Hi and welcome!
I'm Nadine Piat from Healthy You, Healthy Love and I'm a coach for smart savvy women
looking for sexy united love.
And in today's video, I'm going to be talking about long distance relationships and how
to make a long distance relationship work.
Now what you may not know is that long distance relationships can thrive even more so than
a relationship that is not long distance.
Why?
Because when people don't live together they’ve got to emotionally connect on a deeper level.
They're forced to their circumstances have led them to communicate more so than perhaps
people who live in the same city, live together.
And so this is why being in a long distance relationship can be one of the most beautiful
foundations for a relationship.
I also know people who started their relationship in a long distance, they met at a work event,
or they met on a holiday and they initially couldn't live together and because of this,
their relationship was lightly built on friendship and emotion and really understanding each
other’s deeper needs and wants and desires.
So please know that being in a long distance relationship does not mean that you're doomed,
you can thrive in this relationship.
That all said you're watching this video for a reason because chances are there is something
that you're struggling with with your long distance relationship or you're even wondering
should you engage in one.
Maybe you just met someone and you're trying to work out what to do.
So let's get into how to make a long distance relationship work.
Number one is, Are you committed to the relationship?
This one applies to any relationship.
Just because you're dating or spending time together or committed to each other, doesn't
mean that you're fully committed.
For couples who live in the same city or live together, just because you share the same
postcode, doesn't mean that you are wholeheartedly committed to the relationship.
The same goes for long distance relationship, if you are not 100% committed to being in
this together, if you're not pretty much equally balanced in the amount of effort you’re
both willing to put in to the relationship to work then I won't even bother.
There's no point being in a relationship where only one person is driving it.
Of course in a long term relationship and long distance relationship sometimes our energy
levels change in different things that are happening in our lives at different times
and yet overall you know that you have each other's back, that you're there for each other,
you're willing to support each other, listen to each other, etc.
So that is the kind of relationship I want you to commit to which leads to my second
point which is, Are you committed to someone real?
There are plenty of scammers out there who prey on women who feel insecure and desperate
for love and I know that we don't like to think of ourselves like that.
But there are plenty of women who are really finding it hard to meet someone and they end
up having this so-called long distance relationship with people that are not real.
That also said, maybe the person is real and yet you can't meet them, they do live in another
country, they're not scammer per se or they do live in a different state or maybe they
even say they live in the same state, live in the same city and still not making time
to see you.
I have another video about that which I’ll actually share the link below, which is all
about online dating and how to meet people and the signs of someone who’s not great
for you that you shouldn’t invest time in.
But anyway, this video in this point is more so about I just want you to have a long distance
relationship with someone who’s actually fully invested in you, who’s a real person,
who you can actually at some stage.
And if anyone ask you for money, or someone is unwilling to send you photos, and if someone
is unwilling to go on video, and someone has lots of substories about their life, it is
a pretty good chance that they could be a scammer.
So be very very mindful about who you’re giving your energy and time to.
So know that this is a sticky topic but it’s an important one because I’m here for you
to have a healthy relationship with a real person and it’s impossible to do that when
you’re not actually dealing with someone like that.
So be mindful and careful and look after your heart and invest in people who are invested
in you and who are able to meet you.
Number three is.
Technology is your Friend.
So if you’re not very technically savvy you don’t know how to set up video or Skype
or Zoom.
Or you don’t have Facebook and you don’t know how to use video there or WhatsApp then
please get someone to help you to set that up so you can actually have a really great
way or you have multiple platforms to communicate with your boo.
So get that set up, it’s going to make communicating a lot easier.
Number four is, Avoid Excessive Communication.
Communication is absolutely important and critical in any relationship.
Therefore long distance relationship some people over do it they spent hours and hours
and hours everyday on a call to the long distance relationship partner.
And because of this excessiveness, what can happen is that mystery isn’t happening in
a relationship.
There’s no kind of intrigue, and relationships need a little bit of intrigue to sort of build
tension and desire.
So if you’re overdoing the communication you could be actually exhausting communication,
which can become a little nauseating and overwhelming which dampens desire.
