>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
>> Stephen: FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST AS THE STAR OF HBO'S
"SILICON VALLEY."
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RICHARD HENDRICKS.
( APPLAUSE ) ( SWALLOWS )
>> UHM... IT'S GREAT TO SEE SO MANY WARM FACES.
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF MEN AND WOMEN HERE AND WE SHOULD REMEMBER
THAT.
SO LET'S KEEP IT CLEAN.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH!
♪ THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH ♪
>> Stephen: HEY.
>> HEY.
>> Stephen: WELL, CONGRATULATIONSES ARE IN ORDER
TO YOU BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR COHORT ARE ON THE COVER OF "THE
HOLLYWOOD REPORTER" THIS WEEK.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: IN AN ARTICLE-- IT'S A GROUNDBREAKING ARTICLE.
>> GROUNDBREAKING.
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED "THE TRIUMPH OF THE BETA MALE."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> YOU KNOW I LOVE LABELS WHEREVER I CAN GET THEM.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
CONGRATULATIONS?
>> THANKS, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT'S RUFFLED SOME FEATHERS.
>> I KNOW, I'VE HEARD.
I'VE HEARD THE LEGENDS.
>> Stephen: THE BETA MALES ARE TAKING OVER.
YOU KNOW WHO ALEX JONES IS, RIGHT?
>> OF COURSE,.
>> Stephen: ALEX JONES SAID THIS, THE ALT-RIGHT FEELS
THREATENED.
ALEX JONES SAID, "THE GLOBALISTS ARE TEACHING US TO TURN OFF OUR
LIFE FORCE.
IT'S A CAMOUFLAGE SO THE ALPHA MALES DON'T KNOW THEY'RE BEING
TAKEN CONTROL OF AND BEING ENSLAVED."
ARE YOU ENSLAIFG THE ALPHA MALES?
I CONSIDER MYSELF A BIT OF AN ALPHA MALE.
>> OH, YEAH.
SO DO I, STEPHEN?
I GO TO BED IN FULL PLAID EATING A CHEESEBURGER AND SHOOTING A
GUN.
>> Stephen: I GO TO BED IN CAMEO.
YOU CAN'T EVEN FIND ME.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> IN ALL TRUTH, I CONSIDER MYSELF MORE OF A THETA MALE.
>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?
>> YEAH, YEAH, I'M WAY DOWN THERE.
( LAUGHTER ) I'M CUCCONCLUC.
YOU'VE BEEN A ROMANTIC LEAD HONEST TO GOD, IS THERE A
DIFFERENCE-- >> I'M A SEX SYMBOL.
I DON'T SEE WHY THAT'S FUNNY AT ALL.
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT.
>> AGAIN, LAUGHTER.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW.
( LAUGHTER ) STOP!
STOP!
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU-- HOW DO YOU MAKE THE TURN FROM BETA
TO ROMANTIC LEAD?
>> WELL, THIS IS-- THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF COMEDY DORK, RIGHT
DOWN THE BARREL.
OKAY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S BETA.
>> THAT'S BETA.
>> Stephen: SHOW ME ROMANTIC LEAD.
>> THIS IS THE ROMANTIC LEAD.
WHASSUP?
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THAT'S CREEPY.
NOW, THAT'S-- IT'S A FINE LINE.
>> HEY, IT WORKS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN ROMANTIC LEAD AND SERIAL
KILLER.
>> THAT'S WHAT I WANT ANYONE TO EXPERIENCE IF THEY MEET ME IN
PUBLIC TO JUST TURN AROUND AND I'M...
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, "SILICON VALLEY," YOU'RE ALL
PEOPLE IN TECH.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY STARTED TO REALLY INVEST.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IN-- IN TECH START-UPS.
YOU HAVE SEEN ANYTHING GOOD OR PARTICULARLY BAD, LIKE--
>> YEAH, I SAW A COUPLE OF GOOD ONE.
WATER EFFECTS, A DESALINATION COMPANY.
