hi guys my name is Marie and welcome to
my Kauai world I create a lot of videos
about life in Japan and Korea as well as
travel guides and if you're wondering a
little bit more about Who I am and what
I'm doing in Korea
then keep watching this video a lot of
that boils down to my decision to put my
six-figure job and become a stay-at-home
mom and this is what I was thinking when
I made that decision so this line
represents our life we are born and then
if we're lucky we'll live to maybe about
80 on average and the halfway point is
age 40 and then let's fill in the other
points just for a reference where are
you on this timeline I'm right here in
between 30 and 40 and then we have
childhood which is age 1 through 18 and
then you have your college and maybe
graduate school years from maybe 18 to
25 and then you work from about age 25
to 65 and then from 65 onwards you
retired
so this means you'll spend roughly 25 to
30% of your life as a child or teen or
student where you're just developing and
learning and this time is gold and so
treasure it and then you'll spend
roughly 50 to 60 percent of your life
for working and adulting and depending
on how long you live you'll spend
roughly 18 to 20 percent of your life in
retirement so don't save everything
until then now let's take a look at
Parenthood
we have about 18 years of raising a
child and I guess you never really
stopped being a parent but assuming that
your kid goes to college
they'll probably only be living with you
for about 18 to 20 years and that
stretches out longer the more kids you
have so I think that when your child is
an infant up to 1 years old that's when
your child really needs you for just
pure survival especially where they're
where they're in the fourth trimester
like the first three months of life or
they just they're totally in survival
mode and then up to age three is when
like it's before they go to preschool
they are wearing diapers they need help
feeding themselves and they just really
need someone around to care for them
it's a really difficult time for me it
was one of the most difficult times of
my life when I first became a new mom
but if you look at the percentage of
like what percentage of your life is
this it's only a fraction of your life
like 1% or less and if you have more
kids maybe that time period extends to
like 5% so 1 1 to 5 percent of your life
is when you know your child is really
going through these rapid stages of
development they're really growing and
changing and they really need you there
and they want you there they want you by
there by their side so when I looked at
this like it's just a small fraction of
my life and the baby time is so hard but
it's so good it's like the most
fulfilling and rewarding things I've
ever experienced so I wanted to be
present for it and I didn't want to have
to juggle my work and my family and
there's really like I feel like there's
really no balance you just have to make
sacrifices and there is an opportunity
cost to everything so you know what I
had to give up something and what I gave
up was my career and I always planned on
going back to it I never planned to be a
stay-at-home mom forever but so far I
haven't gone back to work now is
probably the time when I should be going
back to work I'm half Korean and half
Japanese but I'm 100% American I was
born and raised in Southern California
and I didn't actually live in Asia until
2014 when I moved to Japan then I lived
in Japan for three years and in 2017 I
moved to Seoul Korea before moving to
Japan I worked as a lawyer for three
years at a law firm in New York and then
at for four years for the federal
government in Washington DC five years
ago I had a baby and her name was Sienna
and that was a life-changing experience
for me I didn't realize this but before
I had kids I think I had like something
that I was always searching for like a
little empty space in my heart that was
unfulfilled
I was looking for that for like that's
something through like travel or through
and my ambition in my career or buying
things but after I had a baby that space
was just filled up so I loved being with
my daughter I loved being a mom and when
you work for the federal government you
don't get maternity leave you have to
take your sick leave and you only have
so much of it so if you run out of
sickly then you could take unpaid time
off if your supervisor approves and
people can also donate their leave to
you but there's no such thing as
maternity leave when you were under the
federal government so I was able to take
about five months off thankfully but a
lot of that was unpaid and I eventually
had to go back to work so I sent my
daughter to daycare I would get her
ready in the morning I would have like
an hour to an hour and a half commute
each way and then by the time I got home
she would be like ready to go to bed and
I was really stressed out because she
didn't drink her milk from the bottle at
daycare so to make up for it she would
nurse throughout the night and that
would keep both of us awake so I was
really sleeping that well and neither
was she I was really worried about her
sleeping pattern and then at the same
time one of my co-workers passed away
and that really impacted me even though
I wasn't close to him it really kind of
made me think about my priority I
remember going to his funeral and his
son spoke and said that it was such a
shame that he died so unexpectedly
because he never got to enjoy his
retirement and travel and be with his
family and spend as much time with his
sons as he had wanted to so I just kind
of thought like what am I even doing
with my life like I did
want to hang out with my daughter before
I became a mom I was all about my career
and myself and my own ambition and I
never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom I
just didn't really think of that as an
option for myself because my mom and my
grandma always emphasized that it was
really important for me to get an
