>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM
"BROOKLYN NINE NINE" AND "VEEP."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," MATT WALSH!
(APPLAUSE) HEY.
>> HI STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> NICE TO SEE YOU, GLAD ARE YOU HEALTHY.
>> Stephen: THE THING PEOPLE DON'T KNOW, WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO
BE HERE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, WERE YOU ONE OF MY GUESTS THAT
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE WHEN I TESTED POSITIVE.
YOU JUST FLEW TO NEW YORK JUST FOR THE SHOI, RIGHT.
>> YEAH, BUT I MADE A NIGHT OF IT.
I WENT TO BOUGHT THE CHEAPEST SEAT IS COULD FIND, SAW GREAT
WORLD-CLASS THEATER AND WALKED HOME IN THE MIDST OF THE POST
PHISH CONCERT NITROUS OXIDE PARTY THAT WAS HAPPENING.
>> Stephen: SORRY, WHAT.
>> POST FISH, EVERYBODY DOES NITROUS BALLOONS.
>> Stephen: OUTSIDE THE GARDEN.
>> OUTSIDE MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, LIKE WHAT A GREAT GIFT,
THEY GIVE YOU A BALLOON AND I SAW PEOPLE GOING-- AND THEN I'M
LIKE OH ST NITROUS, LIKE THE PARTY IS GOING.
>> Stephen: DID YOU ENJOY IT.
>> I DON'T, I DON'T.
>> Stephen: GOODS BECAUSE ST BAD.
>> BAD FOR YOUR BRAIN CELLS.
>> Stephen: DON'T DO IT.
>> FOR ANYBODY WATCHING, DON'T DO IT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> THE SHOW IS REALLY HELPFUL FOR AMERICA. DON'T DO WHIP-ITS.
>> Stephen: IF THERE IS ONE THING.
>> IF NOTHING ELSE, THE DOG OR THE DRUGS DON'T DO WHIP IT Z.
>> Stephen: IF I CAN KEEP ONE PEOPLE OUT THERE FROM TAKING A
READY WHIP CAN, LET IT SETTLE FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AND
NOT-- LIKE THAT, DON'T.
>> KEEP YOUR BRAIN CELLS, AMERICA.
>> Stephen: NOW YOU BECAME A PET OWNER OVER COVID.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DID.
BUT YOU COULDN'T GET LIKE A DOG OR A CAT TO SAVE YOUR LIFE,
EVERY SHELTER HAD EVERYTHING ADOPTED.
SO YOU TOOK A CHOICE THAT MAYBE NOT THE FIRST FOR EVERYBODY.
YOU CAN TELL ME WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?
WHAT.
>> I GOT INTO RAISING CHICKENS.
>> Stephen: AND THEY MAKE GOOD PETS.
>> THEY ARE PRETTY GOOD PETS AND YOU GET EGGS FROM THEM.
THE TWO ROOST ERRS, THE BRACK ONE IS CALLED MR. PANTALOON, A
POLISH SILKY.
>> Stephen: THAT SAY SILKY.
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW YOUR CHICKENS.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND THE ONE BEHIND HIM IS SCRAWNY, HE IS SORT OF THE BETA
SO THE BLACK ONE IS THE DOMINANT AND SCRAWNY IS THE SECOND.
>> Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT THE OTHER CHICKENS.
>> I COULDN'T NAME THEM.
THEY ARE JUST HENS.
THEY ARE IDENTICAL.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> ALL FEMALE CHICKENS ARE THE SAME TO YOU.
>> THEY DON'T HAVE ANY DISTINGISHED-- WHATEVER, MAN.
JUST GIVE ME MY [BLEEP] EGGS.
(LAUGHTER) [BLEEP] NOW I'M IN TROUBLE.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU IN TROUBLE, TIME TO CANCEL MATT
WALSH.
>> THEY DON'T HAVE A LOT OF DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS
IN MY DEFENSE.
I CHALLENGE YOU TO FIND A DIFFERENCE.
>> Stephen: BETWEEN CHICKENS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, BRING THEM OVER.
>> ALL RIGHT, I WILL.
>> Stephen: LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AWHILE, GIVE ME A MINUTE.
>> CAN WE GET SOME LEMON, SOME OLIVE OIL AND I WILL FIND A
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE CHICKENS.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: I MEAN, IS IT FUN TO HAVE CHICKENS, DO YOU FEEL
LIKE A FARMER.
>> I DO.
AND MY WIFE DIDN'T LIKE IT AT FIRST BECAUSE I BUILT THE COOP
MYSELF IN THE BEGINNING BUT IT WAS TOO JANGY AND SHANTDY TOWN
SHE SAID GET RID OF IT, ORDER A REAL ONE.
>> Stephen: WAS IT BETTER.
>> MUCH BETTER.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE THE KIND THAT ROLLS AROUND,
DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE LAWN.
>> ST PERMANENT.
WE HAVE A FENCE.
>> Stephen: TO KEEP OUT THE WOLVES.
>> WE DO HAVE COYOTES IN L.A.
>> Stephen: I COULD TEAR-- COYOTES HERE EVERYWHERE,
THERE IS COYOTES IN BROOKLYN.
>> REALLY.
>> Stephen: PARDON MY FRENCH BUT COYOTES EVERYWHERE IN THE
UNITED STATES.
>> NOT IN MANHATTAN.
>> Stephen: THERE ARE COYOTES OUTSIDE THIS THEATER RIGHT NOW,
WAITING, WAITING TO PICK OFF SOME OF THE STRAG ELLERS IN THIS
ODD YINS, THEY HIT THEM IN THE ANKLE, MOVE IN AND JUST TEAR
THEM APART.
>> THEY COME IN ON TRASH NIGHT, THEY KNOW WHEN FRASH NIGHT S
OVER THE BRIDGE.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK I WILL ASK
MATT ABOUT WORKING WITH EVAN -- EVA LONGORIA AND HER
CHICKENS.