AND BEYOND MEAT, WHICH IS PLANT-BASED BURGERS AND STUFF.
IT'S GREAT, YEAH.
AND THEN ONE EARLY ON, BEFORE, ACTUALLY, I STARTED GET
INVESTING.
THERE WAS A CONVENTION-- WE DO IT IN THE SHOW, TECH CRUNCH.
>> Stephen: IT'S A REAL THING.
>> IT'S AN IMAGINEITORIUM.
AND ONE KID COMES UP TO ME AND EVERYBODY IS PITCHING APPS.
AND HE SAID, "I HAVE A GREAT APP.
IT'S AN APP THAT PRAISE FOR YOU."
I DON'T THINK HE REALIZED HOW MILITANT AND ATHEIST I AM,
EITHER WAY, I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG, A DROP-DOWN MENU
OF WHATIDATEY, AND "COMMENCE PRAYING."
AND GO ABOUT YOUR DAY.
JOB WELL DONE.
I SHOULD GET THAT NINTENDO 64 I HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR.
>> Stephen: IT'S PRAYING IN YOUR POCKET THE WHOLE TIME.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I WISH I HAD ASKED MORE ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT CALLED?
>> I CAN ONLY GUESS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE?
>> Stephen: AHHH... AMEN.
>> AIM-- >> Stephen: LITTLE A, MEN.
>> NOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GAY DATING APP.
>> Stephen: THERE'S SOME MONEY IN THAT.
>> BETA, BETA, BETA, BETA.
NOT ME.
NOT US.
NOT YOU GUYS.
WE'RE ALL OOFLS IN HERE.
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA STORY?
>> YEAH, OH, BABY.
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU ONLY PLAY A TECH GUY, BUT ARE YOU
SURPRISED THAT FACEBOOK ALLOWED THIS MINING TO HAPPEN?
>> COME ON.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT ON FACEBOOK.
>> NEITHER AM I.
I DELETED THAT THING -- >> Stephen: I WAS NEVER ON.
>> WELL DONE.
YOU SPARED YOURSELF FROM PEOPLE ASKING, "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP
TO THE PAST 15 YEARS."
AND WRITING A VERY LONG MESSAGE --
>> Stephen: I JUST SAY, "I'M ON TV."
>> CATCH UP!
WHY DON'T YOU WATCH TELEVISION!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAY.
>> I KNOW YOU.
THAT'S MY COLBERT.
>> Stephen: I SAY, "I'M SORRY, MOM."
>> SHE SAYS, "WHAT?
WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT?
I CAN'T EVEN SEE YOU CLAPPING.
I'M ON THE PHONE."
IT HONESTLY DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
MAYBE THEY ANNOUNCED WHEN I HEARD GOOGLE WAS ESSENTIALLY
CATERING YOUR SEARCHES BASED ON ALGORITHMS.
WE WOULD SEARCH THE SAME THING AND POTENTIALLY GET DIFFERENT
RESULTS BASED ON OUR PREVIOUS SEARCHS.
THE AGGREGATION OF THE INTERNET IS THE WORST THING TO HAVE
HAPPENED.
HOW CAN YOU CONTROL ELECTIONS WITH BOTS AND MINIONS TO, LIKE,
CREATE TRENDS, WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN EXIST?
THAT DIDN'T SURPRISE ME.
ALTHOUGH, TO BE HONEST, I'M HAPPY IT'S OUT THERE, SO MAYBE
PEOPLE CAN TAKE THE RED PILL AND GET WOKE!
IT'S DOCUMENTED!
WE GOT ALIENS!
YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
I'M AN ALIEN!
BUY MY PROTEIN POWDER!
>> Stephen: I'M IN.
I'LL BUY IT.
( APPLAUSE ) WELL, THOMAS, THANKS FOR BEING
HERE.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
THE NEW SEASON OF "SILICON VALLEY" STARTS THIS
SUNDAY ON HBO.
THAT'S THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COMEDIAN RORY ALBANESE.