Hey.
Ando here from SenseiAndo.com and Happy Life Martial Arts.
In case you didn’t notice, I have a skinny neck.
That means it’s pretty easy for my training partners and, God forbid, real-life attackers,
to get their grubby little arms under my chin and choke me out.
But before I tap—or possibly die—there are a couple of tricks that I practice to
give myself a little more time to work my escape and counters.
Now, I’m not talking about magic tricks here, I’m talking about last ditch efforts
to buy myself one or two more seconds.
That might not sound like a lot of time, but remember, when it comes to chokes, when you
could be sleeping in 5 to 8 seconds, even adding one second could make the difference
between surviving and dying.
So, see if you can hold your breath for 8 seconds and I’ll be right back with a couple
of tips.
Hey. Here’s a quick warning just in case you’re an idiot— practicing choke defense can be
a dangerous way to spend the day if you’re not careful.
So, please—make your safety and the safety of your training partners your number one
priority at all times.
Okay.
Trick #1: Smile.
No, not a cocky smirk.
This is why people want to choke me out in the first place.
Instead, I want you to smile like a supervillain.
Like the Joker on crack.
You’re going to drop your chin anyways.
It’s a natural defense against the choke.
We all do that.
But adding a smile makes it even better.
Do you see what happens to my neck when I do that?
Take a look.
You see that?
It just puffs up a little bit.
The goal is to create a little extra space to protect my carotids and my trachea.
Now, am I saying that your neck muscles are ever going to be stronger than the bad guy’s
arm muscles?
No.
But if smiling can buy me an extra one or two seconds, then I’m going face death
with a smile.
Try it right now.
Put your fingers on your neck and just feel how different facial expressions either strengthen
or weaken your neck.
Your goal is to find a face that helps you puff up and strengthen your neck without leaving
you too tight to move.
Once you find your— let’s call it a choke face.
Once you find your choke face, then practice it.
Seriously, do like 20 reps.
Go for a burn just like you would with push-ups, or squats, or any other exercise.
The only difference is that If anyone sees you doing this exercise, they’ll think you’re
insane.
Trick #2: Bullfrog.
What?
I’ll show you.
Look.
You see that?
That movement is caused by pressing your tongue into the roof of your mouth.
Now, just like the smile, you have to experiment with this.
Put your fingers under your chin, on your neck, and figure out where you have to put
your tongue to press into the roof of your mouth, to get the biggest bullfrog effect.
Once you find your sweet spot, add the bullfrog to your choke face.
Together, these will help claim back some of this space that they need to
choke you out.
Trick #3: Relax!
I mean, relax.
Look, I know—if some maniac is squeezing your throat, the last thing you’re thinking
about is relaxing.
But consider this—if he thinks that choke is working, he’s just going to keep squeezing.
He’s never going to let you go.
On the other hand, if he’s starting to doubt that choke, if he’s losing confidence that
it’s working, well, he’s going to start thinking about letting it go and moving on
to something else.
So, when you get choked, don’t just kick and thrash in a blind panic.
That’s just telling him that everything he’s doing is working.
Instead, play it as cool as you can, protect your neck, and just do what you can to start
working your escapes and your counters.
Now, remember—if that choke is off by even a little bit, you can relieve that pressure
off your throat, or off the side of your neck, then you’re not going to pass out.
So, if you can’t get out, well, then it might be a better idea to stonewall, save
your energy, and be ready to explode the second he decides to give it up.
One more thing.
Be careful about the noises you make.
When you’re getting choked, you might hear you lips start to motorboat.
You might even hear yourself making snoring noises.
Now, if the bad guy hears you motorboating or snoring, he will definitely have a big
boost in his confidence.
Maybe that’s what you want.
Maybe that’s part of your strategy, I don’t know.
Just be aware of the signals that you’re giving off, voluntarily or not.
Oh—and you might have heard that playing dead or going completely limp is a pretty
good way to get out of a choke.
Uhh...
I’d say that if you’re in a classroom setting with a friendly training partner,
absolutely.
That’s not such a bad idea.
But in a real-life attack with a real-life attacker, I’d say that playing dead is more
likely to get you really dead.
So, my advice—keep fighting until you can’t fight anymore.
Whoo—that got dark.
Okay, so, let’s review.
Smile, press your tongue, and relax.
Three last ditch tips to help you survive a choke and stay in this world a little longer.
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Until next time, keep smiling, my friend, and keep fighting for a happy life.