education and to be able to support
myself and not to have to rely on anyone
because when my grandma was younger her
father died of tuberculosis and that was
really hard on the family because he
left behind eight kids so they really
struggled and my grandma always like
took that as a lesson and really
emphasized to her children that they
needed to be able to support themselves
financially so anyway after I had a baby
I just had a complete change of
priorities and all of that kind of went
out the window and I just wanted to be
with my child and spend time with her I
didn't want to like read about her
milestones on the report from daycare I
wanted to be there to witness it myself
so when my husband told me that he
wanted to apply for a job in Tokyo I was
like yeah go ahead why not I don't think
that either of us anticipated or really
plan on him getting the job it came as
sort of a surprise to me but when he did
we moved to Tokyo and I haven't looked
back since
do I have insecurities about what I left
behind
yes all the time I do I go through like
a mini crisis every once in a while I
don't even want to look at like LinkedIn
I don't want to see the profiles of my
peers who I graduated law school with
and who I worked with early on in my
career because I feel a little bit
inadequate I guess because I think that
they're probably all at the prime of
their
careers they're probably managing people
and maybe some of them have become
partners I don't know I feel kind of
obsolete and I feel a little bit behind
the rest of my class so that kind of
that kind of gets to me sometimes when
it comes down to it I know that if I
died tomorrow then I would die knowing
that I spent the last five years of my
life doing what I absolutely loved and
being with the people who are important
to me so in that sense I don't regret my
decision so I created my youtube channel
a sort of ah-hah side thing when I went
to Japan because it was really into
Japanese crafts like needle felting and
I created videos to share that with
their people and then I had a baby in
2015 so I didn't have time to do crafts
or anything like that I was just trying
to get by on the day-to-day which let me
tell you raising two young children is
much harder than working at a law firm
it is working would be a vacation
compared to raising kids but we started
to put up videos about Japanese snacks
and Japanese you feel captures which is
something that we did we played every
single weekend if not more frequently
and my husband got really good at it and
me filming it was a little bit nuts
because I would wear my baby strapped to
my body in the Ergo and then I would
film with this little polaroid cute
camera which looked like a toy so she
would always try to like grab it and put
it in her mouth while I was filming
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so there's like that struggle and then I
was trying to like fill my husband
winning and then sometimes I would play
until myself so it was a little bit
crazy but then well we really loved what
we did and we had a lot of fun and then
in 2017 we moved to Korea and I
I started playing claw machines here but
let me tell you it's not the same it's
not as good as it is in Japan we still
play claw machines but we don't win as
much it's a game of chance here whereas
in Japan it's a game of skill
so I started creating videos about Korea
and I'm a creative person so I get
inspired by like my surroundings when I
was in Japan I loved the Disney Store
and Sanrio store in Japan so I made
videos about that and then here in Korea
I make videos about cafes and shopping
and Korean food and all these things
that interest me cities are not static
they're always changing in the cafe that
you visited five years ago may not be
here today so I like to capture these
things and kind of curate them and put
them up on my channel so they're
available not just to me but to all of
you guys so if you can't be here in
person that you can then you can at
least visit it virtually and be inspired
by it
so another thing that I want to like
emphasize with my channel is that I'm
I'm I'm old I'm 37 years old and have a
five year old and three year old and I
still go to those cool cafes in Hongdae
where the teenagers and like
20-somethings hang out and like I don't
feel ashamed about it because I love
those cafes where everything is pink and
gold and marble and I think that my kids
will love it too and they do and there
are some cafes that exclude kids or like
no kids cafes and I really don't like
those cafes but I also kind of
understand where they're coming from I
just want to emphasize to you that youth
has no age and no matter how how old you
are you're never too old to love Hello
Kitty you're never too old to love like
cute and beautiful and pretty things so
I just want to showcase out my channel
and another core value that I have is
that family is the most important thing
and the most important thing to me is to
be a good mom to my girls to raise them
to be kind and compassionate people and
I want them to value intellect over
beauty and looks so important to me and
also by having them travel and by taking
them to different restaurants and
sending them to local preschools rather
than the American or international
school by having them learn new
languages I hope that they'll become
more open-minded and that they will see
the world as a place not where we should
build walls but where we should open our
doors and welcome people with open arms
and see that like
they're not so different Asians are not
so different from Americans were all
like for all people so if you guys like
my channel and if you like what it's
about if you enjoy my videos I hope that
you will stick around and subscribe and
also leave me a comment below and
introduce yourself and let me know where
you're from
tell me a little bit more about yourself
so that I can get to know you better
I'll talk to you my next video bye
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