
And if I'm gonna move next week,
I may not have time to go.
But if back in the day I would not have been able to say, no
I would've done something as crazy as like,
not move or like if I felt guilty
about going to a friend's birthday party
because I would lose my sense of self.
But now I know if I say no
and someone's butt hurt about it, that's their stuff.
I can't abandon myself.
So setting boundaries is really when you say no
to something, you're saying yes to yourself
and for this when you think of that,
of like narcissists versus empaths
which are kind of opposites, but also very similar
in a weird way, narcissists manipulate other
people to get their needs met.
Empaths, sometimes manipulate other people
to get their needs met.
It's just, they do it in very different ways.
The narcissists are normally aggressive and demanding.
The empaths are a little bit more passive about it.
They say, well, I'm gonna give you this.
And then you'll give me validation, approval and support.
However, the thing to remember
with this is what the narcissist needs
to learn is how to be more empathic, how to think of others.
What the empath needs to learn is what can be learned
from the narcissist, which is how to set boundaries,
how to be in your own frame.
These are both in a way, somewhat unhealthy expression.
Sometimes there can be a healthy, there is such a thing
by the way, as well as healthy narcissism.
My Shadow Work coach talks to me about this all the time.
Healthy narcissism is called confidence.
It's not a bad thing.
We all have narcissistic tendencies too.
But when we point the finger, empaths are also
in a way covert narcissists
because the way they get their needs met
is by being people pleasers, giving validate,
or wanting the validation, the support,
it's just that they have very different ways
of going about obtaining it.
And the reason I say this too, is a lot of times,
the picture I'm trying to break you outta the belief system
that the narcissist is the villain
and you're the good guy, the good person
or the people pleaser.
Both these qualities exist within us.
And the reason I'm sharing this
is so that we can actually start doing something with it.
So first off, that's your shit, not mine.
It's important to remember that,
the next time somebody feels mad
or frustrated that you're not doing something they wanna do,
it's okay, that's their stuff, let them be.
If they have a problem with it
that's something they can deal with.
It's not yours, it's not your responsibility.
I see my girlfriend sometimes deal
with this because she's super empathic.
And sometimes she literally takes on other people's like
she wants everyone to be happy.
Everyone to feel nurtured, everyone to feel good.
And sometimes what she does is she takes on their stuff.
Even like her family or her friends and stuff like that.
And then she has to like, remind herself.
She's like, wait, I'm not responsible for this.
It's not my job to do this.
You can still be compassionate
but it doesn't mean it's your job to like
make everything else feel good so that you can feel safe.
Now the frame, the third part
of this is frame and that's understanding self versus other.
Now this is the one thing I wanna share to you now,
empaths this is the way my Shadow Work coach explained this.
It's completely transformed my life to understand this.
That's why I wanna share it with you.
Let's imagine zero is other, okay?
One is self.
In our reality, there's a split of these two things.
One which is self, other zero which is other.
Think of it like in the matrix.
There's these zeros and ones everywhere.
Now what happens is if you do something
which is I'll explain to you in a minute
which also is a game changer.
What you do is you start to become aware
of it starts to become present inside of your body.
Because what happens with empaths
is they're not necessarily completely in their body.
They are feeling the environments of everything
to get survival and safety.
So what ends up happening is they have so much,
they see only zeros, narcissists see only self.
Everything is me, everything is me, everything,
it's all about me.
I need to get my needs met.
It's all about me, me, me, me, me,
and then the empaths are all about other.
Now they both wanna get their needs met.
It's just that they only see, one only sees zeros,
one only sees ones.
Now the balance of this is number four
which I'm gonna explain to you.
But the thing to realize here
is that out of childhood survival, normally what happens
is there's a pattern that's created where it says
in order for me to feel safe, I have to focus on other
because if I can get other people to feel happy
other people to feel good, then I can feel safe.
Whereas narcissists say I only see ones
and I have to manipulate my environment
and be very demanding in order for me to feel safe.
So think of it like this.
When you go to the TFT, this trumps everything else
you're gonna learn by the way.
And you could say Bye Din, say Bye Din
to everyone else's shit.
Okay, that's what you want.
That's what you wanna do here, okay?
Now with this, it's the frame technique.
Now, if you stare at a candle flame,
this change, it's so simple.
And sometimes people overlook it
but all you do is you stare at a candle flame.
And on the in breath, you feel the connection to self.
You feel the one, you feel you
and the separation between you and the candle.
You and the walls, you and your seat wherever you are,
you and your clothes, you feel present inside of your body.
And on the zero, you breathe out
and you just release and you feel connected to everything.
That's the zero.
Now empaths always feel the zero.
They feel connected to everything.
That's all, we're all one consciousness
but they lack the sense of self.
And they abandon their self in the process.
Doing the shift, the frame technique
will completely transform your life
because what it allows you to do is to feel safe
in your own frame, to feel safe as side your own body
and begin to more so individuate from your environment.
It's not a bad thing.
It's what empaths need to hear.
And moving into 2000, you know, the years beyond,
what'll happen is unless we become aware
of this energy, we will continue to morph
into other people's expectations,
we'll continue to take on of people's shit
and think it's ours, we'll continue to adhere
to other people's frames because here's the thing,
the reason you may be attracting a narcissist
is because there's actually something to learn from them,
not to be unhealthy and not to be like demanding narcissist,
that's like manipulating environment.
But my dad who's super empathic attracted my ex stepmom
who's a narcissist.
My ex stepmom, she is, and does have the ability
to manipulate other people in an unhealthy, toxic way.
However, my dad has had to learn how to stand up to her.
He's had to get out of his comfort zone
and actually be assertive.
It's something he can learn.
With my ex stepmom, she can learn maybe this life
maybe in the next life, who knows?
She can, sometimes there's a big stubbornness here
on both sides but she can learn
how to be more empathic, guarantee you
when she has a life review, she will feel that energy.
So the reason I share this
is because there's actually something to learn.
The narcissist isn't just completely a villain.
We all have our own narcissistic qualities within us.
It's about in a healthy manner, are becoming aware
of it and being honest their selves.
Now with this, and with this thing
that trumps everything else, you can say Bye Din to that,
this shit is yours, not mine.
Do that frame technique,
and you will notice people respond to you differently
because you start to feel safe in your own body.
It changes absolutely everything.
And the other thing that will change absolutely everything
is when you begin to actually listen
to your own inner child and give them the unmet needs
that you didn't feel that you received when you were a kid.
We all have an inner child inside of us
that either wants significance, validation, approval,
connection, nurturing.
And because that need isn't met, we then use be an empath,
be narcissist or whatever to get our needs met.
When you heal your inner child,
everything in your life begins to change.
And one of the most powerful meditations
I have ever made is an inner child meditation
for healing, you go to Hawaii, Hawaii,
you energetically connect your inner child
and it will completely transform your life.
I've had thousands of people do this meditation.
They all say it's very powerful.
So if you wanna check it out, all you gotta do
is go to Aarondody.com/child, or click the link below.
The other thing that you could do is I have a video
that's very popular on YouTube that's on empaths.
We go deeper on all of this.
If you wanna learn more about how to turn your empath
ability into your own superpower
and go deep on all of these concepts,
watch this video right here.
It's one of the most powerful ones for empaths.
Today's episodes gonna be one that was inspired
by a live that I did yesterday.
I have something that's called
the 21 Day Raise Your Vibration Challenge,
and I did a live in it.