So just make sure that you’re not forgetting who you are, not forgetting your needs and
your interests outside the long distance relationship so that you can recreate that mystery.
Point number five is all about, Setting Clear Relationship and Personal Boundaries.
When you’re in a long distance relationship it’s important to have a few boundaries
in place so that you know where each other stand, so that you both feel safe and looked
after in a relationship.
So for example if you find that you feel a little insecure when your partner’s out
socially say having work drinks or out with a female friend maybe you have a requirement
or a boundary in that relationship where you both or one sided depends who actually has
this challenge or maybe you both agree to do it, well you both let each other know when
you’ve come home from hanging out with work friends or friend or so forth.
It may be that you just send a text or could be a call that is something that the two of
you will have to work out.
Because it’s understandable that when people out socially you can feel a little insecure
like are they going to meet somebody who lives close by and you could feel like you’re
missing out on having fun with your partner.
And make sure that the two of you have something in place here that you both agree on that
is if this is one of those issue for both or one of you.
Another boundary could be maybe if you don't want to talk late into the night every night.
Maybe your partner finishes his work late and he loves to call when you're whining down
and getting ready for sleep.
Or maybe when you first met or you first started dating or first started the long distance
relationship you are happy to do this late call because you miss them so much and it
was new.
But overtime you are realizing that it was impacting your sleep, it's affecting your
day today energy and your productivity at work and your health overall and you know
that it is something that doesn't make you feel and it's impacting you on a global level.
So what you need to do in this kind of situation is just work out some times that work for
both of you where it doesn't impact you in a negative way.
So that is something that the two of you will work out base on your schedules and sleep
and all that kind of thing.
Another example of having boundaries is are you allowed to date other people.
Some people in long distance relationships kind of have an open relationship, some do
not at all where it's very much monogamous and devotion between two people.
so that is something that also the two of you need to talk about and of course there
may be some very specific rules within that you're both adhere to.
Now now that we're just three examples boundaries and I hope they help you to give you an idea
of what I mean so that you can navigate this kind of thing in different situations.
Now to the next point.
Remember that your partner is not perfect.
I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, no one is perfect and yet you can still have a very
beautiful relationship with your differences.
So it's really important to understand that from time to time feelings won't be necessary
always smooth sailing.
We're going to have to work things out eat together as a team or to allow this relationship
to continue to develop.
Which leads to point seven, Don't make Assumptions.
I know that is so easy to assume things in life, doesn't matter which relationship were
talking about, in any relationship.
And yet in long distance relationship, because of the distance and because you can't see
each other, sometimes it's easy to make up stories in our mind about what something means
or what is happening when in actual fact the reality is very different so please don't
assume, ask questions if you're feeling uncertain about something, if you're wondering something,
if you know you're sign to create stories in your mind about the relationship or what
they're doing or what they're thinking, instead of doing that start communicating.
Communicating is everything.
So communicate you fears, your uncertainties, your questions about the relationship so that
you can work through them.
Which leads to Communicating Your Needs in a Graceful Way.
When we're triggered, when we're insecure some people default to blaming, shaming, accusations
and so forth.
And so it's very important to communicate your concerns, communicate your needs and
your boundaries with grace and clarity.
Now to help you with this, I have a fantastic free gift called Word Poison.
I share 16 words and phrases to avoid using if you don't want to inflame a situation.
If there is conflict, if there is confusion in your relationship, if you avoid these 16
words you'll find that your relationship is able to flow through conflict and confusion
and misunderstanding.
So check out that free gift right below in the description, it's called Word Poison and
I know you're going to love it.
Now, tip 9 is Do Something Interesting or Fun Together.
If you thought about traveling together, to Spain or something why not learn some spanish
together.
If there's a tv show that you really want to watch you think your partner might be interested
watch it together or find something that you're both to watch together you can share the story
line and talk about the plot and the characters and support.
Or you can actually literally watch it together online at the same time.
Also you could read a book together that's really interesting it could even be about
relationship so whatever the topic is you can share with each other what you're reading
and learning and you could pull ideas apart and learn about each other and even deeper
level.
So almost feel that you're in the same room together, doing something together which is
really really powerful for a long distance relationship and making it work.
Number 10 is Enjoy Your Independence.
There is something beautiful about being single, for example, and there is something beautiful
about being in a relationship.
You kind of get the best of both worlds, you get to enjoy all of your sort of world outside
of a relationship.
And then you got this beautiful intimate connection with someone that you don't see as often as
you would like to see.
So this is the time to do the things that you don't normally do, to engage in new hobbies
or courses or training or study.
Which means whether you're in a long distance relationship or not it's so important not
to abandon what you love to do and it's important to nurture your own interests so there's no
better way to do that than when you're in a long distance relationship.
There's no more excuses, you can see your friends, see your family and also maintain
a deep connection with your partner might wherever they are.
Number 11 is relationship goals.
What are your future plans together?
Do you have plans?
Are you going to be in a long distance relationship for a long time or are you planning for one
of you to move so you can be together?
Or are you just happy the way it is for now?
It's ok if you are and it is important that both of you are on the same page and you know
where you both stand so that you can emotionally prepare and feel comfortable with where you're
both at on this journey of the LDR.
The next point leads on to point 12 which is Making Plans.
So relationship goals is more of a global picture of what's going to be happening with
a relationship.
And number 13 is all about actually planning times when will you be meeting up.
So it's much easier on your heart, on your soul, and on your psyche, and on a relationship
when you know when going to be seeing each other.
So make plans.
Once you've seen each other for one catch up then plan the next one.
Some people only live a few hours away some people live a plane ride away a few hours
away some people live across the world from each other so obviously depending on your
situation will depend on how often you can see each other and irrespective of that try
to have a plan for when you'll see each other next.
Now for those of you are in a long distance relationship did someone who you've never
met, please review point 2 again because if a person isn't making plans to see you and
there's no chance that they can anytime soon or they say that they will and keep changing
the plan then there is a good chance that you are not actually dating a real human who's
looking for a real long term relationship.
I do want to reiterate if anyone ask you for money it's a sign that you are communicating
with a scammer.
I just wanted to say that again because it's a massive issue in the society with the digital
world.
My last point which is trust one another.
Trust is a massive topic.
If you don't trust someone it's very hard to have a deep connected relationship with
them, in fact it's impossible.
Because when you don't feel emotionally safe with someone then you don't actually have
a relationship that is healthy.
So for you to be in a long distance relationship, it's important that you honor your agreements,
that your kind to each other, that you respect each other's boundaries, that you communicate
your needs, that you know that that person will support you and be there for you.
If you don't have that, if your requirements or your agreements are not honored then you
don't have a relationship.
Because trust allows for safety and when we don't feel safe in a relationship we cannot
actually open our hearts to love, there's no possibility for deeper connection to develop
overtime and this goes for any relationship.
And yet with long distance relationships trust is even more important because you can't see
the person as often.
So please keep in mind these 14 points.
If you're looking for deep devoted love, if you're looking for a relationship that is
long distance right now that can turn into a really truly beautiful long term lasting
love affair them it's really important that you follow these 14 points so that you can
actually build that devotion and deeper intimacy and feel fulfilled in a relationship, not
dissatisfied and always feeling like you're giving up on so much because when you're in
a long distance relationship you do also give up on certain things so it's really important
that you know what you're committing to and you know what's being committed back towards
you, so that you're both on the same page, if that make sense.
So it's been an honor to have you here with me.
To help you with this, to help you navigate these challenges in a relationship and to
really understand and make sure that you are committing someone who really is compatible,
loving and kind for you in your life, then please check out my program, Never Lose Him,
I share so much information about the different types of people were attracted to and how
to communicate and connect and really honor each other in a relationship.
I talk a lot about self worth and self honor which is a huge part of long distance relationship.
So please checkout, Never Lose Him, the link is right below in the description.
It's been such an honor to have you here with me, please subscribe to this channel, hit
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Please be passionate, be kind, be compassionate and please show your love and express your
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And see you again at my next video.